Mou Ichido Kono Te Ni Chansu Wo
by damn-me-4-luving-slash
Summary: AU What happens when the crew of the Archangel mistreat Kira because he is a coordinator? How will Athrun react to seeing his state after capturing the Strike and bringing it aboard the Versaillius and how will Kira react to being treated by kindness?
1. Chapter 1

**

* * *

**

Author's Note: Welcome to my newest story. This is the result of a plot bunny that plagued me during Christmas 2007 that has evolved into a fully fledged story. Updates will be slow in coming because I am very busy but I'll try not update a chapter once every two years. Just a few warnings: _SLASH_- yes it is slash and you have been warned so if you don't like it, don't read it, _ABUSE_- I'm not very good at writing believable abuse but I'll try my best. Also it will not be too graphic; I'm not that cruel, _BASHING_- The Earth forces, all of them, are going to be majorly bashed in this story just because there has not been a story like this out here, at least I have not found one yet, and if you don't like this, again don't read it; it's as simple as that. Well enough of this.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or the line from RIVER that is used as the title.**

**Mou Ichido Kono Te Ni Chansu Wo**

* * *

_If only I could get just one more chance…_

* * *

Summary: What happens when the crew of the Archangel mistreat Kira because he is a coordinator? How will Athrun react to seeing his state after capturing the Strike and bringing it aboard the Versailius and how will Kira react to being treated by kindness once more?

* * *

"_Mama I want Kira to be my oyomesan!" Five year old Athrun Zala announced at dinner that night. His parents laughed, not only in amusement at the conviction a five year old could announce something so startling, but to dispel their nervous energy after being caught off guard._

"_And what does Kira have to say about this hmm?" Patrick, his father, asked turning his attention to the brown haired boy dining with them._

"_I want to be Athrun's okusama so that he can be my danna and we can live together and eat as many marshmallows and chocolate as we want." Athrun's close friend replied._

_Both sets of parents laughed again and the two pre-schoolers pouted fiercely._

"_Well then," Caridad Yamato said after recovering "we'll prepare the ceremony for the both of you once you are of age but are you sure that you'll still want Kira as your oyomesan by then Athrun? What about meeting some nice girl?"_

"_Eww no girls," Athrun complained "I only want Kira. We're going to be together forever."_

* * *

_**All hands to level 1 battle stations, all hands to level 1 battle stations**_

"Damn it," Mu muttered in mild disappointment "Just as things were starting to get interesting."

He got up, quickly throwing on his flight suit, before hurtling the broken, bloody boy on his bed his civilian clothes.

"It looks like we'll have to continue this later huh coordinator? You better hurry, wouldn't want some unfortunate accident to befall your friends would you?" the blonde man threw over his shoulder spitefully before running to the hanger.

Sixteen year old Kira Yamato sat up carefully holding back his tears and cradling his left arm close to his body. He was sure the older man had broken his dominant arm on purpose, although nearly all coordinators were ambidextrous. He dressed quickly and made his way to the hanger as well, ignoring the hostile looks he was getting from all those around him.

"Are you ready to launch Strike?" Miriallia asked trying not to flinch at her friend's beat up appearance knowing that it would only cause more trouble for the small, shy boy and themselves. 'Are you okay' her eyes seemed to ask

"Yes," Kira said shortly answering both the spoken and unspoken question.

Miriallia flashed him a small smile "Alright you have clearance to launch."

Firing up the boosters and increasing the acceleration slightly while trying to ignore the shooting pain racing up his injured limb Kira readied the mobile suit.

"This is the X105 Strike launching." He said before the machine was catapulted into space.

In front of him were the four other gundams that had been stolen from the Heliopolis base. He saw the Duel and the Buster were trying to break through the Archangel's defences while the Aegis and the Blitz kept Mu's mobile armour busy. He felt his heart twinge at the sight of the red mobile suit.

_We were going to be together forever; well there is no hope now._ He thought desolately before he was interrupted by an incoming radio transmission from the Archangel.

"Yamato, you are to protect this ship AT ALL COSTS!"

"Roger." He said before closing the link and heading towards the two mobile suits threatening the ship; thoughts of his past love flying from his mind.

* * *

"Well, well, well, look who's come out to play Yzak." Dearka commented over the intercom to his platinum blonde friend as they continued to rain havoc over the ship's defences.

"I'm getting that guy for good now," the hot-headed boy growled before leaving his post to attack his approaching prey.

"Wait Yzak…" the dark skinned teen called but to no avail.

The young Joule fired his missiles and watched in frustration as the pilot managed to dodge most of them.

'Crap' Kira thought as he was jostled around the cockpit from the missiles he hadn't managed to avoid, jarring his injuries further.

_I'll get you this time_ Yzak thought as he let loose another barrage of missiles; this time he was very pleased when nearly all found their intended target.

The second barrage caught Kira off guard and in his pained state he was unable to dodge them in time. The machine shook violently once again and his head smashed into the communications screen in front of him, knocking him out cold. His right hand slipped off the controls and opened a video link for all to see.

"WTF?!" Yzak and Dearka exclaimed at the same time when their view was suddenly obscured with the image of the unconscious pilot.

"Oh my god," Nicol whispered struggling to keep a hold of the contents of his stomach.

Athrun stopped his assault on the mobile armour when the transmission appeared before him. _'No'_ he thought in despair before turning his attention to the now prone Strike.

'_If that kid thinks he can escape this battle by faking injury then he has another thing coming'_ Mu thought angrily. He opened his communications link "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING SLUT! STOP YOUR FAKING AND PROTECT THAT SHIP! THERE ARE LIVED MORE WORTHY THAN YOURS ABOARD AND…"

BAM!

The Aegis slammed a fist into the nose of the Zero sending it back many feet. Opening his own link Athrun tried to contact the small boy.

"Kira," he called desperately "Kira can you hear me?"

No response or movement came from the injured boy.

"Kira!" Athrun shouted again.

This time a groan of pain emerged as the teen slowly regained consciousness. The blunette breathed a sigh of relief; relief that was short lived as Kira let out a pained scream scaring the young ZAFT pilots out of their wits. The battered mobile armour appeared from behind the Strike.

"COME ON COORDINATOR, FINISH THE JOB OR ARE YOU AS WORTHLESS AS YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS ON BOARD!" Mu yelled at the frightened youth.

Athrun's short fuse on his temper snapped and he disabled the annoying craft before throwing it in the direction of the Archangel.

"You. Will. Not. Talk. To. Him. Like. That. Ever. Again." He said in a deathly calm voice.

"I suggest that you leave this battle as it is obvious that you have already lost." Dearka said gravely trying to keep from bursting into laughter.

The battleship seemed to take his advice because they began to retrieve the now useless mobile armour.

Glad that they wouldn't have to deal with anymore crazy Earth Forces pilots Athrun turned his full attention to Kira, ignoring the questions being fired at him by his team mates.

"Koishii, what's the matter?" he asked concerned. His only reply was Kira's muffled sobs. "Kira?"

"Damn it all," he growled after Kira continued ignoring him. He turned to open the link to his fellow pilots only to find that it had already been open and that the other three had probably heard everything he'd said. After deciding that he could worry about that later he addressed them, "Guys cover me while I fetch the pilot of the Strike."

"What, Why?" shouted Yzak who had been relatively quiet until now.

Athrun sighed, "It's complicated and I promise to explain later but not right now."

Nicol decided to intervene before a fight could break out "Athrun not only is that not a good idea but it's also impossible. That guy's not even wearing a flight suit."

"Say WHAT!" he asked confused before turning back to look at the image once again. Sure enough the older boy was only dressed in the civilian clothes he had seen him in during the Heliopolis attack although they seemed a little worse for wear now.

"Stupid naturals." He heard Yzak mutter under his breath but he paid no attention to him. All he cared about was the obvious neglect the naturals had treated Kira, his Kira, with. They hadn't even cared enough to give him a flight suit. A moan of pain followed by more sobs alerted Athrun to Kira's plight once again.

"Nicol, am I right in assuming that all the mobile suits have a first aid kit inside them?" he asked figuring the green haired boy was probably the most sensible of them all and likely to know.

"Yes I would think so," Nicol replied "Why?"

Athrun ignored the question returning his attention to his ailing lover "Koishii can you hear me?"

"Yes," came the muffled, tear filled response.

"Okay, can you please reach under your chair and remove the first aid kit there?"

"Uh huh," Kira said after struggling not to cause his overly stressed body more pain. Even with the care he had taken he could feel more blood run down his back into his seat.

"Right, now inside the bag is a small syringe that contains a painkiller. You'll have to administer it yourself since I cannot get to you. Can you do that for me?"

"Athrun," Kira moaned in fear. He was not a big fan of needles ever since he'd had a bad experience with them at their lunar prep school.

_Flashback_

"_Kira Yamato, you're next." The nurse said as she read off her list. Young Kira hopped off his seat beside his best friend and scurried into the office._

"_Well now Kira, your mom has specified that along with the flu medication we should do a spinal tap__ [1]__, just to make sure the meningitis is really gone."_

"_Will this hurt?" the second grader asked a bit fearfully_

_The nurse gave a short laugh "No it shouldn't but I'll need you to be as quiet as you can so that I don't make a mistake. Can you do that for me?"_

"_Okay." The youngster agreed lying face down on the bed after removing his school shirt as he had been instructed. _

_The nurse got the needle prepared and slowly pushed it into Kira's lower vertebra. All was silent except for Kira's soft sobs. Just as the needle was fully inserted a loud commotion outside in the hallway startled the nurse, causing her to break the needle off the syringe. Kira cried out in pain as the piece of metal was pushed into his back completely. After seeing what had happened the frightened nurse quickly grabbed some gauze and bandages, wrapping them around the area where the needle was located. She tried to calm her crying patient but Kira was in too much pain to be placated. After giving up the fruitless exercise she wrapped the petit boy in a blanket before picking him up and rushing out to her car where she immediately drove to the nearest hospital._

_End Flashback _

"I know Kira-chan but please can you inject it, just this once. You know I don't like seeing you cry and this helps with pain." As if sensing Kira's continued reluctance Athrun pulled out the big guns "Do it for me please."

After taking one look at Athrun's pleading face, Kira's resolve broke and he awkwardly put the syringe in his right hand. He placed the needle just above his vein and after taking a deep breath to steal his nerves he took the plunge and injected the medication into his blood system. The reaction was instantaneous. The now empty vaccination fell from numb fingers and Kira bent forward, trying to take a breath into his lungs not caring about the searing pain in his lower back. Cold sweat broke out along his forehead as he leaned back in an attempt to escape the suffocating feeling in his chest and his skin took on an unnaturally pale pallor. His eyes rolled up into his head and he went limp.

"Kira, Kira, what's wrong!" Athrun shouted from inside the Aegis; the sound resonating in the cockpits of the other teens as well.

"Geez Zala, could you shout any louder? Maybe next time you can actually try for bursting our eardrums." Yzak griped.

"Shut up Yzak. Nicol read me the contents of the painkiller quickly."

The golden-eyed boy retrieved the syringe from his own kit while the youngest Zala tried, once again, to contact his friend.

"Should I just read it to you Athrun?" he asked stupidly

"Yes Nicol."

"Okay it says 'contains salbutamol, paracetamol, potassium sobate, inasemtoestel…"

"Wait, wait, wait, did you say paracetamol?" the blunette asked in dread

"Yeah but what…"Nicol trailed off as he listened to the list of profanities spilling from his roommate's mouth, blushing like a schoolgirl.

"Yzak, Dearka, you guys are closest to the Strike. Grab it and bring it to the Versailius quickly!" Athrun yelled while mentally running through all the places Kira had kept his antihistamine from the last time they were together.

"Now wait just one second Zala," Yzak protested, "Ever since you saw the Strike's pilot you've been acting like an idiot and commanding us to commit actions that I am sure will get us court marshalled. Why should we risk our hides by helping you help the enemy AND bring him aboard the ZAFT ship? What is so special about this natural?"

"Kira is not the enemy," Athrun replied hotly but hurried to calm himself down "Look, I said I'll explain later but now we really need to help him. What you are seeing are the effects of a severe allergic reaction to paracetamol. If I don't get to him and inject his antihistamine HE COULD DIE! I'm not prepared to lose him; not so soon after finding him again."

"Well then," Yzak said with a smirk, glad that things had finally turned into his favour. "I guess you're going to have to tell us who he is if you want to save him."

Seeing no way around the corner he had back himself into Athrun sighed in defeat; Kira's life was much more important than keeping his secret a secret, "Fine you win Yzak. Hesmyfiance."

"What?" Dearka asked confused not able to decipher the rush of jumbled words.

"HE'S MY FUCKING FIANCÉ YOU DOLTS!" Athrun shouted finally very annoyed and sick with worry. "Yes that's right; my fiancé is the pilot of the Strike and a guy. Deal with it."

"But what about…" Nicol tried to ask but seeing as Athrun was no longer paying him any attention and was now moving towards the gundam he gave up.

Yzak and Dearka snapped out of their shock induced slumbers and grabbed a hold of an arm each. They began pulling the mobile suit towards the rapidly approaching Versailius while Athrun and Nicol took care of the legged ship that had started firing once they had retrieved the battered mobile armour. After temporarily crippling the Earth Forces battle ship the remaining two pilots rapidly flew back to their ship.

* * *

As soon as he had the Aegis properly docked Athrun hastily exited the cockpit and ran for the fifth mobile suit in their hanger, hoping and praying that he wasn't too late to save Kira. The other three stood next to the giant machine, obviously eager to see the boy who had managed to evade their advances for as long as he had.

"We didn't know what to do so we just decided to wait for you," Dearka supplied as he passed but he paid him no mind.

Taking a huge leap he made it onto the ledge outside the cockpit without a misstep. Hurriedly punching in the override code Athrun hoped that his little oyomesan would be okay after this experience.

Once the door was opened Athrun wasted no time in entering the small space and quickly checking Kira's state. He noticed that his skin was still unnaturally pale and the mesmerising violet eyes that were usually filled with warmth and life were screwed shut from pain but he seemed conscious, if not completely. Being careful not to disturb the obviously broken arm, Athrun searched in each pocket of Kira's. _'when this is all over' _he thought in frustration as another pocket left him without the medication _'I'm going to buy Kira some clothes that don't have this many pockets. Finally!'_

Removing the small syringe from its hiding place in Kira's green pants he carefully tilted the fragile boy's head, exposing his long, smooth neck. Slowly inserting the needle into Kira's carotid artery Athrun took a deep breath and administered the antidote. He removed the empty canister with the same care he had taken while putting it in he sat back and waited for the medication to take effect.

After a while the colour in Kira's cheeks returned and his breathing eased up dramatically. As Athrun watched the eyelids covering the much missed violet orbs fluttered and soon Kira was gazing at him in a drugged haze, semi- conscious of what was happening around him.

"Welcome back Koishii," the green-eyed boy said affectionately pushing the bang's out of the small boy's eyes, trying to keep a frown of his face when Kira flinched and tried to shy away from him. "For a while there I wasn't sure you were going to make it. How about I get you out of this uncomfortable chair and in a warm bed, hmm?"

The haze on Kira's mind cleared when he heard what Athrun intended to do "Athrun wait," he called out softly, trying to warn him about his chair, but it was too late. The blunette had already picked him up and was backing out of the cockpit, effectively removing him from the chair. The metal bars that had been lodged in his lower back came free roughly and he found that he could not contain the scream that exited his mouth, passing out immediately afterwards.

Athrun started fiercely when Kira screamed and he placed him back onto the chair in hopes of relieving whatever pain he had accidentally caused. He felt something warm and sticky trickle between his fingers and, after making sure the other arm provided ample support for Kira, he removed his right hand. His eyes widened in shock as he gazed at the blood that coated his whole lower arm and hand.

"Oh Shit." He mumbled quickly gathering the brunette into his arms again. Backing up slowly he had Kira completely out of the chair and his view was now unobscured. He tried not to gag at the inhumane items attached to the chair and quickly floated down to the bottom, where the others were waiting with their commander.

"Athrun what…?" Le Cruset tried to asked but the blue haired boy had started running as soon as his feet made contact with the ground. "What was that about?"

"Look," Dearka said pointing to the space where Athrun had landed. Droplets of blood floated in the air and more were present above them closer to the entrance of the Strike's cockpit.

"Something's fishy here," Nicol observed before floating up. He gazed into the damaged space before pushing himself out with an exclamation of disgust.

"Nicol what is it?" the other three demanded. The green haired boy shook his head.

"I'll tell you later or you can go and look for yourselves but all I know is that Athrun is going to need a lot of support. I also know that he'll be in the infirmary as that was where he probably took…" he trailed off unable to remember who his friend had said his fiancé was.

"I think his name is Kira." Dearka supplied filling the silence. Nicol smiled gratefully.

Yzak snorted "A girly name for a girly boy. Typical"

The others paid him no attention knowing he was secretly jealous that Athrun and his boyfriend were getting so much attention.

"I suggest the infirmary would be our best bet. Athrun will be able to clarify more once we get there." The blonde haired commander said in his typical manner.

The three nodded their agreement and followed, many questions running through their heads.

* * *

Athrun was shouting for a doctor even before he had entered the infirmary therefore it came as no surprise when he spotted a couple rushing towards him when the doors finally admitted him. He placed Kira face down on the nearest bed and stepped back as the doctors started their examination. Many worried glances were exchanged at the amount of blood that covered Athrun and the bed sheets as well as the wound in Kira's back once they exposed it. One doctor, a young brunette with warm golden eyes, approached him and led him back outside of the infirmary.

"What has happened Mr Zala?" he asked once they were out of the hearing range of any wandering soldiers.

Athrun told him what he knew and watched, as the doctor's face grew more concerned. After finishing he saw the doctor nod before giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"Thank you, we'll make sure that…"

"Kira," Athrun said shortly suddenly exhausted "His name is Kira Yamato."

"Well then, we'll make sure Mr Yamato receives the best medical treatment that we can give him."

Giving him one more pat, the doctor hurried back to the infirmary.

Athrun sighed; he knew it would be a few more hours before he would be allowed to see Kira, he may as well change and contact his father. He knew that he would not be able to face this mess by himself.

On his journey back to his and Nicol's room, he was grabbed from either side and manhandled into the next room. Cursing himself for his inattentiveness, he glared at the smug faces of Yzak and Dearka, the apologetic one of Nicol and the curious one of his commander.

"You want to know about Kira?" he asked not in the mood to be interrogated but knowing they would not let him go until they found out what they wanted to know.

"Well done genius." Yzak said mockingly "Let's see if you can guess right a second time."

Rolling his eyes Athrun ignored the jab. "Can I contact my father first? He needs to know before I can tell you all."

"You can use my conference videophone, that way you won't have to tell the tale twice." Rau offered.

"Thank you." Athrun said getting up and dialling the number of his father's office.

"Patrick Zala's office, how may I help you?" The secretary recited as soon as the connection was made.

"Good afternoon, I'd like to speak with Chairman Zala please."

"I'm sorry but he's in a meeting at the moment. Can I take a message?" the woman said in a bored tone before popping her chewing gum.

Athrun gritted his teeth and fought the urge to say something rude. "Can you please tell him it's an emergency?"

The secretary sighed in annoyance "Who may I say is calling?"

"His son."

"One moment please."

Rocking on heels, he clasped his hands together, wincing when he felt the dried blood on his hands, Kira's blood. He desperately needed to shower but he could not; not while he was held captive by his crazy teammates. It was not long before his father's anxious face appeared on screen.

"Athrun, what's the matter." The chairman paused after taking in the state of his son's clothes "You know what scrap that first sentence, what has happened?"

"Are you in your office dad?"

"Hold on."

Patrick's face disappeared only to reappear two minutes later."Tell me everything."

Athrun turned to the occupants of the room. "Better get comfortable, this might take a while and I need to talk to my dad before I can begin my story."

The other three made themselves comfortable; Dearka sprawled over a sofa, Yzak sinking into an armchair and Rau and Nicol sharing the second sofa. Athrun remained standing and faced the videophone once he was sure they had situated themselves comfortably.

"Dad, I found Kira." He stated bluntly

Patrick's face appeared gob smacked, of all the things he had been expecting, hearing your son state that he had found his long lost fiancé was not one of them. What he couldn't understand was why Athrun looked so grave. This was good news was it not.

"He's been mistreated by the naturals." Athrun continued.

Ahhhhh… that was why the teen sported such a forlorn expression. Athrun had always been very protective of Kira and things had only gotten worse after the boys had finished the second grade and the young brunette boy had had that unfortunate accident with the nurse.

"Dad, should I tell them about Kira?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, the elder Zala focused on his distressed son. "If you feel it is beneficial son."

The blue-haired head nodded and turned to speak to his companions. "As I already told Nicol, Dearka and Yzak, Kira is my fiancé. We were engaged at the age of five, when we didn't know any better. All we knew was that we wanted to stay together forever. It was at dinner that I conveniently announced my plans to make Kira my oyomesan."

"What's an oyomesan?" Nicol asked

Athrun gave a small smile "It's Japanese for bride. I am half-Japanese and so is Kira although we are both coordinators. We grew up learning the Japanese customs courtesy of our mothers and it was through them that Kira and I learned of the Japanese marriage ceremony."

He paused as he smiled in remembrance. Patrick gave a quiet cough

"Son I don't think they have all day."

Athrun blushed slightly "right, anyway when we moved to PLANT Kira and I lost contact but even then I never stopped loving him. Every year on the day I had announced my plans to wed Kira my dad has been asking me if I still intend to do so and so far my answer hasn't changed. When I saw Kira in Heliopolis it felt as if my heart was breaking and soaring at the same time. When I saw him piloting the gundam though I knew immediately something was wrong." He took a breath to try and calm his racing heart before continuing "Kira's a pacifist and has always been a pacifist. There was no way he would willingly pilot a machine such as the Strike. Every time we've met I've tried to talk to him but I think he was hurt by the fact that I was with ZAFT and has been very reluctant to have any communication with me but..." he trailed off as he paused in his unconscious pacing " today, something horrible has obviously happened to him and we happened to catch him at his worst." He paused in thought "I think this has been happening for a long time; when I tried to brush the hair out of his eyes he cringed away from me, as if he was afraid of my touch." Athrun turned to Patrick, eyes reflecting his anger and desolation for his fiancé "Dad, Kira's been abused. It is possible that he was also..." he didn't continue but Patrick knew what he meant.

"Where is Kira now?" he asked his son

"In the infirmary." Athrun replied tiredly. "He needed immediate attention because those...naturals, they..." he took another breath to calm himself "they had metal rods attached to his chair which were lodged into his back. He's..." Athrun broke off "It's not good."

Taking in his son's weary posture and hearing about his future son in laws condition, Patrick made a quick decision.

"Athrun, son, listen to me." The blunette raised his weary eyes, eyes so much like his mother's, to him, "I'm on my way. I won't let you go through this alone. You need help and god knows Kira needs to see a few friendly, familiar faces while he recovers." Athrun nodded to the logic "What I want from you," Patrick continued "Is to go to your room, take a nice long shower and go to sleep. Allow yourself some time to accept things before you go and see Kira. Commander Le Cruset," the blonde stood to attention "I'm making it your job to see that Athrun does as he is told. Athrun, when I arrive we'll take things from there okay?" Athrun nodded again "See you soon son and stay strong."

The link cut and Athrun found himself confronted by four sets of curious eyes. He stood his ground until Dearka decided to break the silence.

"Five huh?" he asked amused

"We're very close," Athrun said in reply.

The blonde walked up to him and clapped him on the shoulder good- naturedly "Well to each man his own I guess," he said before leading the shorter boy towards the door. "Get some rest captain and we'll talk more later."

Giving them a weary salute the youngest Zala trekked to his room where he made a beeline to his bathroom, shedding his clothes along the way. As he stood under the warm spray of the shower his mind drifted back to Kira.

'I'll protect you from now onwards my love,' he thought was the water soaked him through 'nothing will ever hurt you again.'

* * *

That's the first long chapter from me. It has taken a year and a bit for me to write this and the next bit for me to gather the courage to put it up. I promise you though, The next update won't be after a year.

Notes:

[1]- I'm not 100% sure if this is the correct procedure but yeah, that's what they are doing

Vocabulary:

Koishii- Beloved, darling

Oyomesan- Bride

Danna- Husband

Okusama- Wife (polite)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's notes:**** Hey there,** **I finally managed to type up chapter 2 after much encouragement from all my wonderful reviewers! I want to thank everyone who decided to check my story out and all those who took the time to review. I usually write a personal thank you but, unfortunately, I forgot where I had stopped when answering reviews and decided to do it here instead of cluttering inboxes with repeats. So here goes:**

**Dragonfire04- Thanks for the review. Unfortunately when it came through I was very busy but I managed to type up the next chapter regardless ;-). Hope you enjoy it.**

**Atemu no K.- I understand that its weird to see a paternal Patrick but this is how I imagined he would be if he had gotten over himself and realised that there is still someone he can live life for :-D. Thanks for the complement; I hope this chapter meets your standards as well.**

**Kitsune Twins- Thanks, I really wanted the story to start with a bang. It also helps that the story has been in the works for two years XD. Hopefully I haven't kept you in suspense for too long, enjoy.**

**Tala Ishtar- Thank you very much. Here's the next part of the story. May it be as enjoyable as the last chapter.**

**DreamsDragon- Thank you for the review, I really appreciate it.**** I present to you the next chapter; I hope that it was a fast enough update. **

**Thank you also to all the people who favourited my story or put it on story alert. Unfortunately they are too numerous to put up here but to know that you enjoyed my story to that extent warms me up inside and actually encourages me to write faster. Now without further ado, the next chapter; translations are at the bottom.**

_**Disclaimer: **__**I do not own Gundam Seed or the songs used within the story.**_

* * *

"_Oba-san, Oji-san, Kira, we're back from the PLANTS!" the energetic blue haired boy cried as he bounded through the door of the Yamato's home._

"_Welcome back Athrun, did you have a nice time?" Kira's father, Haruma Yamato, asked his son's best friend and potential fiancé. _

"_Yes Uncle Haru, we went to the beach lots of times and papa got all red and then mama said we couldn't go anymore." Athrun replied with a small pout. _

_Haruma laughed quietly at his friend's expanse before returning his attention to the blue haired boy in front of him. "Kira and Auntie Caridad should be home soon from the park. You're welcome to wait and munch some cookies with me Athrun."_

_The little boy cheered "did Auntie bake them?" he asked as the two made their way into the kitchen._

"_This morning so they're nice and fresh," the calm man replied._

_Hoisting Athrun into the chair and setting a plate of cookies in front of him, Haru went into the backyard to speak with Patrick, whom he had spotted from the window._

_Athrun continued to munch on the cookies until he heard the door closing which meant that Kira had returned! Dropping from his seat and rushing to his best friend, the excited five and a half year old stopped short when he spotted Kira crying in his mom's arms._

"_Kira, what happened?" he exclaimed in surprise_

_The hurt boy turned at the sound of Athrun's voice before launching himself at his friend, still sobbing._

"_Kira please tell me what's wrong?" Athrun pleaded as they sunk to the floor, the combined weight too much for him._

_Caridad left the two kindergarteners in order to inform her husband of what had taken place at the park. Kira continued to cry before his muffled voice came out._

"_Am I a freak?" he asked into Athrun's shirt._

"_What? Kira please look at me, what's the matter?" Athrun urged, feeling panic creep into his five and a half year old mind_

_The brunette shook his head and tried to bury himself further into Athrun's shirt. Athrun tutted and lifted Kira's face so that he could speak to him properly and gasped. Kira's right eye had swollen over and was starting to bruise badly while the rest of his face was covered in various scratch marks. Athrun traced a finger over the tender eye before Kira started crying again._

"_Shh," he comforted as the adults returned "No one will hurt you ever again, I promise."_

* * *

When Kira woke, it was to a wave of pain and unfamiliar hands undressing him. Thinking it was the blonde pilot from the Archangel come to torment him again, he began struggling furiously, trying to save himself from further humiliation. More hands came to restrain him and he cried out in panic, fighting his attackers.

"He's delirious," he heard as more hands came to restrain him "We're going to have to sedate him."

'No' Kira thought as he saw a shape move towards him with an object that looked suspiciously like a needle. 'I cannot allow this to happen, not again'

With a burst of strength, Kira broke free and managed to manoeuvre himself away from the scrambling hands. As soon as his feet made contact with the floor, he ran. The doors opened for him and he darted down the hall, not caring about anything in his drug induced confusion. All he cared about was sparing himself from more pain. It wasn't until he turned the corner that he encountered something blocking his path. Bumping into it, he felt himself falling until strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist. He started to struggle again until he heard a voice as familiar to him as his own.

"Don't Kira," it said "you're safe now. Nothing will hurt you"

"Uncle Patrick?" he asked softly, his voice hoarse from disuse

"Yes it's me. No one's going to hurt you here." The elder Zala replied while picking the injured boy up.

Kira curled into the muscular chest, this scene was familiar. He didn't know why his uncle was aboard the Archangel but at the moment he didn't care; he would be protected from those who aim to hurt him.

* * *

Patrick Zala, leader of ZAFT, was walking the hallways of the Versailius on his way to find his son and try and make sense of the situation that he had now found himself in. He was deep in thought as to how he could help the two most important people in his life.

'Abused' he thought as he turned the corner 'Little Kira Yamato has been abused, although I suspect he's not so little now. I knew he had always been bullied by the other natural children but I never thought that it could evolve into...'

Abruptly he was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt something bump into his chest. Quickly grabbing onto the person's waist to prevent them from hurting themselves he found himself looking into the panicked, clouded eyes of his son's fiancée. Obviously not seeing him, Kira began to struggle so he did what was familiar to him, he soothed the frightened boy.

"Don't Kira," he said "you're safe now. Nothing will hurt you"

"Uncle Patrick," a small voice asked him. He breathed a sigh of relief; at least Kira could still recognise his voice.

"Yes it's me. No one's going to hurt you here." He continued as he picked the petit boy up, frowning at his weight. Surely a teenage boy should weigh more than Kira did?

Kira relaxed into his hold and together they made their way back to the infirmary where pandemonium had occurred following Kira's escape.

"I believe this is the patient whom you are looking for," he said as he laid Kira back onto his bed. The brunette whimpered at the loss and opened his eyes.

"Uncle Patrick?" he asked tiredly

"Yes Kira?" Patrick replied patiently, knowing that Kira would probably still be as clingy as he was as a child whenever he had been ill.

"Where's Torii?"

Patrick drew a blank until he remembered the robotic bird his son had worked on for three weeks for his friend before they left for the PLANTS. He hadn't realised that Kira had kept it for all these years, let alone that it was still functioning.

"I don't know Kira; I'll ask Athrun if he's seen it." He replied softly, stroking the bangs away from the sleepy boy's eyes. Kira flinched away from his hand before leaning into the touch.

"Okay, when you come back will you please bring my guitar and my songs?" Kira mumbled before falling asleep.

Patrick smiled softly at the young man before placing a kiss into his hair "Of course I will, Kira."

* * *

When Kira woke next it was to find himself lying on his stomach with restraints on his arms. His entire lower torso was covered by bandages and each time he tried to move, a shock of pain raced up his back. The young coordinator began tugging at the restraints uselessly before the doctors noticed what he was doing.

"Now now Mister Yamato we can't have you doing that," one of them said as he placed his hand on Kira's arm to stop his tugging "those were placed there for your own safety I'm afraid. You nearly paralysed yourself with your escape earlier."

"Please take them off," he tried begging them but his voice came out as a whisper.

Unfortunately the doctor didn't here "We'll be keeping them on until your body manages to heal the wounds in your back which should be tonight, at the earliest, tomorrow lunch time, at the latest."

Kira felt the beginnings of panic creeping into his body as he heard the prognosis. "Please," he tried again "I don't like being tied down."

"Now all we need is to give you the last shot of your medication and a mild sedative then you'll be on your way to a full recovery," the doctor prattled on as he prepared the necessary instruments.

The panic began clouding Kira's mind and his breathing became more laboured. Suddenly he wasn't in the hospital anymore and he was back to the taunting, abusive faces of the Earth Alliance soldiers. He tried to close his eyes against it but it didn't help. The pain, the humiliation and the rape, it was all back and the only thing Kira could do was cry silently as his mind tortured him over and over again.

* * *

"Dad, when did you arrive?" Athrun exclaimed as his door opened to reveal his father, dressed completely in civilian attire.

"A few minutes ago although I had to return Kira to the infirmary where it seems as if he escaped." Patrick replied sitting himself at his son's crowded desk.

Athrun frowned at the news about Kira "How's he doing dad?" he asked, anxious to go see the brunette for himself.

Patrick sighed heavily "It looks as if they have him drugged up well as he didn't seem to recognise me except for when I spoke to him and I think he's very underweight. I know Kira's always has been thin but this is extreme, even for him."

Athrun nodded sombrely to his father's words before flopping heavily onto his bed and covering his eyes with his arm. "What should I do dad?" the teen asked desperately "I just don't know what to do. I want to help Kira but..."

"You don't know how he's going to react to you." Patrick finished. "Go to him son and be there for him. He still cares for you deeply even if it is not love. That much I am sure of."

Athrun removed the arm from his eyes so that he could stare at the ceiling. "How do you know?" he asked after a pensive silence had fallen between the two.

Patrick gave his son a small smile before getting up to ruffle his hair "He's kept Torii and is asking for it even now."

Athrun sat up quickly, giving his father a disbelieving look "You're kidding, right?"

Patrick gave a small laugh and sat next to Athrun, "No I'm not kidding. He asked me where it was and I told him that I would ask you. Judging from your reaction, I'm guessing you haven't seen it."

Athrun shook his head "No but I'm sure it might be in the gundam he was piloting. There were lots of things in there that I think belong to him when I retrieved him from it."

Patrick stood, pulling his son up with him, "Let's go see if we can find Torii and make Kira's stay in the hospital a little more bearable."

Smiling at the thought of the little robotic bird he'd made years ago, Athrun followed his father out.

* * *

By the time the two made it to the hanger they had been joined by Dearka, Yzak, Nicol and Le Cruset, all of whom were curious to get a closer look at the machine. They stopped just in front of the machine glancing up at it; Athrun in apprehension and the rest in awe. Seeing his captain's reluctance Nicol spoke softly to him. "Would you like me to go and open it up? I know it can't be pleasant for you."

Athrun gave the green haired boy a grateful smile. "Thanks Nicol but I'll be okay." Taking a deep breath and floating up slowly, Athrun typed in the override code before calling out "Torii, Torii!"

He waited but when it seemed as if he'd have to look for the mechanical bird, it flew out of the cockpit, calling in its mechanical voice. The toy flew towards him and landed on his shoulder with a happy "Torii."

"Hey little guy, long time no see," Athrun said to it while stroking the head softly. "You better fly to Kira; he could use a bit of comfort."

The bird cocked its head to the side as if in understanding before flying off towards the infirmary, calling all the time. Athrun chuckled before calling down to his dad "Anything else?"

"Just his guitar and songs Athrun, we'll leave the rest for when Kira's well again." Patrick called back.

Steeling himself, Athrun entered the damaged cockpit and avoided looking at the monster of a pilot's chair, heading to the back of the machine. It took him a while but eventually he found the guitar that Kira had been given for his eleventh birthday and a whole sheaf of music tucked carefully into a side compartment in the machine. Bringing them with him, he avoided looking at the chair once more as he closed the gundam up and floated down to the others. Handing the instrument to Nicol, he began sorting through the papers.

"Are those what he wanted son?" Patrick asked as the group made its way to the infirmary.

"Yes dad it looks like these are..." Athrun trailed off and slowed to a stop, his eyes fixed to the paper in his hands. This, unfortunately, cause Yzak to walk into him.

"What's the big idea Zala?" the hot-headed blonde demanded after recovering himself.

Athrun ignored him as he read the lyrics in shock. He mouthed them to himself, as if that could change their meaning. By now everyone had stopped and was watching the blue-haired boy.

"Athrun are you alright?" Nicol inquired softly

"_kotoba mitsukerarezu omowazu fureta katasaki kimi wa nani mo iwazu ni tsumetaku furihodoku hon no sasai na gokai kara osanai ai wa kuzureteku sonna kanashii kao wa mitakunai" _Athrun whispered, unable to remove his gaze from the words written on the page.

"Athrun, son, what is the matter?" Patrick asked forcefully, diverting the blunette's attention away from Kira's work.

"_kotoba mitsukerarezu omowazu fureta katasaki kimi wa nani mo iwazu ni tsumetaku furihodoku hon no sasai na gokai kara osanai ai wa kuzureteku sonna kanashii kao wa mitakunai," _Athrun repeated louder, giving his father a heart broken look.

Shoving the papers into Yzak's hands he walked away with a quiet "excuse me" The group with exception to Patrick watched him go in confusion until Le Cruset turned to the shocked father.

"Sir, what was it that Athrun said to you?" he asked curiously, his mask glinting in the artificial light "I'm afraid none of us speak any Japanese."

Taking the papers from Yzak, Patrick glanced at the song that had caused Athrun so much grief. He sighed "It's a song which Kira has written." He motioned for them to follow him to the infirmary "My son's fiancée is a marvellous musician," he explained "His music comes from the soul, literally. Everything Kira writes is what he feels and sees. Never has Kira written a song unless some deep emotion was involved." They turned the corner and slowed as the infirmary doors came into view. Patrick turned to them, taking Kira's instrument from Nicol simultaneously. He gave them a sad smile "The song which has upset Athrun translates to _'Unable to find any words, I instinctively reached out to touch your shoulder And you, without saying anything, coldly broke free Because of a trivial misunderstanding, our young love is giving way, I don't want to see such a sad face' _Please excuse me."

The group were left stunned as the truth of the unknown boy's song sunk into their consciousnesses.

"That's rough," Dearka said as the group disbanded and the mobile suit pilots made their way to their common room. "Zala's got to be pretty messed up to show that much emotion in public."

Yzak smirked "How about we go and help our captain out with his little love problem?" he proposed, already changing direction.

Dearka clapped him on the shoulder "Mr. Joule you are one evil mother fucker. Yeah, let's go."

* * *

Upon entering the infirmary, Patrick saw Kira sitting up on his bed, Torii resting on his shoulder. The small boy didn't turn his head when the door opened so Patrick took the time to consult with the doctors.

"How is he doing?" he asked, glancing back at the too still boy.

The doctor followed the Decembrius leader's gaze and gave a weary sigh, "His injuries are completely healed. I've never seen anything like it. We expected that tonight would be the latest time we would be having him sitting up but a few hours ago, when we were changing the bandages, we saw that he'd healed already. There's not even any scars to show were he'd been injured however..." he shook his head, perplexed, "he hasn't spoken much since he woke up again. We removed the restraints we had on him to prevent any movement during the healing process and he just sat up and began petting that little mechanical bird, once it flew in here. In fact, he hasn't moved much either."

Patrick frowned at this "How would you say his mental health is?"

Giving another sigh the doctor led him over to the bed "I cannot say for sure, but I would suggest some intense therapy, hypnosis as a last resort."

They reached Kira's bedside and after a friendly pat on the shoulder, the doctor left to give him some privacy.

"Kira, I'm back," Patrick called softly, setting the papers on the bedside table. Kira lifted his dulled eyes to him.

"Hi Uncle Patrick," he said softly "Did you bring my guitar?"

"I have it right here," Patrick said placing the instrument on the bed "do you want to play something?"

Kira nodded before picking up the guitar and cradling it in his arms "would you like me to sing for you Uncle Patrick?" he asked while strumming a few chords.

"If you don't mind," Patrick replied, knowing that Kira needed to unburden himself.

Playing a short introduction the petit boy began singing

_Kazesasou kokage ni utsubusete naiteru_

_Mi mo shiranu watashi wo watashi ga miteita_

_Yuku hito no shirabe wo kanaderu GITAARA_

_Konu hito no nageki ni hoshi ha ochite_

Athrun started from place at the observation deck when he heard the sound of Kira's singing flowing through the ship. He felt the pain in the words and could not help the tears that began flowing down his face. Turning back to the emptiness of space, he placed a hand on the glass to steady himself as he expressed his grief. 'I've failed you Kira' he though as both songs resonated in his mind 'I'm so sorry my love.'

_Yukanaide, donna ni sakende mo_

_ORENJI no hanabira shizuka ni yureru dake_

_Yawarakana hitai ni nokosareta_

_Te no hira no kioku haruka_

_Tokoshie no sayonara tsuma hiku_

The pace of the song picked up and Patrick could help but marvel in the skill being displayed before him. He too was being affected by the power of Kira's song but remained strong, for the sake of the two teens in his care.

_Yasashii te ni sugaru kodomo no kokoro wo_

_Moesakaru kuruma ha furiharai susumu_

_Yuku hito no nageki wo kanadete GITAARA_

_Mune no ito hageshiku kakinarashite_

_Aa kanashimi ni somaranai shirosa de_

_ORENJI no hanabira yureteta natsu no kage ni_

_Yawarakana hitai wo nakushite mo_

_Akaku someta suna haruka koete yuku_

_Sayonara no RIZUMU_

"What's that?" Dearka asked as he paused in their search for Athrun, the power of the music overwhelming him. The other two stopped to listen as well, letting the music flow through them.

"That's the sound of a suffering soul," Nicol said quietly trying not to drown in the emotion of the song. "My guess is that it's coming from either Athrun or Kira; they're the only one's hurt enough to play with such grief."

The two nodded in agreement before continuing their search, the music haunting in their ears.

_Omoide wo yakitsukushite susumu daichi ni_

_Natsukashiku me fuite yuku mono ga aru no_

_Akatsuki no kuruma wo miokutte_

_ORENJI no hanabira yureteru ima_

_mo dokoka_

_Itsuka mita yasurakana yoake wo_

_Mou ichido te ni suru made_

_Kesanaide tomoshibi_

_Kuruma ha mawaru yo_

Kira felt his pent up emotions being released as the song drew to a close. He relished in the feeling of freedom, knowing that soon the weight would return to his heart. He sang with all his soul, wanting to unburden as much as possible. He didn't know where the song was coming from, as usual, but he sang it anyway, relying on Torii to record the lyrics as it always did. Strumming the last chord he was surprised to find his cheeks wet and himself wrapped in his uncle's strong arms. Setting the guitar aside, Kira clung to Patrick and continued to cry glad that no one here would reprimand him for doing so.

For hours they stayed like that, the soon to be father and son-in-law, one soaking up and comfort given while the other gave it freely. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ship, one blunette continued to grieve for his lost love. The song had offered one a release but became the burden of guilt for another.

* * *

There it is chapter two. I'm not too happy with the ending but...*shrug* As promised here are the translations:

Oba-san: Aunt, Auntie

Oji-san: Uncle

Song: Translation can be found on my profile, too long to be put here.

Until next time

Salani Kahle/ Goodbye


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note:

**I've uploaded another chapter YAY ME! It really is quite a feat as I am very busy at the moment. I managed to find time though, to write bits and pieces of the chapter and voila! I apologise that it's not the usual length but I had to stop before I advanced the plot too quickly. The only thing left to say is ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: ****Don't own anything that anyone recognises from Gundam Seed. Or anywhere else for that matter.**

* * *

"_Far in the light I can see it, in every scene on the night, a tiny feather of love. I've got to go; destiny never finds a way from me my love."_

"_Kira, Kira where are you!" Athrun called from beneath the tree. The brown haired boy abruptly stopped singing and turned himself 180 so that his head stuck out at the bottom of the branches._

"_Athrun," Kira called back "I'm here in the tree."_

_The young blunette turned at the gate and jogged back, relieved that Kira appeared unhurt and was not crying. "What are you doing in the tree?" the young Zala asked curiously._

_Kira grinned cheekily "Come up and you'll find out." With that he turned himself back around._

_Shrugging at his friend's odd mood, Athrun quickly scaled the tree and sat himself on Kira's branch. The brunette had his eyes closed and was humming a soft tune under his breath. Athrun couldn't help but think that his friend looked like an angel as the light seeped through the leaves and illuminated his slightly tanned skin._

"_Athrun you're staring at me," Kira's voice interrupted Athrun's musings and he looked away to hide his growing blush._

"_Wasn't," he said stubbornly_

"_Was," Kira replied but gave up the argument in favour of humming again._

_"What are you singing?"Athrun asked curiously, over his brief bout of embarrassment_

_Now it was Kira's turn to blush and he stopped mumbling a quiet "sorry"_

"_No don't stop, it was pretty." Athrun urged "will you sing me something?"_

"_Okay, but promise you won't laugh" Kira said, looking his friend in the eyes. Athrun crossed his heart sombrely; never would he laugh at Kira, that would hurt him and he'd made a promise._

_Kira leaned against the trunk of the tree again and started so softly that Athrun had to strain to hear him._

You and I, can share the silence

Finding comfort together the way old friends do

And after fights and words of violence

We make up with each other the way old friends do

Times of joy and times of sorrow

We will always see it through

I don't care what comes tomorrow

We can face it together the way old friends do

You and I, can share the silence

Finding comfort together the way old friends do

And after fights and words of violence

We make up with each other the way old friends do

Times of joy and times of sorrow

We will always see it through

I don't care what comes tomorrow

We can face it together the way old friends do

We can face it together the way old friends do

_Kira finished the song with tears streaming down his face and he gave his long-time friend a sad smile for what would probably be the last time. Athrun gathered the petit boy into his arms and stroked the baby soft hair as Kira finally let go completely._

"_Please don't go Athrun," the eleven year old cried "I don't want to be alone."_

_Athrun lifted the smaller boy's chin and also gave him a sad smile "You won't be alone, you'll have Torii." He said pointing to the robotic bird that was currently nesting in Kira's hair. _

"_Athrun, we need to go." Patrick called waving his son over._

"_Okay," Athrun called back before turning back to the sobbing boy in front of him. "Please don't cry Kira, I want to see your smile one last time before I go."_

_Kira laughed a bit and wiped his eyes "you won't forget me?" he asked unsurely_

_Athrun placed a kiss to his fiancé's forehead "never, after all you are going to be my oyomesan."_

"_Athrun!" Patrick called again._

"_Coming!" Athrun yelled back. He gathered his nerve and leaned down to place a soft but chaste kiss on the shocked brunette's lips._

"_Bye Kira," he whispered "thank you for singing for me."_

_Placing one more kiss on Kira's lips, Athrun stepped away and ran towards the waiting shuttle. He paused and waved, wanting to commit the memory of his fiancé into his mind. Kira waved back and watched as the shuttle launched and catapulted Athrun into space, never to return again. _

* * *

"Captain, how'zit going?" Dearka called as the three remaining members of the Le Cruset team entered the observation room. Athrun sat at the window with his head between his knees, curled into the smallest ball possible. At the sound of their voices, he turned his head away from them.

"Come on Zala, you cannot let this get to you," Dearka urged as he floated towards the still boy, "you don't even know the context that your Kira wrote that song. You have to go and talk to him."

Athrun finally turned towards them and they flinched at his haggard expression. "I can't," he said hoarsely "I've hurt him too much; he won't want to see me."

Nicol also floated over, placing a hand on his captain's shoulder "That's not true and you know it," he said gently "From what you've told us about your Kira, he's not that type of person. He'll need to see you; to know that you don't hate him."

Athrun turned away "I'm not going to hurt him with my presence. I know you all heard his song just now and I know that my dad gave you his other song's translation. I've hurt him deeply, betrayed his trust; he'll never forgive me."

Yzak, who had been silent up until that moment, strode up to the blunette and hauled him up by his shirt. "Listen closely Zala," he hissed angrily "You know what I think your problem is? You don't want to be with your Kira anymore. You've seen the baggage he's coming with and now you want out."

Athrun pushed the blonde away angrily "How dare you," he whispered furiously "how dare you insinuate that Yzak. I don't want 'out' as you so aptly put it."

Yzak smirked, crossing his arms "Oh I think you do, you just don't want to admit it; to us and to yourself."

The blunette whirled around from staring out of the window and slammed the shorter teen into the wall. "Shut up Yzak, you have no idea what we've been through!"

He dropped the stunned teen and began to pace agitatedly "I made a promise to him," he shouted as he continued to pace "I promised that no one from Blue Cosmos would ever hurt him again; that he would never be beat up for being a coordinator" The blinding anger drained away leaving Athrun feeling more tired than he had ever been. He resumed his starting position. "I've failed his so badly guys, I promised Kira I'd keep him safe and now he's hurt worse than he's ever been hurt before"

Yzak picked himself up and strode towards the guilt-ridden boy. He slammed his hand against the wall beside the blunette's face causing Athrun to look up in surprise.

"Pathetic," the blonde snapped "you're feeling too guilty about a promise made who knows when to go and see the person you love." The youngest Joule straightened and headed towards the door.

"See you around Zala; hope you get your head out of your ass soon." He called as he left.

The remaining two pilots, sensing that Athrun needed to be alone, also bade farewell before leaving the confused boy to his thoughts.

* * *

Kira sat in a mountain of pillows, transcribing his song from Torii's recording when the door to the infirmary opened and an unknown boy strode in. The brunette shrank back into the pillows; this was the first time he had seen anyone other than his Uncle Patrick and his doctors and he was unsure as to how the rest of the ship would react to his presence. Would they hurt him like on the Archangel or would this be his chance to finally be accepted?

The agitated blonde walked past his bed, obviously looking for a doctor, and Kira was able to relax slightly as he was unnoticed. He went back to transcribing and became so engrossed in his work that he did not notice the young pilot returning.

Yzak took his time examining the skittish young pilot, mentally noting his various quirks. His heart twinged when he remembered a time long past; a time of light before the darkness invaded his life.

"Is Athrun ever going to come see me?" a soft, almost melodic voice broke into Yzak's thoughts. He found himself under the intense scrutiny of pained violet eyes.

"I beg your pardon?" Yzak said clearly, not sure if he had been asked what he thought he had been asked.

"Athrun Zala," Kira repeated still scrutinising the boy beside him, not sure what had prompted him to make conversation with the stranger "Is he ever going to come and see me?"

Yzak didn't reply, not sure how to tell the delicate looking boy in front of him that Zala was feeling too guilty to come and see his hurt fiancé. His silence was enough for Kira though, who turned back to transcribing his song.

"I don't blame him you know," Kira continued as Yzak just stood staring at him "for hating me I mean. Eventually, everyone hates me; even my parents." Kira's working arm paused before continuing marking the page with his heart's song "Why would anyone not hate me. I'm an ugly, disgusting whore who only knows how to please others. Also I've been shooting at him, Athrun. He has every right to hate me."

"That cannot be true," Yzak blurted out. The brunette lifted startled, teary eyes up to him.

"It's what everyone tells me so it has to be true." Kira responded softly, lowering his eyes to his hands once again.

Yzak pulled the chair beside the bed out and sat down. _'Why am I doing this?'_ he argued with himself _'I don't even __**know**__ him!'_

'_But his situation is exactly like Carmen's' _his inner voice argued back _'and you cannot allow anyone to go through what she went through. Especially alone'_

His inner dialogue ended when Kira shifted uncomfortably, holding his left arm close.

"Are you still in pain?" the blonde asked quickly, moving towards the tray on the bedside table.

"No, no I'm okay. It's not as bad as anything I've ever had." Kira hurriedly assured him "The doctors say that it's a side effect from my body healing so quickly."

Yzak looked at him sceptically but stopped reaching for the painkillers. He sat in a contemplative silence, trying to think of the best way to approach Kira about the abuse inflicted upon him before deciding to deal with it directly.

"Do you realise that what was done to you is not right?" he asked cautiously

Kira turned his eyes away from the icy blue ones boring into his own.

"You didn't deserve any of this Kira," Yzak continued gently.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" the soft spoken boy burst out "I'M DISGUSTING! WHY ELSE WOULD EVERYONE RA..." Kira broke off, horrified at what he had been about to say, He jerkily gathered his things and carefully put them on the table before burying himself under the covers. Yzak sighed, knowing he would get nothing more out of Kira, and stood.

At the door, the platinum blonde paused and looked back at the motionless boy, "I'm here to listen if you need to talk," he called back softly. The brunette's heart-broken cries followed him down the hall.

* * *

"Dad, can I talk to you?" Athrun asked as he tentatively poked his head around his father's cabin door.

Patrick lowered the papers he had been reviewing and turned to face his son, "Come in Athrun, I came to help you after all."

The teen slowly closed the door behind his before perching himself on the bed. Patrick waited patiently as Athrun gathered his thought, knowing that he had to speak first.

The blunette sighed; knowing the best way to get to the bottom of his troubles would be through bluntness. "Does Kira hate me?"

Patrick stared at his son in confusion "Why would he? Should he have a reason to?"

Athrun flopped back onto the bed "I broke my promise to him Dad. I couldn't protect him."

Patrick shook his head ruefully, remembering Athrun's pre-school promise "Son, I doubt Kira remembers your promise; I'm surprised you even remember." Seeing the glare Athrun directed at him, Patrick got up and placed his arm around the broadening shoulders.

"Athrun," the father began "don't torment yourself over a promise made a long time ago. This is a matter you had no control over and it is in no way your fault that Kira got hurt."

"But..." Athrun began

"No 'buts'," Patrick rebuked sternly. "It is not your fault and Kira most certainly does not blame you. Have you gone to visit with him yet?"

The blunette shook his head "I don't want to pain him with my presence."

Patrick sighed and gathered Athrun into his arms, placing him on his lap as he did ten years ago.

"There's still much you need to learn son," the elder Zala said softly as he slowly rocked his son "Today, I will impart to you one of the most important lessons one can learn about marriage and one's partner. Listen carefully."

Athrun raised his eyes to lock with those of his father's.

"No matter what wrong you have committed, no matter what promise has been broken; a good husband is always at his loved one's side to offer them that unconditional love they need. Kira needs your help, now more than ever. What you need to do is support and love him, remind him that he is not alone during this difficult time. All the rest of the problems will sort themselves out;" he tapped the tip of Athrun's nose "You'll see."

Athrun contemplated his father's words, and unwittingly those spoken to him by Yzak earlier that day, before realising how selfish he had been acting. Giving his father a hug, the now energised teen slid from the strong presence before walking to the door.

"Thanks dad, I needed to hear that," he called out before heading towards the room of his most important person in the universe.

'_Ah young love' _Patrick thought as he chuckled softly before returning to his papers.

* * *

After Yzak left, Kira cried fitfully as unwanted memories from his time on the Archangel resurfaced before he fell into a restless sleep.

_Kira sat silently in the backseat of the car as his foster parents fought from the front seats. Ever since his parents had been killed in an accident a few months after Athrun had left him, his life had taken a turn for the worst. Jamal and Kate Iriamoto did not seem to take particular interest in his well being, preferring to fight each other instead. Their disinterest hurt, after growing up in a very loving family, but he knew that he was one of the luckier orphans; some often did not even end up getting adopted._

"_I've had enough of your nonsense," Kate's scream cut through Kira's musings. The hot headed red opened the door of the now stationary car and slammed it shut. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer."_

"_But what about the kid?" the irate man called jerking a thumb towards Kira in the back._

"_Do what you want with him. I'm through with you and everything that has to do with you. Goodbye and good riddens." The red-head flicked her hair over her shoulder and walked away, nose up in the air._

_There was silence for approximately two minutes before Jamal rounded on the scared pre-teen. _

"_This is your entire fault, freak!" he yelled as he back-handed the small brunette. "Do you see what you've just cost me?"_

_Kira's violet eyes filled with tears as he raised a trembling hand to his burning cheek._

_The car started moving again, driving towards the shadier parts of town "You heard Kate," the crazy man called back "You're mine now and I'll make sure you learn your place coordinator. Not like that bitch."_

_Kira whimpered quietly, things would not turn out well for him._

"_Don't worry," Jamal cooed as his hands tightened on the steering wheel "we're going to have lots of fun together."_

Sitting up with a soft cry, Kira looked around in confusion; his mind still trapped within his nightmare. Spotting a figure hunched over his bed, he scrambled back trying to put as much distance between him and his 'attacker'.

The dim lights brightened and Kira stopped his frantic movements as he recognised the shock of blue hair that graced his friend's head.

Strong arms wrapped around him, offering the comfort he desperately craved. Kira clung onto the strength that was his fiancé as he wept. No words were spoken; no words were needed as the two lovers rediscovered what they had thought long lost.

When Kira calmed, he lifted his head from the strong chest he had buried it into, in order to ensure that Athrun was really there; that he was not imagining things again. Athrun smiled at him sadly, wiping the tears away from his love's face.

"Forgive me," he whispered "I've been a fool. I left you when you needed me most."

Kira smiled before reburying his head into Athrun's warmth. "You're here now," he replied just as softly, "that's all that matters."

* * *

That's another chapter done! I never thought I would ever get it done but I managed. Please let me know what you think, whether the plot flows correctly or if I'm jumping arond too much. As the author, there is only so many times one can read one's working without it appearing to be without error. Thanks to all those people who have reviewed so far; I'm glad you like the story so far.

Notes: Songs sung: Tsubasa by FictionJunction KAORI, The Way Old Friends do by ABBA.

P.S. The playlist for this story is up and running so go check it out on youtube under the lupinblanche channel.

Until Next Time


	4. Interlude 1

**AN: **Desole, Gomen nesai, Ngiyaxolisa, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! I know I said I'd have this up by Thursday in my new story _Mu's List_ but *sheepish grin* I kinda forgot. I worked like a maniac to finish it though and then, as I was getting ready to transfer it to a laptop that can access the internet, I discover that I don't have a memory stick. Finally, I get a stick and here I am. I know its not a valid excuse but I'm really, really sorry and the chapter can now be uploaded.

I know it has been a long wait but life got chaotic all of a sudden and I just didn't have time to write. Add some major writer's block into the equation and you have a disaster on your hand. I got it done though I really don't think that this is what you expected. I will be inserting these interludes every three or four chapters as they are kinda essencial to understanding the events later on in the story.

Thanks to all the people who have revieweed so far, I am chuffed that the story has so many followers. And 2stupid, I have tried to understand what a cosmic retcon is, gone to so many sites and nada, nothing. Maybe I'm just missing an essencial part of my brain that aids in understanding these things. I tried X-l

Well enough rambling from me, on with the story.

**_Disclaimer: I still don't own it. If I did, I'd be rich and Kira and Athrun would be a canon pairing._**

**

* * *

**

**Interlude**

Athrun rushed across the street. He'd just come back from visiting the PLANTS again with his family and he couldn't wait to tell Kira all about his trip. He entered the Yamato abode without knocking as per usual and started calling his best friend's name. As with the previous time, his uncle Haru poked his head around the doorway and greeted him with a smile.

"Welcome back Athrun-kun." The aging man said with a smile "You always seem to return when Kira and Auntie Caridad are out. They'll be back soon so why don't you join me for a game of Sudoku?"

"What level?" the blunette asked curiously. Sudoku was his favourite game.

Haruma smiled "Fiendish, just as you like it."

"Where are the penc..."

Just as he was preparing to agree, Athrun heard the door close and the sound of hurried feet.

"Athrun you're back!" Kira cried as he tackled the taller boy.

The two rolled about in a ball of excitement before Caridad appeared in the door

"Kira," she admonished "Take off your kimono before playing. You'll pull the stitching otherwise."

"Sorry mama," the brunette replied before getting up from the floor and brushing the garment off. It was then that Athrun noticed his best friend's elegance in the traditional dress.

"Hey Kira," he asked, getting up from the floor as well "why are you wearing a kimono?"

Violet eyes turned to his in confusion before lighting up in excitement "Oh I can't believe I forgot to tell you," Kira gushed "Mama has me taking dancing lessons, traditional Japanese dancing. I started a few weeks ago."

"Is it hard?" Athrun asked, they never did anything traditional unless it was a special occasion or holiday.

"Some of it," came the reply as Kira fumbled with the opening "I like it though. I'm currently learning the _dan_ part for this one dance and I need a partner but otherwise everything is really great. We use fans and stuff."

Athrun halted Kira's fingers "Can you show me?" he pleaded.

Kira smiled gently "Sure, let me get the fan and music."

"Promise you won't laugh at me Athrun," Kira said as they walked into the Yamato back yard, the shorter boy still dressed in his kimono.

The blue-haired boy ran his fingers across his chest "cross my heart and hope to die."

Kira beamed "Sit right there," he directed pointing to their favourite tree "I still don't have the whole dance perfect but I'll try my best."

Once he was sure Athrun was settled, Kira walked back to the radio and put the music on. As the intro started, Kira took his position.

_Ari adiemus nate ari adiemus da_

_Aria natus nate adua_

_Are vare tue vare _

_Are vare tue vare _

_Are vare tue vare natea_

_Ari adiemus nate ari adiemus da_

_Aria natus nate adua_

_Are vare tue vare _

_Are vare tue vare _

_Are vare tue vare natea_

_Are vare tue rawe _

_Are vare tue ra_

_Are vare tue rawe akala_

_Are vare tue rawe akala ( aye ku aye)_

_Are vare tue rawe akala (aye ku aye)_

_Aye ku aye_

_Aye ku aye_

Athrun could not do anything but stare at his friend. Kira's movements were so graceful and beautiful that he just wanted to be able to take his place next to him. The material in the kimono shone in the slowly dying sunlight, and it was then that Athrun knew that he had never seen anything as beautiful as his best friend at that moment.

Slowly getting up so not to disturb Kira; Athrun joined his friend and tried copying the movements as best as he could.

_Are vare tue rawe _

_Are vare tue ra_

_Are vare tue rawe akala_

_Are vare tue rawe akala ( aye ku aye)_

_Are vare tue rawe akala (aye ku aye)_

_Aye ku aye_

_Aye ku aye_

_Ari adiemus nate ari adiemus da_

_Aria natus nate adua_

_Are vare tue vare _

_Are vare tue vare _

_Are vare tue vare natea_

_Are vare tue rawe _

_Are vare tue ra_

_Are vare tue rawe akala_

_Are vare tue rawe akala ( aye ku aye)_

_Are vare tue rawe akala (aye ku aye)_

_Aye ku aye_

_Aye ku aye_

"Look at the Caridad, they complement each other perfectly. Even when Athrun doesn't know the dance, they still manage to portray the beauty of Japan." Haruma said as he gazed at the young teens dancing on the grass.

"I think Athrun will soon be joining Kira in the dance classes soon," his wife commented as she too watched the pair on the lawn."

"He'll take care of Kira," Haruma speculated "Our little boy will be safe in his hands."

_Yakama yamaya kayakaea (aye ku aye)_

_Yakama yamaya kayakaea (aye ku aye)_

_Yakama yamaya kayakaea (aye ku aye)_

_Yakama yamaya kayakaea (aye ku aye)_

_Yakama yamaya kayakaea (aye ku aye)_

_Yakama yamaya kayakaea (aye ku aye)_

_Yakalae (aye ku aye)_

_Yakalae (aye ku aye)_

Kira ended gazing up into what he thought would be the blueness of the sky. Instead, he found the emerald green eyes of Athrun Zala. For a heartbeat they remained that way, gazing into the other's eyes before Kira quickly shuffled out of the way, face bright red.

"When did you move?" he asked quickly, hoping to cover his embarrassment.

"Kira that was beautiful," Athrun replied sincerely, ignoring the previous question. "You move so gracefully; it's like watching poetry come to life. Let me be your partner."

"but...but...but..." Kira stuttered, not knowing how to respond.

"Please," Athrun pleaded, taking both of Kira's hands into his own "I'll even come to lessons with you, work double to learn the dance but please let me be your partner."

Seeing the desperation on Athrun's face was all it took for Kira to agree.

Athrun smiled "Thank you so much Kira, Thank you so much."

* * *

"...and one and two and hold. Well done, that's enough for today kids"

Athrun stretched out from his position above Kira and cracked his back. After three weeks of hard work, he'd finally gotten the male's part of Kira's routine and they were ready for their performance on Saturday. He took a sip from his water bottle before handing it to his exhausted friend.

"We're finally ready," the blunette said with a smile as Kira flopped onto the studio floor.

"Told you it's tough," the petite boy grumbled before sitting up again "Mama and Da and Auntie and Uncle will be proud though."

Athrun nodded affirmative before standing and offering a hand up to Kira "C'mon, let's change," he proposed as he dragged the smaller boy towards the change rooms "we've still got that project from school."

"Aw Athrun," Kira whined but followed all the same.

The next Saturday, they didn't have any classes as the sensei wanted them rested for the concert. The two friends were lying under the huge oak in the Yamato yard trying to ward off their growing nervousness. They were trying, and failing, to find shapes in the clouds.

"Athrun," came a quiet whisper from his left.

The nine-year old turned his to meet teary violet eyes. Athrun had to suppress a smile, Kira always cried so easily.

"Are you scared?" he asked gently, brushing the baby soft fringe away. Kira nodded and looked down in shame.

"Guess what," Athrun whispered back "I'm scared too." Bright eyes shot back up in shock.

* * *

_I guess we didn't need to be scared after all_ Athrun thought as he packed his things, almost ready for entry into ZAFT. _There are worse things in life that one can face._

He looked down at the item that caused his current nostalgia; a tiny kimono of the purest silk and most detailed embroidery. After the concert, he had once again complimented Kira on his beauty in a kimono. As anticipated, the brunette had blushed but smiled all the same.

It had been a shock when he had opened his bag, after his family's immigration to the PLANTS, and found the outfit on top of all his clothing. Kira had loved the kimono but knew that Athrun had loved him in it more.

_Should I take it with me, _he pondered as he fingered the delicate material _I don't want it to get damaged._

_But can I bear to be so distanced from Kira?_

The eleven-year old hesitated for a few more seconds before placing the garment into his bag. _I'll have to take good care of it, Kira entrusted it to me and I won't fail him like that._

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Athrun's visit to the infirmary and the doctors were confident that Kira could be released as long as he didn't attempt to walk at all, was in the care of another and promised to come by twice a day for a check up. So it was a happy couple that made its way to the Le Cruset team's common room, Athrun pushing Kira in his wheel chair.

"I know you can't be up for long Kira," Athrun chatted as they turned the final corner "but I wanted you to meet my team properly. I promise they'll be nice."

Kira smiled nervously, "I'm sure they are nice Athrun but..."

"But nothing," Athrun said firmly "you need more friends Kira, and I'm going to help you be more social."

The brunette said nothing, hoping that he wouldn't have a breakdown in front of Athrun and his friends. He still wasn't comfortable with the presence of other males just yet, encounter with Yzak not included.

Slim fingers punched in the code and soon, Kira was surrounded by the three familiar faces of the other Gundam pilots.

"Kira," Athrun began, "I'd like to introduce Dearka, Nicol and Yzak, my teammates. Guys, this is Kira Yamato, my childhood friend and fiancée."

Kira spun around in shock, careful to hide the pain it cause him "you told them!" he cried indignantly.

"Of course I told them," Athrun replied "I wouldn't have been able to rescue you otherwise."

"Right," Kira whispered, lowering his eyes.

Dearka squatted in from of the immobile boy, placing a comforting hand on his knee, "We have no problem with it, Kira. It actually clarified a few things for us." The other two nodded.

Kira had stiffened at the contact and was trying to remain calm. He gave Dearka a tight smile before turning his head to Athrun, "Can you please take me to Uncle Patrick's room? I'm feeling tired from the shots they gave me." He allowed himself a shudder and relaxed when it resulted in Dearka removing his hand as he chuckled lightly.

"Take the boy to his room Athrun," the dark-skinned teen said "we can meet later."

"Right,"

The two left, after promising to stop by again, not noticing the calculating glaze in Yzak's eyes.

* * *

"Hey Kira," Athrun asked softly after settling his friend in the spare bedroom of his dad's quarters. "Do you still dance?"

Kira closed his eyes tightly, memories of the last time he had danced floating up from the depths he had buried them in. He gave another full body shudder and flinched when he felt Athrun's hand on his shoulder.

"Kira," Athrun ventured concerned "what's wrong, are you okay?"

Kira smiled, hoping it would deter Athrun from asking anymore questions "I'm fine, just cold." Athrun gave him a disbelieving look "anyway, no I don't dance anymore. It wasn't as much fun without you."

"Why don't I believe that?" Athrun said sceptically

"Believe what you want," Kira said offhandedly as he turned his head away from the teen beside him "Night."

Athrun hesitated, wondering if he should push a little further. He decided against it, Kira would open up in his own time. He flicked the light switch off "Night Kira."

Once Athrun's footsteps had faded away, Kira allowed the tears to leak through. He wished that Athrun hadn't brought up his greatest sin; he wished Athrun hadn't brought up the reason for his parents' deaths.

* * *

**AN: **Okay, I'm not sure if the story flows correctly. It seems like it when I read it but then again I wrote the story. I still don't have a beta and spell check can only take you so far. If anyone would like to volunteer, pls send me a pm. Also, pls don't hesitate to tell me if there are any descrepancies within the story, I can only remember so much. In addition, I am aware that the lyrics might not be correct. I copied them from the sheet music I had but they might very well be wrong. Feel free to send me the correct lyrics and I'll gladly change them if it bugs you.

I would like to use this time to also give a slight warning. The next update might not until be the last week of November or early December. I am still very busy and frankly do not have the time to dedicate to writing anything substancial. If I do manage to update before then, it would be because of a sudden fit of inspiration; I am prone to them every so often. Sorry if it breaks the flow of the story but I can't help it.

Thanks for reading. Again the song used, which is Enya's Adiemus, will be inserted into the Mou Ichido Youtube playlist.


	5. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I'm back and have a lot of free time on my hands. The updates will be coming much faster now; since I really have nothing better to do and the muse is working overtime. Thank you to all the people who have reviewed so far and who have added me to their favourites. It is really touching that everybody likes the story. BTW, I am still in need of a beta, pls contact me if you're interested. Well, enough ramble; on with the story.

Disclaimer: Me no own. Even the song.

* * *

"_Kira, Kira come on, Miriallia's party is about to start and we're going to be late." Tolle called as he knocked on the door to Kira's house._

_He waited a few minutes before knocking again, more violently this time. He was about to ring the door bell when the door was yanked open violently and Kira's foster father glared at him._

"_What is your business with the boy and all that noise?" the man asked angrily_

_Tolle gulped; this was the first time he was meeting Kira's foster father and he immediately didn't like the man. "I'm Kira's friend; we're supposed to go to a party this evening."_

_The heavy set man glared at him before slamming the door in his face. Minutes later, a flustered Kira exited the house, locking it behind him._

"_Hey sorry about that, my dad was sleeping when you knocked." The brunette apologised. "Let's go, I need to be back by eleven."_

"_Aww Kira," the fifteen year old complained slinging an arm around his friend's shoulders "that's so early."_

_The young Yamato flinched violently and manoeuvred himself out from under Tolle's arm. "Yeah, my dad's not pleased to let me go out to begin with."_

_They were one block away from Miriallia's home when Tolle halted at the swings. "Hey let's have a go before going to Mir's."_

_Kira shrugged confused, "okay."_

_For a few minutes the two boys swung in silence before Tolle voiced what was on his mind._

"_Kira," the amethyst-eyed boy faced his friend "you trust me right?"_

"_Of course, what kind of question is that?" the coordinator replied._

_Tolle stopped swinging and gave the brunette a serious look "you'd tell me if anything was wrong wouldn't you; you'd allow me to help you."_

_Kira also stopped swinging and gave his friend a startled look. _'Does he know? Did he manage to figure out my secret?'_After searching Tolle's eyes, a small smile crept onto Kira's face._

"_Of course, if it was anything I thought I couldn't handle, I'd tell you immediately."_

"_You promise," Tolle pressed_

_Kira's smile grew "I promise."_

* * *

_A few hours after Kira's disappearance_

Miriallia tossed and turned on the narrow military style bed, worry for her friend making her restless. The brunette tossed her covers away; figuring sleep was useless after the events of the day.

*flashback*

"YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS APPAULING LIEUTENANT. NOW ZAFT HAVE THE COORDINATOR AND THE LAST GUNDAM SHIP!"

Mu bristled in anger "WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO, DIE?"

"I EXPECTED YOU TO FIGHT LIKE THE MAN YOU ARE LA FLAGA. THANKS TO YOUR IDIOCITY, WE ARE DEFENCELESS AND..."

*Slap*

Natarle lifted a hand to her stinging check while shooting Mu the most poisonous glare she could manage. The blonde lieutenant continued to glare at the black-haired woman, his arm still thrown out.

"Do not forget your rank _Ensign _Badgiruel." Mu hissed before stalking out of the control room.

*end flashback*

"Kira where are you?" she whispered before putting on her Earth Alliance uniform. She hated the thing but since their rescue from Heliopolis, they had been forced to aid in the running of the ship and the operation of the computers; damn Flay and her big mouth.

As she walked down the hallway she heard Sai and Tolle moving towards her, although they were still too far away to hear what they were discussing. She leaned against her door, waiting for the two to reach her.

"Hey Mir," Sai greeted when they rounded the corner, "couldn't sleep as well?"

The brown-haired girl pushed herself of the frame and began walking with the two, "yeah, I was too worried about Kira to be able to relax enough to sleep."

"Us too," Tolle said despondently "I mean, we all saw the condition in which he was sent out to fight. Who knows what happened to him out there."

The teens walked in silence until they neared the hanger.

"There's not much we can do now I guess," Sai whispered as they passed crew members who gave them a dirty look. "We'll just have to ensure that nothing happens to us as well. We don't want to mess up Kira's sacrifice."

They turned another corner as they thought about what had been done to their friend. Suddenly Tolle laughed, although it was a very bitter sound.

"You know," he said "when I woke up three days ago, all I had to worry about was submitting my final project and wondering how to combat Kira's anti-socialism. Now, Heliopolis is gone, our friend is missing and we're essentially being held captive on an Earth Alliance ship."

He turned and punched the wall "what did we do to deserve this. We didn't want to be part of this stupid war and yet we are."

Miriallia wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. He knew that Tolle and Kira were close friends and that the young coordinator's disappearance would be hard on him.

"Do you know what's worse?" the teary question came, "Kira never told us anything about what they did but I know that it was bad, bad enough for him to write again."

Sai started "you mean you found..."

Tolle rummaged in his pockets before pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper, "yeah, I found one of Kira's songs. It is so tragic, what he writes about. It makes me feel like a really bad friend. I mean I couldn't even help him with this."

The brunette slid down the wall and buried his head between his knees. Sai took the offered piece of paper from Tolle and sat down beside the distraught teen and his girlfriend. He started reading the piece out loud

_Where did my heart go?_

_When did it lose the way?_

_How did I let you slip away?_

_Why is it so hard to say the words that might touch you?_

_Make you believe that I'm more than it seems that I am today._

_I can run_

_But I can't hide all these dreams_

_That I keep inside _

_Now it's gonna take a while_

_But I've got to learn to smile_

_Again_

_Once it was easy _

_I never had to try_

_I never had to tell a lie_

_Never thought I'd see you cry_

_But now I know better_

_I've got to find a way_

_I don't want to hear you say goodbye_

_I can run_

_But I can't hide all these dreams_

_That I keep inside _

_Now it's gonna take a while_

_But I've got to learn to smile_

_Again_

* * *

_I've got to find the smile_

_That fills your heart with laughter_

_Don 't wanna find a way _

_To get along after you_

_I wanna be the man that you knew_

Kira laughed as Nicol finished recounting another story from Athrun's academy days. He enjoyed the company of the team but was still not comfortable enough with their casual touches. He winced as Dearka slung an arm around his shoulder. Seeing Athrun frown at his actions, he gave him a small smile to show that he was okay, anything to keep the blunette happy.

* * *

_Now it's gonna take a while_

_But I've got to learn to smile_

_Again_

Sai lowered and gently folded the page. The extent of what Kira had done for them suddenly dawned onto him and his feelings of guilt deepened. Miriallia's soft sobs and Tolle's attempts to comfort her confirmed the seriousness of their situation. They had been dragged into war, and it was going to destroy them.

* * *

A few hours later found them asleep where they had read Kira's song. Miriallia had her head buried in Tolle's chest, dried tear tracks on her face. Tolle had his arms wrapped around the petite girl, as if to shield her from the evils of the world while Sai leaned against the wall, brow furrowed even in sleep.

"Hey, what are you kids doing down here?" a stern, feminine voice roused them from their slumber.

"Urgh, where are we?" Tolle asked sleepily, rubbing his hands across his eyes.

The woman offered them a hand up, her orange technician's suit crinkling softly in the silence. "You're in the hanger, which by the way is restricted. How did you get down here?"

She surveyed their uniforms, "actually never mind. My name's Murrue Ramius and I'm responsibly for repairs on the ship."

"My name's Sai, and the others are Miriallia and Tolle. We're the civilian 'volunteers' if you want to call it that." The blonde boy replied, the one most awake of the group.

"Civilians," Murrue asked incredulously "in Earth Alliance uniform?"

Tolle rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the crick "yeah, the lieutenant and ensign think that we should earn our keep and assist with the running of the ship. We're all technology majors you see."

Murrue's eyes snapped up "the lieutenant is in charge of the ship?"

Tolle gave her a look "well yeah, the captain was apparently killed at Heliopolis so Lieutenant La Flaga is in charge as the most senior."

Guilt flashed in Murrue's expressive gaze before she masked it _'what is she hiding?'_ Sai thought guardedly

"Anyway," the older brunette said quickly "we've gotten off topic, what are you all doing down in the hanger?"

"We had been taking a walk and then I guess we just fell asleep. You see, with all the excitement, sleep was elusive." Miriallia explained before yawning.

Murrue turned, motioning them to follow her "Come, I know you're tired but I think it will be better to continue this conversation in my rooms."

Minutes later, the four were sipping tea in the technician's room discussing the recent events.

"If you don't mind me asking," Miriallia began as she set her mug on the coffee table "why is it that you don't seem to despise us as the rest of the crew? We are, after all, the friends of a coordinator."

Murrue stirred her tea, gazing into the murky liquid. "Well, unlike the rest of this ship's inhabitants, I don't have a problem with coordinators or the people they associate with. I'd be very hypocritical if I did, as my fiancé had been a coordinator himself."

Tolle frowned "had been?" Miriallia pinched his thigh "ouch Mir, that hurt."

"Yes," Murrue said quietly "he was killed early on in the war. He was a mobile armour pilot."

The teen gulped "I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

"Don't worry, it was a while ago." Murrue said with a small smile.

Soon, both Tolle and Miriallia were fast asleep again. Sai put his empty mug on the table, alerting Murrue to him.

"Ms Ramius," he began "you've been very hospitable and understanding but I just can't help but feel that there's something that you're hiding. I don't mean any disrespect but we've already lost one friend, I just want to make completely sure that you're not going to be a threat."

To his surprise, the brown-haired woman laughed, startling the other two awake. "You're very perceptive Sai and I commend you for wanting to protect your friends but I'm not going to be a threat to you or the others."

The light in her eyes dimmed and the guilt returned, "Yes I am hiding something but the question is if I can trust you to ensure that what I tell you remains a secret."

"Secret?" Tolle asked "Sai what's going on?"

"When we were talking about the captain of the ship earlier, I sensed that there was something that Ms Ramius was keeping from us. I'm just being cautious, after all we're really not that well liked." Sai explained.

Miriallia bristled angrily "Sai, how could you? Ms Ramius has been very hospitable, especially as we've invaded her rooms. I mean..."

Murrue held up her hand, pausing Miriallia's rant, "No Miriallia, your friend is right in being cautious; after all these are very difficult times." She sighed wearily "and he has every reason to be distrustful as I haven't been completely honest with you."

"You lied to us!" Tolle exclaimed

"No, not anything like that," Murrue quickly defended "it's just that I didn't correct you about what happened to the captain of the Archangel."

"So what, are you going to tell us that the captain is actually alive?" Tolle joked with a grin

"That and I am the Archangel's captain." Murrue said sitting heavily on her bed.

* * *

Flay Allster was sitting in the observatory watching the black space. Her mind kept drifting back to her friends, whom she was sure hated her now for ratting Kira out as a coordinator, not that the Earth Alliance would not have figured it out after the way he had handled the Strike mobile suit in Heliopolis, and Kira. She had not been drafted into helping out with the ship because she wasn't a technology major like the others. Still, she did what she could to keep the other civilians calm, especially the children.

'_I'm so sorry Kira," _she thought as a lone tear made its way down her cheek _'this was not supposed to happen'_

"Well, well what do we have here, a little civilian girl who is out of bounds," a voice drawled from behind her.

The red head turned to face Mu, who was blocking the doorway, and her only escape route.

"I...I'm sorry... I didn't know out was out of bounds." She stuttered nervously. She did not like the way the man was looking at her or the vibes she was getting from him.

"It's not a problem," Mu continued with a smirk "Just make sure it doesn't happen again, okay sweetheart?"

"O...Okay," she said backing away from the blonde. "I'll just go back to my room now."

"Not so fast, what's the rush? After all I just got here. Come sit, let's talk a little bit."

Reluctantly Flay sat back down, maintaining some distance between the two of them.

Mu laughed "there's no reason to be nervous. I don't bite... much"

Flay shivered, she really needed to get away from this psycho.

The lieutenant leaned against the observatory window, "you're part of that group who are friends with the coordinator aren't you? Do you have any idea if there are others like him that he could run off to?"

"Uh... what do you..."

"Come on sweetheart," Mu prompted, sitting back up "does the coordinator have anyone to go to on one of the PLANTs, or is he secretly a member of ZAFT?"

Flay shivered again as cold, blue eyes were trained on her "no...no...Kira's not..."

She screamed as Mu lunged forward and trapped her between the wall, her hands and torso pinned by the man's muscular arms.

"Liar," he hissed "don't you know that all coordinators are part of ZAFT; that they are all just waiting for a chance to destroy us naturals. Don't you!"

He pressed harder and the red-head had to stifle a whimper of pain "I don't know anything, please let me go; you're hurting me."

"Just remember this," the lieutenant said as he let go, allowing Flay to slide down the wall "there's no longer any one around to protect you; I'd be careful."

When she was sure he had left, Flay allowed her tears to fall as she massaged her bruised wrists. They were in serious danger and it was all her fault.

* * *

"You're the captain; you're the captain of this GODFORSAKEN SHIP!" Tolle screamed in disbelief.

Murrue quickly stood and put her hand over his mouth "Be quiet, I don't want anyone to know."

Tolle angrily stepped away "why aren't you taking control, why did you let them use Kira like that?"

"What would you have me do," Murrue replied bitterly "go up to them and say 'hey I'm the captain, I didn't die at Heliopolis but I don't agree with what the EA are doing.' I'd be killed on the spot."

"So you'd rather sacrifice a teenager instead." The brunette said spitefully. Murrue flinched violently.

"I...I..." she stuttered

"Forget it. I'm going back to my room." Tolle said before running out.

Miriallia snapped out of her stupor and quickly followed him.

Sai placed a comforting hand on the distraught woman's shoulder "Don't mind Tolle Ms Ramius, he's taken Kira's disappearance really hard because he was closest to him."

Murrue sat heavily on the bed once again "he's right though. Because of my cowardice, an innocent has been used and hurt and lost and god knows what else."

Sai gave her shoulder a squeeze before moving towards the door "Don't worry Ms Ramius, it will all work out."

Desperate brown eyes locked with his "Am I doing the right thing Sai?"

The teen gave her a small smile "That's not for me to decide."

* * *

Miriallia ran down the hall in search of her wayward boyfriend but the lack of sleep caught up with her and she slowed down to a brisk walk. She could understand the hurt Tolle was experiencing; Murrue was the captain of the ship and yet she let Lieutenant La Flaga and Ensign Badgiruel run the show and destroy their lives. _'Maybe if she were in charge, Kira would still be with us' _she thought bitterly as she paused outside the observatory.

She sighed before heading back to her room. As she opened the door, she heard stifled sobs.

"Tolle?" she called out into the darkness.

"No, your boyfriend isn't here." Flay's voice called back to her.

Miriallia quickly flipped the switch on, illuminating the room in the artificial light. "Flay, what happened?" she cried in surprise, rushing to the distraught girl's side "oh my god, who did this?" she asked looking at the large bruises on the pale skin.

Flay continued crying as the taller girl treated her arms and gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

When she had gotten a hold of her emotions, Flay looked up in order to tell her friend what she had experienced.

"We're in so much trouble Mir," she whispered "these people are going to hurt us and there's nothing we can do to stop it."

* * *

Well that's it for now. More from Kira and Athrun in the next chapter. Update by next week Wednesday at the latest. Thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: Hello all. I believe an apology is in order as this was not up on Wednesday as I had promised. Stuff came up, such as my laptop being commandeered by the technicians, and the story took a backseat. The new chapter is up now and I hope that it meets expectations. I am still looking for a beta for this story as sometimes there are mistakes that I don't pick up. If anyone's interested, please pm or review, thanks. Oh and before I forget, Mou Ichido has a livejournal! That's right, now you too can keep up with the latest news in the writing process. Translations of stuff will be put up there from now on although I will put links to my sources on my profile. It's just easier for me. Also, I'll put all the chapters on there so far and who knows what else. Please check it out, linked as my homepage. It's easier than changing my profile half the time.**

**Now reviews. I've gotten a bit behind in my replies, sorry *sheepish grin***

**shebajay: No you're not really supposed to feel sorry for Flay. She's just an instrument in enhancing the evilness of Mu. Thanks for the really nice review; I'm glad that I seem to be getting this right.**

**nequam-tenshi: That would be telling now wouldn't it ;-) Thanks for reviewing.**

**Silvermane1: Thank you, I do try.**

**dragonfire04: Glad you liked the chapter. Here's an update for you.**

**abandoned-angel-of-fire: *bows* Thank you, thank you. Mu is one of the characters I had the most reservatons about, Murrue being the major one. Enjoy the rest of the story.**

**foxykitsuneyouko: Glad you're enjoying the story. Have an update :-)**

**Serenityhimesheppard: Thank you for the really nice compliment. Good to know the story's not boring. Enjoy the next chapter.**

**Yay, 40 reviews; this isn't doing so badly. If I reach 50 then I'll write a side story just to celebrate!**

_Disclaimer: Is this really necessary every time I update? I still don't own it. Or Field of Innocence. Or River._

* * *

"_Happy birthday Kira!" Athrun shouted as he burst into the now eleven year old boy's room."Oba-san says that you need to wake up now because we're going to be leaving soon."_

_The brunette turned from where he was looking out of the window "Hiya Athrun, I've been awake for a while. I woke up with a poem in my head and just had to write it down.'_

_Athrun's eyes widened in surprise "Another; can I also see this one?_

_Kira shrugged, "Sure it's on my desk."_

_Walking up to the slightly messy desk, Athrun sorted through a few papers before he saw the poem, written in Kira's feminine writing. "Kira, your writing is still as girly as ever." He teased lightly before reading._

After all the blood, sweat and tears it came down to this

Years of preparation and it came down to this,

My final moments, the curtain call

It came down to this

And then I heard it; the low primal cry

And then I saw it with a wandering eye

And then I felt it, the slash at my side

And then...

All my frustrations and this was the moment

All my losses for this one, final moment

My mentor, my friends looked on at the moment

Our chance for freedom, our chance for peace

And then it hit me; the purpose of my life

And then he saw it; my determined light

And then we felt it; the numbness of death

And then...

"_Whoa Kira, that's pretty morbid, but still so beautiful." The blunette said as he placed the page down. "It's almost like a song."_

"_I thought so too," the smaller boy replied walking towards Athrun. "Who knows, maybe one day I'll be a famous singer."_

_They laughed "Come on," Athrun said as he pulled Kira towards the door, "We need to leave now if we want to be back for school on Monday. The PLANTS are pretty far."_

"_By the way," Kira started as he grabbed his coat, "what did my parents get me." This was customary for them, not that the parents ever caught on._

"_A really neat guitar." Athrun replied still tugging his friend towards the door "You're going to be a rock star"_

_Kira laughed again before the two raced down the stairs._

* * *

Kira paused his writing as tremors once again overcome his body. Placing his pencil down to ensure that he didn't ruin his work, he waited for the shaking to stop.

This was the fifth time this had happened to him and each time the attack was more violent, though the duration remained the same. He figured it was still an after effect of the paracetamol fiasco and dismissed it.

As the shaking subsided, Kira wheeled himself over to the door one his new room. He had promised to visit his Uncle Patrick after all.

* * *

"Hey guys, where's Athrun?" Kira asked softly as he entered the common room. Over the past two weeks, he had gotten more comfortable with the Le Cruset team although he would never want to be alone with any of them.

Dearka looked up from his magazine "Hey Kira, Athrun's gone scouting with Nicol to ensure that we aren't being pursued by the legged ship, what with us being so close to the PLANTS and all. He also said that I should remind you about your doctor's appointment today and that he'll try and be back soon."

Kira felt his face heat up from the leer in Dearka's voice before the reality of his situation sunk in. "Okay," he said weakly, trying to will the blood back into his face "do you know when he'll be back?"

The blonde teen shrugged, "probably in a few hours."

"Do you need any help?" Yzak spoke suddenly from where he had been watching the petit brunette. It occurred to him that there was probably a practical reason he was looking for their team leader.

The wheelchair bound boy blushed, glad that he could hide his unease "kinda, I need to get to my Uncle's room."

Sighing, irritated, the hot-headed blonde got up from the sofa and walked over "let's go then,"

Amethyst eyes widened as the panic returned "N...No that's okay; I'll manage on my own." Being alone with the white-headed pilot scared Kira in more ways than he could understand.

"Nonsense," Yzak replied nonchalantly as he opened the door and began pushing Kira out "you'll get lost by yourself."

Defeated the smaller boy hung his head while trying to control his emotions so not to have a breakdown. 'Get a hold of yourself Yamato,' Kira scolded himself 'you're safe here; nothing's going to...'

"Hey where are we going?" Kira cried out in panic as they turned a different corner.

Yzak frowned at the panic and tension emitting from Athrun's Kira "relax; there's something that I need to deliver to the chairman. Since I'm going to him anyway, I might as well give it to him now."

His explanation, which he hoped would calm Kira, had the opposite effect.

"We're going to your room?" Kira whispered his knuckles white on the armrest.

Yzak stopped as he noticed Kira's shallow breathing. He knelt in front of the petrified boy.

"Hey, hey" he prompted "calm down and take nice, deep breaths. Yeah just like that. I'm not going to hurt you."

The blonde placed a comforting hand on Kira's arm but the brunette flinched violently. Frowning again, the Aegis pilot lifted Kira's chin, ignoring how the petite boy shied away from his touch, until teary amethyst met concerned blue.

"Remember what I told you in the hospital wing? I want you to trust me, and anyone else on this ship, and allow us to help you Kira," The teen said softly "would it be better if I take you straight to the chairman?"

Kira nodded feebly and the two turned around and made their way to Patrick's rooms.

* * *

"Hello you two; I was wondering if you'd gotten lost Kira," Patrick greeted as he ushered them inside "I was about to come find you."

The ZAFT leader took in Kira's pale face and Yzak's deep frown and immediately knew that something had happened on the way over.

"Hi Uncle Patrick, do you have any cookies by any chance?" Kira asked as he wheeled himself towards the kitchen.

"On the counter Kiki, I'll be there in a minute." Patrick called back "what happened" he asked under his breath.

"Not here chairman, I'll explain when I return with the documents my mother sent," the young Joule replied just as softly.

"I'll come with you." Patrick said "Kira," he called louder

A wave of the hand was his answer

"I'm going with Mr Joule to fetch a document that I need. Will you be okay for a few minutes?"

"Sure, go ahead Uncle Pat," came the guilty sounding reply.

After making sure that the door was completely closed, the two set off back down the hallway.

"Kira had a panic attack on the way to your room chairman," Yzak began once they were alone "I had taken a detour in order to fetch the papers and he completely panicked." The younger man paused for a few minutes "he's been hurt very badly over a long period of time from what I can tell and doesn't trust anyone to help him. It's heartbreaking to see, Carmen wasn't this bad."

Patrick took a moment to process what he was hearing. His son's sweet, trusting fiancé had been badly abused. Someone had dared to tarnish Caridad and Haruma's innocent, pure child and he hadn't been there to stop it.

Rage filled his being before Patrick sighed dejectedly; there was nothing he could do now except be strong for Kira and help him through this. He vowed though, that he would never let this happen ever again.

"What do you think I should do Mr Joule?" he asked wearily.

The young pilot gave him a sympathetic glance "I can't tell you that Chairman Zala but what that boy needs is to heal and trust again. It's not my place to tell you how to do that."

They stopped outside the bedroom door, "let me just bring the document so that you can get back to Kira," the teen said before disappearing and returning with the pages.

* * *

When Patrick returned to his rooms, Kira was curled up on the sofa, singing softly to his Birdie. The metal bird cocked its head to the side, appearing to be paying absolute attention to the sound coming from the brunette. The chairman leaned against the door jam, listening to the beautifully haunting song.

_I still remember the world from the eyes of a child_

_Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now._

_Where has my heart gone?_

_An uneven trade for the real world_

_Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything_

_And knowing nothing at all_

"Kiki," Patrick called softly breaking the teen's concentration.

The amethyst-eyed boy looked up quickly before smiled. A smile- Patrick noticed-that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"That was really nice, I didn't interrupt a recording did I?" he continued as he made his way towards the teen.

Brown locks flew as Kira shook his head "no Uncle Patrick, I've had this written down for a few years now. It's just..." Kira paused, catching himself "never mind."

Patrick sat at the opposite end of the sofa, ignoring how Kira shifted to ensure that there was more space between them. The elder Zala sighed "Yzak told me what happened on the way over. DO you want to talk about it?"

Kira shook his head, staring at the rug.

Patrick sighed again, knowing that this was going to be very difficult, "was it the first time this sort of thing ever happened?"

Unfortunately Kira shook his head again.

"Can you tell me when it first happened?"

For a while Kira just sat, contemplating whether he could divulge that much information. Slowly, he nodded, "a few months after Mama and Papa were killed." He whispered as he closed his eyes against the memories that were coming forth.

Patrick gathered the shivering boy into his lap and slowly began to rock him. Kira stiffened but then slowly relaxed into the strong embrace. The two sat in silence before a knock on the door interrupted them.

Patrick chuckled softly "sometimes I think that it wasn't such a good idea to come aboard. There's never time to just sit."

Kira smiled and slid back onto the sofa.

Nicol smiled when he saw Kira on the sofa behind the chairman. "Evening sir, we were about to start with our game night and were wondering if Kira would like to join us, if that's alright with you?"

Patrick nodded before turning to the brunette, "would you like to play some games Kira? It'll give you something to do instead of entertaining me."

"I don't mind staying with you, Uncle Patrick," Kira said quickly not wanting to hurt the older man's feelings.

"Nonsense," Patrick reassured "go play and we'll visit again tomorrow."

Seeing Kira's hesitant look, he understood immediately what the problem was "come," he said motioning for Kira to get into his wheelchair "let's go see what they are playing. If you still don't feel like playing, we'll come back."

Kira brightened and allowed Patrick to wheel him out to the games room.

* * *

In the end, Kira decided that he would remain with the other mobile suit pilots, who were playing a round of galactic Uno when Patrick and Kira had arrived. Patrick had smiled when Athrun had gotten up, given Kira a warm hug, the only thing he was comfortable doing with the other boy, and had taken him over to the game table. Of course Kira had blushed in embarrassment but that had made the scene that much cuter.

Currently, Kira and Athrun were on the sofa while Nicol had commandeered the armchair and Yzak and Dearka hogged the virtual reality game.

"You know, it's a wonder that anyone else ever gets to play with the way those two attach themselves to that game," Nicol commented as their friends restarted their game for what appeared to be the millionth time.

"Don't worry," Athrun reassured as he put his jacket on the dozing Kira "the commander will sort them out when he comes. In fact, I bet he'll be here in less than a minute."

Nicol kept quiet, knowing that betting with Athrun was a guaranteed way to lose.

Indeed, 50 seconds after Athrun spoke, the doors opened and Le Cruset entered the games room. The two unoccupied pilots stood at attention.

"At ease soldiers; I've told you that that is unnecessary during games night." the blonde said with a laugh.

"I see you're completely healed commander," Nicol noted conversationally as he took in Le Cruset's lack of a facial mask.

"Yeah," the tall man said sitting in Dearka's vacant seat "the doctors say that I'll be able to operate without it on indoors but they recommend that I keep it outdoors until the skin is stronger."

The mobile suit pilots made themselves comfortable again and Athrun glanced at the semi-awake Kira. His fiancé looked the most relaxed he'd ever seen him especially since there was now an extra person in the room.

A thought occurred to the blunette "Commander, you haven't met Kira yet have you?"

Rau scratched his chin in thought "No I don't think I have. No, not since you brought him in."

Athrun grinned "we definitely need to change that." He leaned closer to the snoozing brunette "Kira are you asleep?"

"Hmm," came the sleepy reply "no."

Athrun shook his head, chuckling a bit "come on sleepy head, there's someone I want you to meet."

Some grumbling later and Kira sat up stretching, "I'm up, I'm up."

Athrun ruffled Kira's hair, pleased that while Kira stiffened, he hadn't shied away. "I know. Now Kira I'd like you to meet my commander Rau Le Cruset, Commander this is my fiancé Kira Yamato."

Kira turned to face the stranger and stilled immediately. His breath caught in his throat and he could feel himself beginning to panic. 'No, not here. I was supposed to be safe'

Rau stood and extended his hand "nice to meet you Kira. It's nice to know who the thief of my pilot's heart is."

Kira backed into the sofa, a whimper escaping his lips. Memories were beginning to overwhelm him and he wrapped his arms around his legs. Le Cruset and Athrun frowned, perplexed by Kira's behaviour.

"HA TAKE THAT YZAK!" Dearka suddenly shouted as he removed the VR helmet. Kira exploded into action.

"Please, don't hurt me; not any more please," he cried as he tried to put as much distance between himself and the ZAFT commander.

Athrun rushed from the sofa over to the trembling boy "Kira, what's wrong? Commander Le Cruset's not going to hurt you."

"Please lieutenant La Flaga; let me and my friends go. We never meant to be in the warehouse." Kira continued, still scrambling away from the blonde.

Understanding dawned on all the gathered faces.

"Do you think..." Nicol started

"I have no doubt," Rau continued. "La Flaga is nothing if not ruthless and would not stop at abusing an innocent boy, just because he is a coordinator." He sighed "I think it's best if I leave. And Athrun," the blunette looked up from trying to calm his distraught love. "Tell Kira that he has nothing to fear from me."

"I will do so Commander," Athrun replied. "See you later in the Brig."

Rau nodded before leaving to go speak with the other commanding officers. The teens stilled when they heard a bang and some angry curses from the hallway.

Kira continued crying and pleading for his attacker to stop. Athrun moved to gather him into his arms but he was stopped by Yzak's hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch him," the white-haired pilot warned "he'll panic."

The blunette nodded in understanding and slowly began coaxing Kia out of his flashback.

Slowly Kira's eyes began to clear and, after Yzak's nod of approval, Athrun gathered the smaller teen in a tight embrace. Slowly he stood them both up, him carrying most of Kira's weight so that more damage was not caused to the injured back.

"Athrun," came the small voice from his chest

"You're safe Kiki. No one's here to hurt you." Athrun soothed.

"I want to go home," Kira cried burying his face in the strong chest before him.

The youngest Zala lifted the other teen up until he was carrying Kira bridal style and left the room after a parting nod to his companions.

* * *

Kira was silent as Athrun helped him into bed and sat beside him. He cursed himself for acting the way he had, for showing weakness. He could deal with this, he had before.

"What's going on with you Kira," Athrun asked interrupting the quickly darkening thoughts "why won't you confide in me?"

Kira pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. Could he tell Athrun about the pain he had lived with for the years that the other boy had left? Could he tell him about the beatings and the rapes? Could he allow himself to be that vulnerable?

Amethyst eyes met pleading green and he knew that Athrun was willing to be there for him like before, was willing to be his confident. But his stories would break him, taint him and Kira didn't want anyone to become as tainted as he was.

"I can't." He whispered. "Not yet."

Athrun gave Kira's shoulder a squeeze, understanding that the brunette still needed to work through some issues by himself "I'll be here whenever you need to talk but please don't shut me out Kira. Promise me that you'll seek me out, please."

Kira gave a soft smile, "I promise," he said meaning every word. He could trust Athrun; he just needed to trust himself to allow him in.

Athrun gave another squeeze before giving Kira some privacy.

Kira let his eyes roam around his room before he reached out for his guitar. He sat back into the mountain of pillows before strumming the opening chords. Music helped him clear his mind and he hoped that singing would help him make a decision now.

_Nani mo ka mo umaku yukanai modokashisa ni_

_Aseru kimochi wo osaete_

_Hagayusa to iradatashisa ni kokoro midare_

_Kakaekonda hiza kozou_

_Kuyashisa wo koraete namida ni furuete_

_Naita yoru ga akeru_

_Sou _

_Tashika ni kimi no iu toori da yo_

_Ima nara hikikaeseru keredomo_

_Tsumaranai iji wo haritsuduketeru_

_Arukihajimeta ijou akiramenai_

_Mou ichido kono te ni chansu wo..._

* * *

_AN: And there we go. Songs are Field of Innocence by Evanescence and River by Tatsuya Ishii. Both will be put into the youtube playlist. About the previous chapter: I can't find the james ingram song as a video so I have to make my own. Please be patient, it will be up as soon as I make it._

_Just as a side note: does anyone find the playlist helpful? It would be interesting to know if I'm not wasting my time in making it. _

_Until next time._


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Finally the new chapter of Mou Ichido is done, and we're a quarter of the way through the story! It has been a struggle; what with writer's block haing been my closest friend for months and life being very good friends with writer's block. I was estatic to see that the story has reached 50 reviews! Celebration time. I will be posting the side story I had promised as soon as I'm done and it has been BETAed. Which brings me to the next bit of exciting news. Mou Ichido has a BETA! Thanks to nequam-tenshi who volunteered to BETA for me and speedily returned the chapter for your enjoyment.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, even if I didn't answer you all individually. *sheepish grin* I kinda lost track on which ones I'd replied to again. But I really appreciate all of them, even if they just say "great story, update soon" or something similar. It keeps me motivated to keep writing.**

**Now, enough rambling; on with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I'm working building one of my own but at the current moment I do not own a Gundam or Gundam SEED. Or the Evanescence song Field of Innocence, which I've finally used in its entirety.**

**Warnings: Kira's flashback is a bit more mature than what I've written so far...I think. If you're a bit sensitive to that, please don't hesitate to skip the italic bits.**

**BETAed by nequam-tenshi**

* * *

Kira stayed in his room for three days after the incident with Le Cruset, contemplating whether to confide in Athrun or not. The blunette allowed the smaller boy his space knowing that Kira would come to him when he was ready.

A few hours before they were due to arrive on the PLANTS found Kira reluctantly leaving the sanctity of his room for his first physical therapy session. Both Patrick and Athrun were present and the elder Zala gave him an encouraging smile.

"Alright Kira," the doctor started as he retrieved a manila folder from the desk, "A quick check up and then we'll go through some simple exercises okay?"

Athrun stepped forward and helped his petit fianceé onto the bed. Kira shivered but otherwise didn't reject the touch. The blunette smiles, taking as a sign that Kira was beginning to trust them a little.

The check up proceeded quickly with the doctor checking on the healing muscle and tissue.

"Well that's it for the check up," Doctor Lebellio said as he removed his gloves and made a few notes on the page in front of him. "There appears to be nothing wrong unless you've noticed something Mr. Yamato?"

The brunette fiddled with the edge of the blanket he was sitting on. "Well, I've been having these tremors that start affecting my hands and proceed to a full body shiver sort of thing. They've been getting stronger but they don't come very often, anymore."

The doctor nodded with a small frown before noting it in Kira's file, "It sounds as if there has been some nerve damage and I would rather you see a specialist first rather than I try and give prescribe something to you." He gave a card to Patrick "This is the best neurologist on PLANTS. I suggest making an appointment with her soon. It might be nothing but then again it might be something."

He then gave them a grin. "Up you go Mr Yamato. We'll see how well you can walk and move on from there."

* * *

Dearka and Nicol looked up from their discussion as the automatic doors opened and admitted a pensive Yzak. The two continued staring at the blonde as he took a seat in front of the fireplace.

"Yzak," Nicol ventured cautiously "Are you okay?"

The platinum blonde made no move to indicate that he'd heard the green haired boy. He merely continued staring into the flames warming the room.

Dearka leaned over and snapped his fingers in front of the unfocused blue eyes of his friend, hoping that would garner him a reaction. Unfortunately, it wasn't the one he'd been hoping for.

"Oww, oww uncle, uncle." Dearka whimpered as Yzak crushed his fingers.

"Don't ever do that again," Yzak growled as he released the bruised appendages.

"Sure, okay," the dark skinned boy agreed. "We just wanted to know what's up."

Yzak turned to face them, "We'll be reaching the PLANTS in eight hours," he said tonelessly.

His companions immediately became animated, "Really, you're not kidding us Yzak, we're so close to home?" Dearka exclaimed.

Yzak gave him a look.

"Man I cannot believe we're going to be home after such a long time." Nicol interrupted before a fight broke out, "I can finally practice on a decent piano."

"Maybe there will be a wedding during our time off," Dearka joked before making kissy faces.

Nicol laughed lightly while Yzak gave his friend a disdainful look. They all turned when the doors opened, expecting their commander.

"Tough session?" Nicol asked as Athrun finished inching his way into the room and laid the sleeping Kira on the sofa before dropping a pair of crutches next to Dearka's head.

"Yeah," the blunette sighed before taking the other side of Kira. "The doc's decided he need to use crutches to strengthen his muscles again. And he has to see a neurologist when we get back as there seems to be some nerve damage."

CRASH!

The three members of the Le Crusade team jumped at the sound. Yzak stalked out the door, pieces of ceramic crunching under his feet.

Dearka stood, "Crap, I'll go see what's wrong."

The stunned two nodded and the blond hurried after his livid friend.

Yzak wasn't sure why he was getting worked up about someone he barely knew but he needed to get away from the others as fast as possible before he did or said something he would regret.

"Yzak! Hey Yzak wait!" he heard Dearka call from behind but still he didn't slow his frantic pace. He had to get away.

Dearka panted as he watched the ill-tempered pilot round he corner and disappear from sight. 'What's up with him?' he puzzled as he began running after his friend once more.

* * *

Athrun smiled as Kira let out a small sigh and burrowed deeper into his covers. Normally, the blunette would have left his friend to sleep peacefully but after the draining physio session his dad had asked him to wait until Kira woke; just to ensure that he wouldn't be in pain after the long session. In conjunction, something deep within him had been urging him to stay.

Athrun had agreed. After many years he would finally be able to watch Kira sleep which, he had to admit, was more entertaining than anything he could do instead. Kira had never been able to sleep in the same position twice. It had puzzled and amused Athrun that his fianceé never ever repeated the same sleeping position, not that Kira moved much to begin with.

After settling himself in the visitor's chair, Athrun relaxed as the presence of the one he loved dearly soothed him into a restful sleep.

* * *

_Kira whimpered as his foster father dragged him further and further into the dingy bar. The grip the man had on his arm was painful and sure to bruise the next day. _

_Finally, they stopped in front of a badly painted door, the faded name plate indicating that it was the manager's office. A swift rap on the door brought forth the ugliest, meanest looking man the young coordinator had ever seen._

"_Brought another one for you Kay; a coordinator whom Kate adopted a few years back." Jamal slurred pushing Kira in front of him. _

_The man, Kay, ran his watery eyes over the brunette's shivering form. Rough hands grabbed Kira's face, turning it side to side. _

"_This one's extremely pretty Jamal. He'll bring in a lot of money. But first, I need to test him out before you get the cash."_

_Jamal pushed Kira into the dingy office once more before closing the door behind him. Kay circled the frightened preteen, feeling his arousal growing as the teary violet eyes followed his every move._

"_Strip him." Came the short order as the brothel boss sat himself on his office chair. _

_Kira scrambled away as Jamal approached him, a predatory gleam in his eyes. He knew nothing good was going to happen to him if Jamal managed to strip him of his clothes. His foster father, however, was faster and managed to catch Kira by his hair, causing the brunette to cry out in pain. A sharp slap later and Kira was holding his stinging cheek, standing in front of Jamal. _

"_Strip coordinator or worse things than a slap will befall you." The man growled angrily._

_Kay leaned forward, exhaling the smoke from his cigar "Now, now Jamal, he's feisty; I like that in toys. Then again, we are wasting time, bring him to me."_

_Before he knew it, Kira was seated in the greasy man's lap, frozen as rough hands wandered over his body. "You've been a naughty boy coordinator and now you have to be punished. But before we begin what's your name pretty doll?" Kay whispered into the frightened boy's ear as his hands roamed lower down the boy's body._

_Kira remained silent, hoping Kay would take his reluctance to speak as an indication of his fear. The hands stopped and roughly pinched his nipples through his t-shirt causing Kira to cry out once more. _

"_ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!" Kay roared as he continued manhandling Kira. _

_The brunette sobbed, lowering his head. "Kira Yamato." he whispered._

_Kay leaned back again, patting Kira on the head like a pet. "Good, now that wasn't so hard was it. We're going to have lots of fun Kira, just you wait and see. Now no more resistance and no one gets hurt okay baby doll," the man crooned before turning to Kira's foster father "Strip him Jamal and we'll see how well this one responds."_

_Later that night, Kira lay on his stained bed sobbing and trying to keep as still as possible so as to not aggravate his wounds. He couldn't recall much from after Jamal stripped him but the pain he felt was evidence enough to the torture the two men had put him through. The worst part though was the way Kay had pet his head after emptying himself and told him that he'd definitely become popular with the customers. Kira knew then that his fate had been sealed and there was nothing he could do about it. _

_Turning his head from the damp pillow case, the teen spotted his guitar resting next to his study desk which held a picture of his and the Zala family at an amusement park. He and Athrun were in the middle, grinning widely as the blunette gave him a sideways hug. Seeing the happy picture, and Torii, who had landed next to the framed memory, caused an intense sadness to well up within Kira. He turned away from the reminder of his once happy childhood to look at the barely visible moon, his tears glistening in the meagre light as his words were carried up to the heavens._

I still remember the world from the eyes of a child

Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone?

An uneven trade for the real world

Oh I, I want to go back to

Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun always warm on my back

Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone?

Trapped in the eyes of a stranger

Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything

Where has my heart gone?

An uneven trade for the real world

Oh I, I want to go back to

Believing in everything

Oh where, where has my heart gone?

Trapped in the eyes of a stranger

Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything

I still remember...

_Violet eyes closed as his body finally drained of energy. As he settled in for a night of nightmares, Kira breathed out the name of the one who would have saved him._

"_Athrun," _

_...he would never forget the one whom he had loved._

_

* * *

_

A rustling of the sheet woke Athrun from his slumber. The blue-haired teen stretched lightly before glancing over at his petite friend, thinking Kira was in pain. The sweat matting the brown hair down and the look of panic on the youthful face made Athrun forgo keeping his distance in favour of pulling the brunette from his nightmare.

"Kira," he called out softly, gathering the shivering body into his arms, "Kira, wake up; it's only a dream."

Kira stiffened at the contact and cried out in fright.

"Shh," Athrun soothed. "It's alright. It's only me, Athrun."

"Athrun."

The blunette smiled, "Yes, I'm right here, come on koishii, open your eyes for me."

Kira struggled a bit more before shooting upright with a gasp, violet eyes wide with fright. Athrun restored the lost contact, his heart breaking when Kira whimpered as he felt arms tightening around him.

The Aegis pilot remained silent as he waited for Kira's shivers to subside, whispering words of comfort to the frightened boy.

Once Kira calmed down enough to realise he wasn't in any more danger, he broke down into heart retching sobs.

"Athrun," he sobbed over and over while the teen held him tightly.

"I'm here Kira, I'm here" Athrun reassured, hating the way that Kira was being torn up "I'll never leave you again."

"Athrun, he...he..." Kira continued to sob as the memory replayed over.

"Talk to me Kiki, let me help you," Athrun urged softly, still rocking the distraught boy.

One look into the familiar emerald green eyes, filled with sadness for him and his suffering, were all Kira needed to finally make up his mind. He buried his head in the crook of his protector's neck and talked.

* * *

Yzak curled deeper into his covers when he heard Dearka knock on their closed door. He knew it wasn't fair on him since they did share the room but the platinum blond needed some time to himself. He couldn't understand why Athrun's Kira was affecting him so much. Indeed the younger boy was bringing back memories that he would rather forget but he usually had a better control over his emotions than his current state.

Sighing and turning away from the wall, ice blue eyes found the calendar that hung above his teammate's bed. They would be on Decembrius for the anniversary. Maybe it was time he made another visit.

* * *

"Now that the final mobile suit has been captured, our team will be based on Decembrius as a protection team. This allows for you to have time off while staying on call at all times. I must congratulate you on your outstanding efforts; you truly have been the best that the ZAFT academy had to offer. If there are no questions, then you are dismissed." Le Crusade debriefed his team the next morning. Once again, the blonde was without the mask, making him less intimidating and more animated.

Athrun raised his hand, "Sir, what will be done against Kira? He did kill two coordinators on Heliopolois and resisted relinquishing the Strike." Truth be told, Athrun though his fiancé had suffered enough but he knew the rules and didn't want any surprises while Kira was still recovering. He had carefully snuck away this morning after leaving a note and hoped that the brunette would still be asleep when he got back.

Rau ran his hand through his hair, "I doubt any charges will be brought up against him as he was from a neutral country and has obviously been forced into battle. The board might decide to file a case against the Earth Alliances for the crimes against him or at least inform ORB and have them take the necessary action. For now, I think just relax and help him heal. The Chairman will keep you informed. Anything else?"

Dearka raised his hand "When do we arrive?"

"In two hours Dearka," Nicol sighed, this question having already being raised.

"Okay," the dark skinned boy said with a smile "When do we have Kira's welcome party?"

* * *

Athrun gingerly opened the door to see Kira still fast asleep. He gave a soft smile before he remembered their late night conversation. The details of what Kira had gone through had horrified him and his heart had gone out more to the sobbing boy. He had been glad that Kira trusted him enough to divulge a piece of his past, however small it might have been. The blunette knew that he would have to be Kira's pillar of strength in order to support him as he recovered. He just hoped that the younger boy wouldn't have to suffer like he had ever again.

"Kira," Athrun called out softly as he snapped out of his thoughts, "Wake up my sleeping beauty; we've almost arrived at the PLANTS."

"Okay, I'm up," the brunette yawned before freezing in horror. Athrun noticed the change immediately.

"What's up koishii?" he asked, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You don't hate me now do you?" Kira whispered , playing with the fraying edges of the blanket. He didn't think he would be able to take it if Athrun hated him, especially after he now knew what had happened to him.

Athrun gathered the anxious boy into his arms, conveying everything he felt into the contact "Never, Kira. I could never hate you. Thank you for trusting me enough to talk to me."

Kira released the tension in his body and inhaled the fresh scent of his fiancé. "Thank you for not hating me Athrun. How far are we from the PLANTS?"

Athrun gently stroked Kira's soft locks, "About an hour and a half. I'll leave you get ready and we'll go see Dad before we disembark okay?"

Kira nodded before detangling himself from the comforting embrace. "I better get ready then. You can go and pack your things, I'll be fine."

Athrun hesitated.

"Go Athrun," Kira said with a smile, "I'll be okay."

Seeing the warm glow return to Kira's eyes was all the reassurance Athrun needed. Kira would be fine.

* * *

After a final gathering of belongings and a good, if brief, visit for Athrun and Kira, the Le Cruset team and the extra Versailius passengers were prepared to disembark.

"So Athrun, Kira, we'll be seeing you soon." Dearka said as the ship was finally docked and the ramp was brought in.

"Two weeks," Athrun confirmed as he adjusted the straps of his and Kira's bags. Patrick gave his son a confused look and Athrun mouthed that he would explain later.

The doors opened and they departed, Kira and Patrick bringing up the rear. Goodbyes were said and Kira managed to bring himself to shake Le Cruset's hand in farewell, making the two Zalas smile at the small progress. Soon, the small party were secured in a car and were cruising out of the station.

As Kira took in the familiar yet unfamiliar sites, tears silently poured down his face. Patrick gave the teen a sideways hug while Athrun took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Welcome back Kira," the elder Zala said softly "Welcome back."

* * *

AN: And that's the chapter. Keep your eyes peeled for the side story; it won't be added as a chapter to this story:) Thanks again to nequam-tenshi for BETAing.

Until next time.


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: TWO YEARS! I'm embarrassed, I really am, that it took me so long just to output one chapter. Granted, there's not much time left when one is trying for another degree but still, I don't think I've ever taken two years to write one chapter before. There really is no excuse.**

**So in recognition of my failure as an author, I give you one of my longest chapters, unbeta'd. The beta'd version will be put up as soon as available but i really don't want to keep you waiting any longer. To be honest, I'm not entirely happy with some aspects of this but I think a two year wait is long enough don't you? Thank you to all my loyal readers and for all the lovely reviews. I do appreciate it, more than you know. **

**And now without further to do; chapter 7 of Mou Ichido.**

**Disclaimer: see previous chaps**

* * *

The Zala mansion was as Kira last remembered it, warm and inviting. Despite her passing, Lenore's touch was still visible everywhere in the decorating style of the house.

After a brief tour, Athrun lead Kira to his room, untouched since the brunette's last visit to the PLANTS.

"Here we are koishii," Athrun said as he opened the door while giving the tired teen some support. "Mum insisted that your room be kept clean and Dad continued with that even though we thought we'd never find you."

Tired amethyst eyes took in the familiar site, memories of better days passing quickly.

"Thank you Athrun," Kira said softly, leaving the warmth of his fiancé and slowly making his way to the inviting looking bed,

The blunette watched as Kira quickly drifted off to sleep, seconds after seating himself on the edge of the bed. Shaking his head in amusement, he gently shook the still thin shoulder to rouse the younger boy enough to get under the covers.

With a bit of difficulty, Kira was tucked into bed, dead to the world around him. Athrun sat watching him, gently brushing the brown locks of Kira's fringe away from his face. He placed a kiss on the sleeping boy's forehead before standing up.

"Sleep well my love," he murmured as he closed the door.

Downstairs, he found his father sorting through the various documents that had accumulated during his brief absence.

"Kira's fast asleep. I think we tired him out on the re-acquaintance tour." the teen said as he took a seat at the kitchen island.

Patrick looked up at his amused son "I'm taking it that he didn't even bother with lying down before sleeping."

Athrun chuckled "I had to fight to keep him awake enough to get under the covers"

The elder Zala shook his head in brief amusement. "And what was that your blonde friend was saying about two weeks? Should I be worried?"

"No, no. the guys just want to have a small welcome party for Kira. Just us and the team. No one else until Kira's completely settled."

Patrick gave his son a hard look "The last time Dearka planned a 'small' party we had to replace the living room furniture"

Athrun smiled "That's why Nicol's planning it."

The father laughed again before going back to sorting his documents. It sure was good to be home.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Kira woke and the warmth of the slowly setting sun made the young teen smile. For once he felt safe and his lack of nightmares lifted his mood considerably.

Sitting up, Kira familiarised himself with the room which he had once called his own. Gone were the Lunar prep decorations Athrun and him had painstakingly put up, to his aunt's displeasure. Pictures of his childhood days decorated the room in various frames. The style of the room had been updated slightly but overall, the room was exactly as he remembered it to be like.

Pushing the heavy covers aside, Kira grabbed his crutches and slowly began his search for the Zalas.

Twenty minutes later, he had to admit, to his despair, that he was completely and utterly lost. Silently cursing his memory for failing to remember the home he had spent lots of time in beforehand, Kira pushed open another door to find his aunt's music room.

The room was immaculately clean but it was clear that no one had been there for any amount of time after its owner's passing. The baby grand in the middle of the room was covered by its protective covering, the keyboard facing his aunt's portrait.

Making his way over to the instrument, Kira allowed his mind to wander to the first time he had been in this particular room.

_Flashback_

_Seven year old Kira giggled as he ran down the corridor. Athrun was still downstairs counting to 100 so he still had plenty of time to find a hiding spot. He slowed down though as he heard the gentle sounds of Mozart further down the corridor._

_Curious, he followed the sound to, what he dubbed as the music room, where his aunt sat at the big piano, eyes closed as she let the music wash over her._

_Kira watched in awe as his aunt's expressive face showed her complete enjoyment at the sound; her fingers lightly dancing over the ivory and white keys. Athrun and the game completely forgotten, the young coordinator moved the angel that had taken the place of his aunt. _

_As the song drew to a close, Kira waited patiently until his aunt acknowledged him, not wanting to break the peace that had settled over the music room._

"_what brings you over to this side of the house Kira?" the lady Zala asked as she shook off the last remnants of the song._

"_That was pretty auntie," the young boy said in awe "can you teach me as well. Puh leeaaasseee"_

_Lenore laughed before patting the space next to her on the bench. "It'll be a lot of hard work, are you ready for it?"_

_The enthusiastic nod had Lenore laughing again "Listen well Kira, this song is just for you."_

_Suddenly, a new tune started in the background, the violin dominating over the piano._

"_Remember Kira," Lenore said as she played the piano accompaniment, "remember your song"_

Kira woke with a start, lifting his head from where he was seated at the baby grand. He didn't even remember falling asleep but the haunting tune from his dreams still played though his mind.

"I'll remember Auntie, I'll play it and keep it treasured." he whispered as he hobbled his way out of the room.

* * *

Kira eventually found himself back downstairs where Patrick was seated, face clouded with worry.

"Kira," Patrick exclaimed "we thought you'd gotten lost. Athrun's busy running all over the place."

Kira flushed slightly "Umm I'd managed to wander to the music room. And I fell asleep again."

Patrick chucked and motioned for the small boy to take a seat. "How are you liking being back on the PLANTS?"

Kira gave a shy smile "I love it Uncle Patrick. It..." the teen stopped abruptly causing Patrick to give him a questioning look.

"Kira?" the older man asked confused

The brunette held up his arm and the elder Zala could see the tremors that had taken over. "It's happening again Uncle Patrick although it seems like it's much stronger than it was before." Kira said before lowering his arm again and holding on with his other hand, trying to control his contracting muscles.

"Is there anything I can do?' Patrick asked, feeling quite useless.

"N...oth...ing. It...ll g...o a..wa...y I...n a mo...me...nt" Kira stuttered out, the tremors having taken over his entire body.

Patrick could only watch as his future son in law fought to control his body. Perspiration dripped down his forehead, being caught by the brown locks of Kira's bangs.

Athrun wandered into the living room as Kira was slowly gaining control again and coming back into awareness.

"You okay there koishii? Would you like some water? He asked concerned as he brushed away Kira's sweat soaked bangs, ignoring the slight flinch that accompanied his actions.

"Please," Kira asked tiredly as he slowly relaxed, satisfied that the attack had passed.

"I'll come with you son so that we can order supper as well." Patrick added as he stood up from his perch next to the smaller teen.

Athrun nodded and the two set off to the kitchen after the blunette had helped his young fiancée lay down on the couch.

The two men walked in silence until they reached the large kitchen. "Is that what Kira had mentioned at his first physio session?" Patrick asked concerned

"From what I've gathered they don't come too often any more but the attack gets stronger every time." Athrun said softly as he filled a glass of water from the tap.

Patrick paused in thought, thinking over what the doctor had expressed in concern. "I'm going to book him to see the neurologist the doctor suggested he see while he's here. That looked pretty severe as it was."

"I think that's a good idea. Who knows what damage has been done by the naturals."

Patrick nodded in agreement. Seeing that his son still had a lot on his mind, the council man prompted him to continue speaking.

Athrun frowned "It's just that Kira had mentioned before, when we were out in the battlefield," here he shuddered from the memory "that he had friends on that ship; that he had to protect them. Do you think the EA could use them as leverage over us, especially since they're most probably ORB citizens as well?"

"I'm not sure son," Patrick replied with a frown, this was all news to him "it's possible, the EA are ruthless enough to use ordinary citizens as hostages but maybe they're being held prisoner for associating with a coordinator. I'm really not sure." he fell silent in thought "I'll have to alert the council about this."

"That's another thing," Athrun injected into his father's busy thoughts "Are they going to put Kira on trial? He did fight for the EA and kill two of our soldiers, as unintentional as it was"

Patrick started out of his thoughts at this concern "Heaven's no. Yes Kira might have fought with the EA but we have proof of the maltreatment inflicted onto him in order to get him into that position. Yes, while Kira might need to go see the council, it would be about changing his citizenship and about what had happened to him so that it's all on record. Not to be put on trial."

Athrun relaxed at that "Thank goodness, all I want is for him to enjoy life again and heal from the treatment at the hands of those Naturals. A trial is the last thing he needs right now."

The older man gave his son a tight hug "too true, too true."

* * *

For the rest of the week, Kira got reacquainted with life on the PLANTS. The two Zalas took him around to get new clothing and various other necessities for an extended stay. In that time, the le Cruset team came and visited twice but Kira was still very uncomfortable around them so they tried to keep things light for the traumatised teen.

The main downside was the reoccurring nightmares which kept waking the brunette at all hours of the night. At first, Kira had tried to keep them from Athrun and his uncle but one night after re-experiencing his torture under his step-father's hand along with the bar manager, Kira had run out of his room in his panic and bumped straight into Patrick; who was on his way to bed after finishing some of his piled up workload. The older man had pulled him into a gentle hug, despite his struggles, and eventually had calmed the frightened teen enough to put him back to bed.

The following day, Kira had been confined to bed rest owing to the pulled muscles in his back but the pain medication kept him drugged enough to catch up on his lost sleep.

In addition to the nightmares, Kira's dream of his aunt Lenore and the song kept his mind buzzing with the unknown tune. During his waking hours, he would alternate between strumming the guitar accompaniment and humming the tune under his breath. Athrun had asked him once what the song was but Kira couldn't in all honesty replicate the tune on his guitar. It frustrated him and Athrun had not asked again.

It was when Athrun had taken Kira out for a walk, per his physio's instructions, that the comfortable routine of the past week had been broken. Patrick had been getting his third cup of coffee for the day when the video call had come through. He sighed but straightened as he answered the call.

"Chairman Zala, how may I help you?"

"Ah Patrick, good thing I found you." Siegel Clyne said good naturedly "The council wants us to meet about the current EA situation. I know it might be a bit early, but they want the young man to tell his story for the record before he forgets any details."

Patrick's blood ran cold "When do they want to have the meeting?"

Clyne gave a sympathetic smile "In two days' time. We'll be meeting here at mine though; thought that it was better than any of the council rooms."

The chairman sighed before straitening "Thanks for telling me Siegel, we'll be seeing you in two days' time."

"Good luck Patrick"

The call ended and the elder Zala ran his hand though his hair. 'Why now? Kira's still waking up from the nightmares terrified; this could ruin him.'

When the two boys got back that afternoon, Patrick had reconfirmed the phone call more times than he would have liked. Sensing the serious air around the older man; the two teens settled in the living room, patiently waiting got Patrick to start speaking.

"I got a call from Chairman Clyne while you were out." He started gravely "The council has called a meeting two days from now to discuss the situation with the EA"

"Well that's good right," Athrun interrupted, "they'll decide on what's to happen now after Heliopolis right?"

Patrick sighed "I wish it was that simple son. The council wish for Kira to testify on record about his treatment under the care of the Naturals."

A look passed between the two Zalas as they glanced at Kira in concern; they both knew that the brunette would not be up to full testimony yet.

Kira on the other hand was trying to contain the panic and fear he could feel building inside him. He didn't want to share his horror stories with anybody; just wanting to bury it in the past and start repairing his life but he knew that it wouldn't be as easy as that. And he knew that his uncle Patrick would have tried everything to get the date pushed back so if the council was meeting in two days, then there was nothing that could be done to postpone the meeting. There was nothing to it then.

"I'll do it," he said softly lifting his eyes to meet those of his uncle "I'll testify"

* * *

The next two days were difficult for all in the Zala household. Kira was no longer able to sleep for fear of the nightmares that continually plagued him; now more frequent than when he had first arrived on the PLANTS. Patrick and Athrun tried to get him to open up after each one but the teen remain silent; shrinking back whenever they tried to ask. Eventually, the two gave up and resorted to making sure that Kira at least got some sleep during the day to make up for what he was losing at night.

The day before they were to leave for Siegel Clyne's house Le Cruset stopped by with a packet of documents for the elder Zala. He had not been wearing his notable silver mask and when Kira had seen him; he had gone almost catatonic from fright and panic. Nothing the other two would do could calm him and eventually Athrun had carried the brown haired teen to his room, ignoring the violent flinch Kira gave when he had picked him up, and had left him to calm down on his own.

"Dad is there no way to push this back," Athrun begged once he had reached the downstairs level once again. The two adults turned to look at him "Kira's only been getting worse since he said he'd testify. We can't make him go through with this."

"I agree with your son Patrick," Rau said thoughtfully "Young Kira had not been this distressed even when he first saw me on the Versailius. There has to be another way of doing this without traumatising the child any further."

Patrick sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration "Don't think I haven't tried but the council is insistent. They want to get this cleared as soon as possible so that we can all go back to actually living instead of looking over our shoulders all the time. Also they want the charges against the EA on record so that they can officially grant Kira citizenship and asylum. That way, they can try the offenders for crimes against a coordinator and citizen of the PLANTS." He sat down heavily at the kitchen counter "I wish I could spare Kira this; I can see how badly it is affecting him. The council has promised though that they'll make it as easy on him as possible. They don't want to do any further damage themselves."

The three fell silent, each with their thoughts turned to the suffering teen upstairs. Soon, a haunting melody floated through the house and Athrun closed his eyes in desperation 'Kira, how can we help you, my love.'

* * *

It wasn't too long after Athrun had left him and he had calmed himself sufficiently not to jump at every small noise that Kira felt the pull to his Aunt's music room. He needed to play, to let out all the emotions that had been bottled up and he knew this time his guitar was not the solution. Slowly he hobbled his way to the other side of the house and gingerly pushed the door open.

The late morning sun lit the room up in an almost unearthly glow which he felt appropriate given who the true owner of the room was. Reverently uncovering his aunt's piano, Kira carefully seated himself in front of the keys, the urge to play almost overwhelming him. Playing a few scales to ensure that the piano was still in tune, the distraught teen let go of his emotions and played.

The melody was soft at first, almost fragile in its delicacy but grew as the storm of emotions raging within Kira grew fiercer. By the bridge, the song was a crescendo of pain and suffering; of disappointment at being unable to handle himself as he always had. The sun turned Kira's tears into fragile crystals which dotted his face and the keys but still the brunette played. As the final note rang throughout the room, Kira was trembling so hard he was unable to play any longer. Turning to face his aunt's portrait, his eyes bright with defeat, he smiled sadly and began to sing softly

_Crawling in my skin_

_These wounds they will not heal_

_Fear is how I fall _

_Confusing what is real_

_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface_

_Consuming_

_Confusing_

_This lack of self-control I fear is never ending_

_Controlling_

_I can't seem to find myself again_

_My walls are closing in_

_I've felt this way before_

_So insecure_

_Crawling in my skin_

_These wounds they will not heal_

_Fear is how I fall _

_Confusing what is real_

_Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me_

_Distracting_

_Reacting_

_Against my will I stand beside my own reflection_

_It's haunting_

_How I can't seem to find myself again_

_My walls are closing in_

_I've felt this way before_

_So insecure_

_Crawling in my skin_

_These wounds they will not heal_

_Fear is how I fall _

_Confusing what is real_

_Crawling in my skin_

_These wounds they will not heal_

_Fear is how I fall _

_Confusing, confusing what is real_

_(There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface_

_Consuming)_

_Confusing what is real_

_(This lack of self-control I fear is ever ending_

_Controlling)_

_Confusing what is real_

* * *

"Welcome Patrick, I hope that you had a pleasant trip over here?" Siegel greeted them when they arrived. The chairmen shook hands

"Thank you Siegel. We travelled as well as we could I suppose." Patrick replied politely "You know my son Athrun and this is his fiancée Kira Yamato." He said indicating to the two boys next to him.

"Athrun, pleasure to meet you again," Clyne said as he shook the teen's hand "Been awhile since you last visited; Lacus has been asking after you."

"Chairman Clyne," Athrun greeted "It has been a while."

"And Mr Yamato, a pleasure to finally meet you," the elder councilman moved to shake the younger teen's hand but the brunette flinched violently and moved closer towards Patrick. He gave a small nod in greeting.

Siegel gave Patrick a questioning look. The eldest Zala shook his head slightly before resting a hand on Kira's shoulder, ignoring the flinch the small teen gave. "I've got a meeting with the council now but Athrun can show you where we'll be staying. I'll meet you two for lunch okay."

The brunette nodded before moving to Athrun's side and the two disappeared into the house.

Siegel turned to his fellow chairman "Patrick, what..."

"Don't Siegel." Patrick begged "It's been a tough two days, can we just get the meeting over with."

The two made their way towards the meeting room "That child is in no state to testify." Clyne continued "He wouldn't even look up during the introductions."

Patrick stopped and glared at the man beside him "And now you see why I requested that the council push this back. Between Athrun and I; we had been making some progress but since he agreed to testify, Kira has gotten worse. He won't speak as of early yesterday afternoon. And he adamantly refuses to sleep because the nightmares leave him too terrified to close his eyes. So yes Siegel, I know Kira is in no state to testify and it breaks my heart in two to know that it was I who pushed him into this state."

The blonde laid a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder "It's not your fault Patrick and in hindsight we as the council should have listened when you'd earnestly asked for this to be pushed back but it's too late now. I'll personally guarantee though that that boy will not be traumatised further than he has been already."

Patrick sighed before running a hand through his hair, something he noticed he was doing often now "Thank you Siegel and I apologise for my outburst; you didn't deserve that. I know that it's better that we get this out of the way as quickly as possible. I just wish that that child, the son of my late friends and the future life partner of my son, be spared this pain. Kira never deserved this, even as a small child he was being hurt because he's a coordinator. Blue Cosmos and their affiliates were rampant even on the moon. It kills me to think of what he's gone through, the gentle soul that he is." He paused "He reminds me a lot of your daughter actually. They would be kindred spirits I think."

Siegel couldn't see how the terrified teen he had met could be kindred with his young daughter. Patrick caught his disbelieving look. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I believe the two do share the same type of soul. One just has to find Kira again to be able to see it."

* * *

Kira tried to keep his breathing even as he was led to the room where they would take his testimony. Athrun had stayed with him until Chairman Clyne's daughter Lacus had come and told them that the council would like to debrief him about the Heliopolis attack.

That had been nearly two hours ago and in that time Kira had gotten to know the pink haired girl a little better as she kept him company. He had learnt that she was a singer, a rather famous one on the PLANTS, and that she too wanted nothing to do with the war. Also, she was rather calm and was extremely friendly; reminding him of what his aunt Lenore probably had been like in her late teen years. Also she hadn't seemed to mind when he flinched away from her and didn't speak a word; rather, she kept up the rather one sided conversation and had explained what had happened on the PLANTS for the past few years. She had been telling him about the first time she had met Athrun when a white haired woman had come to take him to the room the council was using for their meeting.

When he entered the faces that greeted him were encouraging while Siegel Clyne's and his Uncle Patrick's were open and warm. The woman led him to a chair at the top of the boardroom table before taking a seat next to his Uncle Patrick, whom he saw sat to his left.

"Hello Mr Yamato," the woman began, giving a small smile "My name is Ezalia Joule and I'm going to be handling the proceedings today, is that okay?"

The brunette nodded, hoping his apprehension wasn't visible on his face.

"To make things easier on you, we as the council thought it best if we put you under a hypnotic trance so that you can testify without consciously remembering everything." She continued "we don't want to hurt you any further so if you find that this is not acceptable, then we'll find another way to go about this until your 100% sure and comfortable."

"It's fine," Kira spoke very softly, almost a whipser "I'll go under but sometimes I can break through a trance. It has to be deep enough for me to be unable to break it for this to work"

Patrick gave him a proud smile, both to the fact that he would undergo the trance and that he had spoken again. Ezalia nodded and indicated for another council member to proceed. The man stood and moved to stand in front of him.

"Mr Yamato, my name is Ali Kasim" the man introduced himself "I'm going to try and put you into a trance so please don't fight me and try to relax as much as possible. I'm need to put my hand on your arm, is that fine with you?"

A minute nod and the man's large hand covered the top of Kira's forearm. The brunette flinched violently and tried to shy away from the touch before catching himself.

"Sorry," Kira whispered, ashamed of his reaction.

The man smiled encouragingly, "no worries, are you okay? Do you want me to remove my hand?"

Kira shook his head before taking a deep breath to try and calm down.

"Good, that's great," Kasim continued, "Now, breathe in time with me okay; let go of all your tension and relax every time you exhale. In and Out, that's right"

The two carried on in this manner for almost twenty minutes before the last of the tension within Kira's muscles drained out and the teen relaxed completely.

"Perfect, you're doing very well Mr Yamato. Now, I'm going to move my hand and touch your head is that fine?"

Kira tensed and his breathing sped up a bit. Kasim moved his arm up and down Kira's arm in an effort to calm him. "Okay Kira, deep breaths. I won't move my hand; just keep taking slow, deep breaths."

Kasim continued in this vein pulling Kira into a deeper and deeper trance until he stood back, forty five minutes after starting, saying Kira was in as deep a trance as he could get the young teen into safely.

The brief chatter that had broken out during the process stopped as Ezalia held up a hand for silence. "Let us begin"

* * *

"I really enjoyed spending time with your Kira today" Lacus commented as she and Athrun strolled around the Clyne estate "he has a good heart and a very gentle soul"

"Thank you for staying with him and being so patient. He has had a tough time in the last few days." Athrun smiled "I hope the two of you could be very good friends"

Lacus laughed, "I would love to be friends with your Kira Athrun. It's not often that I find another harmonic. Plus he seems nice"

Athrun stopped walking, turning to stare at his pink haired friend "Lacus, what's a harmonic?"

The songstress laughed again before running ahead "Hurry Athrun, I want to show you what Hiro can do now!"

"Kira, can you tell us the first time you were targeted and hurt because you were a coordinator?" Ezalia started, thinking that this would be a good place to determine when the teen was forced into work for the EA ship. Beside her, Patrick was shaking his head at the question, knowing this was not the answer Ezalia was looking for.

"I was five I think," Kira's monotone reply came "Mama had taken me to the park while Athrun and his family were away. These boys came and started bothering me; saying that since I was a coordinator I shouldn't have a problem with deflecting their hits. They were probably twelve years old. I tried to move back to mama but they caught me and one managed to smack me in the face. Mama came and started scolding them but their mom's came and said that they were doing nothing wrong and that freaks like me should be shown that we were not any better than naturals. Mama then got really angry and asked those ladies if they had ever considered that maybe I was a coordinator because it was the only way for me to still be living today. They didn't say anything else and then we left and went home."

The board were struck silent at the cruelty the young man had faced at such a young age with exception to Patrick who rubbed a tired hand over his face. Athrun had been as upset as Kira over the incident and when he returned in tears from the Yamato house; Haruma had explained what had happened.

"Did anything like this ever happen again? Were you ever specifically targeted for being a coordinator and hurt as a result" Clyne asked softly

Kira's breath hitched slightly but he answered in the same monotone "After Athrun and Uncle Patrick and Auntie Lenore moved to the PLANTs and Mama and Papa were killed and my foster mom walked out, my foster dad sold me to a man named Kay. He said that a lot of his customers would pay large amounts to have a chance at a coordinator, especially one as pretty as me but first he needed to test the merchandise. They stripped me and Kay proceeded to…"

Kira's breath hitched again and Kasim could see the teen fighting the trance as his subconscious responded to the memory. He quickly soothed Kira before turning to Patrick.

"Sir, maybe you can proceed with the interview? It seems that there's a lot of trauma in Kira's past and since you're the most knowledgeable of us here about him, you'd be able to direct the questioning a lot better. As it is we haven't learnt much about what happened while he was with the EA, which is our aim here today."

Patrick nodded "Kiki, how did you end up on the ArchAngel?"

Kira let out a sad laugh "I was there as part of my final project. My friends and I had been recommended by our professor to work on some systems to be used in the recreational areas of the ship. We had never been in any of the military parts and none of the recruits on board were aware of who was doing the programming for their relaxation areas. I had been heading back to the ship with the new code that we'd written when the ground started shaking. I tried to run to one of the escape pods but I was in the wrong area of the hanger. Something fell from the roof and there was fire and a lot of chaos when I saw Athrun. I was about to ask what he was doing there when the ground shook again and then I fell into the cockpit of the gundam. Athrun and I had been standing above it.

When the hatch closed all the systems booted and the thing started moving. I got it outside somehow because I didn't want to damage anything accidentally and re-wrote the software as the original OS wasn't very good. Then I saw my friends being attack and tried to protect them. I must have done something right cause the rest of the gundams left and then I could get out. When I joined them we were surrounded by the Earth Alliance and told that we were being taken prisoner because the gundam attack started after I had left the ship. They thought that I'd signalled the attack to start.

We tried to explain that we were neutral but the lieutenant wanted us as his prisoners. He said that he'd only let us go if I piloted the gundam for them. One of my other friends had let it slip in the melee that I was a coordinator and that our whole group were technology majors. So I did, I piloted the gundam, in order to keep my friends safe; to prevent them from being harmed by the EA."

Around the table people nodded sadly; it was simply a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Patrick sighed but continued the questioning "who was in charge when you were taken prisoner?"

"Lieutenant La Flaga and Ensign Badgeriul; they said that the captain had died in the attack."

"And who was it that hurt you while you were there?" Patrick asked gently

Kira's breathing picked up again, despite Kasim soothing him "La Flaga," he whispered.

"Will you tell us what happened, Kiki?"

Kira shook his head violently, his breath coming in harsh gasps now. Kasim took his hand off the shaking teens arm and shook his head "It's no use now; he's out of the trance."

Patrick gathered Kira into his arms and slowly soothed him "no more questions Kira, we won't ask any more." He turned to Ezalia "did you get enough information?"

The blonde shook her head "we didn't but we'll stop for now. We don't want to stress Kira. We can grant him citizenship but we don't have enough to try the EA. Just one more question though, Kira do you think your friends are still alive and on the ArchAngel?"

A small, almost indistinguishable nod and Ezalia sat back. "Okay, I think we're going to have to plan a way to retrieve those teens before anything happens to them. Also we'll continue gathering evidence against the EA. Hopefully this will push ORB into siding with us so that we can end this war once and for all. Meeting adjourned; we'll meet again in three weeks. We can take lunch I think."

Sigel made his way over to Patrick who still held the now still Kira close "You're more than welcome to stay a while Patrick. I know Lacus has been a bit lonely here and maybe Kira will be able to enjoy her presence."

Patrick gave a small smile, "thanks old friend; we'll be happy to stay a while. Plus Kira will want to hear Lacus sing."

* * *

Kira slowly extracted himself from Patrick's shoulder as he took in the music room. It was obviously for a singer rather than an instrumentalist but the white grand piano and the glass walls gave the room a comfortable, airy feel. Athrun and Lacus had been sitting on one side of the room, talking quietly, but they rose to meet the two adults when they entered.

"Kira, Athrun tells me you play piano, guitar and sing" Lacus said brightly as she addressed the silent teen "please will you play something for me?"

Looking down at the songstress, Kira couldn't help but give her a small smile and a nod. Patrick set him at the piano and gave his shoulder a small squeeze before heading over to the elder Clyne; the two talking about the meeting held earlier. Athrun sat behind him on the piano bench, his arms wrapping around a too thin waist.

The amethyst eyed teen thought about what to play for Athrun's friend. Lacus so reminded him of his aunt Lenore and without thinking his hands began playing the piano accompaniment to the song from his dreams.

Lacus closed her eyes, savouring the rich and powerful sound. Kira's song was so familiar, touching something deep within her. She didn't realise she was singing until Kira began the chorus

_Me wo sorasazu ni_

_Subete no kono mune ni_

_Sasaru shinjitsu naraba_

_Aruiteikou yugami fusagareta_

_Hoshi no tobira no mukou_

_Naniamanai_

_Akai ame_

_Omoidasenai tsubusareta ashioto_

_Kimi no te sotto furetara_

_Kanjiteru yo sono kodou_

_Tsunaide mou hanasanai_

_Terashitsuzukeyou hoshi no hikari de_

_Nani ka ga kawaru_

_Ryoute hirogetara_

_Sore ga shinjitsu dakara_

_Doko he mo ikazu_

_Boku no soba ni ite_

_Tobira wo akete ageyou_

_Me wo sorasazu ni_

_Subete no kono mune ni_

_Sasaru shinjitsu naraba_

_Aruiteikou yugami fusagareta_

_Hoshi no tobira no mukou…_

Lacus was flying, freed by this song; Kira's song. As the last note rang in the air, she met shocked but grateful amethyst before all went black.

* * *

Kira let the song flow over him as he continued the accompaniment. Lacus' voice was pure and earnest, matching almost perfectly with the song from his dream. He felt himself get lost in the music; in the perfectly sung note before meeting questioning blue eyes. He let her see how grateful he was that she had understood his thoughts when everything went black.

* * *

Athrun started when he saw Lacus falling and felt Kira go slack in his arms. He'd been mesmerised by the music the two were creating. He vaguely recognised the tune as the song that had had Kira so frustrated two days earlier and wondered how Lacus managed not only to replicate the tune but sing the lyrics, despite never having seen them before.

Carefully lifting his fiancée away from the piano, he joined Clyne, who had rushed to his daughter's side and had her propped against his chest. Patrick was carefully checking her over; making sure the songstress hadn't been injured when she fell.

"What just happened?" Clyne asked when Patrick had declared Lacus to be fine "I've never heard that song before and I'm sure Lacus hadn't either but she sang as if she's known it all her life."

Patrick paused in his examination of Kira to give his friend a searching look. "I was hoping you could tell me. All I know is that Kira tried to play us that song two days ago and he struggled to replicate the tune on his guitar, causing him endless frustration, and yet your daughter was sing it without any hesitation." he paused "I've never actually heard of anyone other than Kira who was able to sing his songs since he started taking lessons with Lenore. In fact, she was the last person who was able to sing to any of Kira's music."

Athrun looked at the unconscious faces of two of the most important people in his life and Lacus' words came back to him "dad," he began "what's a harmonic?"

* * *

**Cliff-hanger, I'm sorry but I** **thought that was a good place to end. Promise it won't take another two years for the next chapter. Please leave your thoughts and feel free to point out any inconsistencies, errors etc. Also, the live journal; I know how to use that now so that's an option for check out as well. Translations will be there from now on cause I'm too lazy to change my profile every time ;)**

**Also, if anyone knows where I can download gundam seed in English, not English subtitled, please say so; updates will come much quicker if I can get that going.**

**Thanks so much for sticking with me. Mou Ichido has more than 20 000 hits!**

**DM4LS**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N****: So a new chapter and it didn't even take two years this time. It will be a while until the next one comes out though as I have exams at the moment and my inspiration has suddenly come to a brief halt. On the plus side I have found a site that streams Gundam Seed in English; when I get a chance to watch updates should come out faster. **

**Now about this chapter; it is about as AU as anyone can get. The concept of harmonics is something that sprang to mind after too much time spent playing piano scales and too much signal processing. Despite its obvious AUness; it's VERY important to the plot. I realise that such a major deviation from the main plotline does put some people off a story so I am putting a notification here before the chapter. I do not want to get reviews saying that 'this did not happen in seed etc. etc.' I know, I watched the anime. Also, instead of my usual style of having fairly long sections, this chapter is composed of many shortish sections that seem to jump around (at least that's how it seems to me). This is because I wanted to explain everything that's going to be important to future chapters so you have my apologises if it is hard to read/follow. It only gets better from here on out.  
**

**For anyone who wants a more clear explanation on harmonics, check out the Mou Ichido live journal in a couple of days; it'll be explained in greater clarity there. Ok, I'm going to end this note here but it continues at the end of the story. Please read! It contains vital info as to the progression of this story.**

**But for now; enjoy the chapter- unBeta'd as it is.**

* * *

Patrick looked at his friend as he flinched at Athrun's question. "Siegel, do you know what Athrun's talking about?"

The chairman stood with his daughter in his arms and motion for Patrick to do the same with Kira, "Not here, let's get these two settled first then I'll explain what it is that I know."

The two Zalas shared a look before following the worried blonde.

* * *

"The harmonics are a sector of humanity who is completely in tune with music, or rather, music waves; particularly those that oscillate periodically." Siegel began once they were settled in his office. "They have an affinity towards instruments that produce harmonic waves and can be identified by an unnaturally beautiful singing voice or unbelievable talent in a harmonic wave producing instrument such as the violin or guitar. Also harmonics can sense when they've met another harmonic; we're not sure how but speculation is that something in their intrinsic aura allows them to sense the fundamental period of a harmonic wave within another's aura. Sort of like a radio receiver, I'm not sure. Lacus, whom you've probably guessed is one of them, has tried to explain it to me but it's still confusing."

"What does that have to do with Kira though?" Athrun asked as the elder gentleman took a sip of water. "Does Lacus think that Kira is a harmonic? Wouldn't that have been picked up already; especially since you didn't specify harmonics as being just coordinators? I'm guessing amongst Naturals you do find harmonics."

Siegel shrugged "I honestly don't know why but if Lacus says that Kira is a harmonic, then chances are that he is one. Harmonics are rarely wrong about sensing each other. We'll need to test him so that it can be noted by the council."

He paused "you see the harmonics are naturally peaceful people, it allows them to tune into the waves much easier. They are never called upon as soldiers and have the option of receiving training to further their natural gifts. By having Kira noted as being a harmonic we could possibly add that to the growing list of charges that we are bringing against the EA, though we might have a bit of trouble having this one stick since we're only discovering now that Kira is a harmonic."

"What sort of test are you proposing for Kira?" Patrick injected "remembering that we've just finished with his interrogation and the build up from that resulted in Kira rendering himself mute."

Siegel opened his desk drawer before removing a thin book from beneath some papers "This is the book that I received once it was suspected that Lacus was a harmonic. Once we notify the council then your family will receive one as well. It basically contains all the information that I just told you and a few more specifics that will be added after Kira's test. But the basic test is that an instrumental piece will be played and then the candidate is to sing whatever song comes to them.

The instrumental is always an original song with no lyrics to it, usually composed by another harmonic since it allows for easier connection to the music to a candidate. Then the judging panel, consisting of five members from the council and three well-known harmonic singers, will then observe the candidate and decide whether they meet the qualifications to be considered a harmonic or not. What they look for is unknown, just that they are very, very rarely wrong. It's sort of an extreme form of improvisation I guess" Siegel finished with a small frown.

"That still doesn't explain what happened just now though? I know for sure that Lacus has never heard that song before. We ourselves only heard a portion of it a few days ago and yet she sang as if she'd know it all her life" Athrun observed as he got up to pace "and harmonic or not, I'm pretty sure that's not normal, especially since the song does have lyrics and it's not a brand new instrumental. Kira's been working on it since he arrived on the PLANTs"

Silence encompassed the study as the two adults tried to figure out the mystery they'd been presented with. Finally Patrick sighed and placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder "well it looks like the only people who can answer that question for us are asleep upstairs. Why don't we adjourn for now and pick this up once they are up"

* * *

Lacus was standing within an unfamiliar but well-lit music room. Laughter floated through the air and she turned just in time for a small brown-haired boy to run straight through her. She gasped only for another small boy to follow suit. The leader stumbled slightly but continued to laugh as he turned towards the grand piano by the bay windows.

"Oji-san, Oji-san" the smaller boy cried "Mama says you're going to help us with a song we can sing for show and tell!"

"yeah mama," his companion replied "Auntie Caridad says you know one for us to perform in nihongo so that it's unique for just us and the other children won't know it." His blue hair shone as he moved into the sunshine.

A woman got up from behind the piano startling Lacus who hadn't seen her. She laughed at their enthusiasm and gathered them into a hug. Her blue hair matched that of the second child and her sparkling green eyes reminded her of those she'd seen on Athrun.

'Come to think of it, she resembles Athrun a great deal," Lacus thought as she watched the touching scene 'if he were female in any case.'

"Oh my rambunctious sweethearts," the woman cooed "what are you yelling about this time; especially when Patrick is having a meeting downstairs."

"They want to learn the requiem for show and tell," a new voice added to the chaos and a beautiful, black haired woman entered the room, shutting the door behind her "sorry Lenore, it seems the boys are very eager to learn. They left me in their dust." She laughed and the woman, Lenore, joined in. "I just hope they didn't disturb the neighbourhood watch meeting."

Lenore stood with a small hand in each of her own and the four sat down at the small seating area "after Kira's fourth birthday party, I think noise is the last thing they'll complain about. So Athrun, you and Kira want to learn the requiem for show and tell? That's a very difficult song."

"We want to learn it Auntie Lenore!" the boy Lacus could now identify as a younger Kira exclaimed "it's very pretty."

The two women laughed at his enthusiasm "well we better get started then," Caridad said with a smile.

Lacus watched as the two mothers taught their children the Japanese song. They struggled with the pronunciation but were determined to get it right.

'They were such sweet kids, especially Kira.' Lacus thought as she watched them interact with each other and their mothers 'I wish they had kept this innocence and purity about them but this war prevented that'

Lost in thought Lacus started once more as someone walked through her; or rather two someone's. She recognised Patrick Zala but was unfamiliar with the other man whom she assumed was Kira's father.

"Daddy," the two boys cried as they each spied their fathers.

"What are you monsters up to today?" Kira's father asked as he picked his giggling son up and swung him around. "I think there were some Shepherds on the far side of the moon who didn't hear you yelling and laughing earlier on."

"Mama's teaching us the requiem," Athrun answered as he lifted his arms for a hug. Patrick complied easily, picking him up to settle on his hip.

"Is she now? How's that going?" Patrick asked

Kira made a face "it's hard. The words don't' want to form properly in my mouth."

The men grinned while Lacus laughed. Kira was just too cute.

Athrun scowled on behalf of his best friend "it's true, the words aren't coming"

Kira flashed him a smile before squirming to be put down. Patrick let Athrun down as well before he complained.

"Let's hear what the problem is then," Kira's father said as he sat down beside his wife

"But Uncle Haruma, it's going to be bad." Athrun complained

'Haruma,' Lacus thought 'Kira's parents are Haruma and Caridad Yamato. Where have I heard those names before?'

"If it is, then your auntie can help you fix it. If you don't try it out once yourselves then she has no idea where you're struggling." The older man pointed out.

Lenore nodded in agreement "I know you boys want it to be perfect but we need to hear the imperfect one first so that we can work at making it perfect." She got up and retrieved a radio from the other side of the room along with a disc. "You'll be singing to the instrumental since your poor teacher won't be able to play for you on the piano. Just remember when you sing what it is that you want people to feel from your song. What is it that you want to convey to them using the words of the requiem? When you recognise that then everything will come together."

Lacus could see that Athrun was confused by his mother's words but that Kira had understood the concept. She also knew that this was a harmonic taught technique and wondered if the late Mrs Zala had been taught by one since she clearly wasn't one herself.

Lenore saw that Kira had understood what she was telling them and held out her hand to him "Kira, would you like to give it a go first?"

The amethyst-eyed boy was startled but nodded all the same.

"Yay Kira!" Athrun cheered to encourage his shy friend as Lenore led him to stand in front of the windows so that he was facing them all.

Kira wiped his hands on his pants nervously before looking at the encouraging faces of his family. Thinking back on his aunt's words, he concentrated on the serene, gentle feeling the requiem stirred in him when his mother sang for him. Giving a nod that he was ready he closed his eyes and began to sing

_Hoshi ni yuki ni kioku ni  
Kimi no ashiato sagasu  
Doka towa no yasuragi  
Koko wa yume no tochu de_

_Osanai tsubasa de sakamichi kaketeku_  
_Michi kara hagurete kono me wo tojiteku_

As Kira sang, the feeling grew inside him and he projected it as well as he could in the words that his mouth formed, just like his aunty had said.

_Hoshi ni yuki ni kioku ni  
Kimi no ashiato sagasu  
Doka towa no yasuragi  
Koko wa yume no tochu de_

Athrun was awash in the gentle feelings his friend was giving off and he couldn't help but let himself be drawn in further and further as his best friend sang

_Itsuka subete modorite  
Sora no hate hitorikiri  
Anata ga matsu yasuragi  
Hikari no ato nokoshite_

_Osanai tsubasa de sakamichi kaketeku_  
_Michi kara hagurete kono me wo tojiteku_

_Yume ni ai ni kokoro ni  
Kimi no ashiato sagasu  
Towa no hikari nokoshite  
Yurugi no nai tsubasa de_

_Towa no ai wo anata ni… (1)_

Kira released the last note and opened his eyes to gaze at everyone. The adults were looking at him with unguarded shock while Athrun... Athrun seemed miles away, still caught up in the magic of his song. That caught him by surprise and he swayed, suddenly exhausted. Caridad snapped out of her stupor and rushed to the rapidly deteriorating four-year old. When she had gathered him up, Kira started crying "mama I don't feel so good." She absently noted that Athrun had crawled into Patrick's lap and was complaining about the same thing.

"He's burning up Haruma," she said in a scared voice as she felt his forehead. "What just happened, Kira's been fine all day."

Lenore rushed to her husband's side before noting that Athrun too had a fever. "Get them out of here, I'll call the doctor" she said worriedly before hurrying from the room.

The other adults followed her quickly, trying to comfort the suddenly ailing children.

Once the door had closed Lacus made her way to where Kira had been standing. Immediately she was awash with the serenity Kira had projected while he was singing. This erased any lingering doubts she might have had, Kira was a harmonic.

"So now you know. About Kira I mean," a voice said from behind her.

Lacus spun around and met the cool gaze of Lenore Zala. Her face was older but not by much Lacus guessed.

"I must admit, their illness gave us quite a scare but I never truly forgot what happened that day, even though the memory did eventually fade as memories tend to do."

The older woman gestured for her to sit "I'm guessing you know what happened?"

Lacus pondered on what she had seen "Kira used Athrun's aura as his anchor as he was the only one closest to him in age in the music room. It would have been easier to focus his projection to Athrun rather than one of the adults as that wavelength would have been similar to his own. You and the other adults would have only felt the stray feelings which Athrun was not catching. Kira must have been projecting quite strongly for you all to have felt it as strongly as you did and for the both of them to fall ill so severely."

Lenore nodded before preparing tea for them from the set which suddenly appeared on the table. This last occurrence though was what finally got Lacus curious enough to ask what had been plaguing her since she'd arrived

"umm Mrs Zala where exactly am I and how are you able to see me now?"

Lenore looked up and gave the songstress a smile "don't fear my dear you'll wake up soon enough, I just needed you to know a few things about my boys before an irreversible mistake is made. To answer your question, you're currently in Kira's dreamscape but in a subconscious area that he is not actively aware of. As to how I can see you, since I'm the one who called you, I should be able to see you ne?"

"Called…" Lacus began only for realisation to dawn "the song."

Lenore's smile grew and she took the shaken songstress' hand "yes my dear. Kira's song brought you here; the song that I wrote for him."

She gave Lacus' hand a squeeze before sitting back. "You see there are things happening in this war that could be the end of us but you, Kira and a few others have the power to prevent that, to change it in the most peaceful manner possible."

Lacus looked sceptical "I don't want to fight in this war."

Lenore gave a short laugh before handing out the tea "my darling, violence is not always the answer. Sometimes, it's never the answer."

The two women sipped their tea in a comfortable silence and Lacus began to relax in the presence of Athrun's mother.

"Athrun must be there," Lenore suddenly said "Athrun has to be present when you conduct Kira's test."

The blue-haired held up a hand to stall Lacus' questions "believe me it's for your own sakes. I know Kira won't be hurt during the testing." She paused as she decided on how much to reveal "as far as I can remember, the test covers musicality, sensitivity as well as projection ability."

Lacus nodded, that's what she'd been told after her own test

Lenore then sighed "Kira sings from his heart, that's how I taught him music. That's what I tried to teach Athrun that day. And at the moment, his heart is crying. He's been hurt badly by people who were supposed to protect him for a long period of time. His heart grieves and he projects that whenever he sings. When he enters that room for testing there will be three of you who are particularly sensitive to Kira's singing. Alone, his feelings will overwhelm you completely. A collapse from an overload is inevitable" the lady Zala took a sip of tea before placing the cup down and turned to look at a picture on the mantle place.

"One thing that has remained untouched however is Kira's love for my son. It was plain for the four of us to see as they grew up that the end result was always going to be marriage. That's why Kira must sing for Athrun at that test. Athrun knows about the circumstances Kira sings under. Let the two of them begin mending their relationship during that period of time; let Kira re-anchor himself. You'll be astounded by what Kira can do when his heart is in the right place."

The scenery began blurring and Lacus' eyes grew heavy. The last thing she saw before sleep overcame her was the picture Lenore's gaze rested upon. Kira's cheeks were tinted red as he and Athrun shyly kissed in front of a Shinto priest as their matching wedding bands glinted in the sunlight.

* * *

Since they were already comfortably seated, the worried three decided to stay in the study as they waited for Kira and Lacus to wake. Athrun was busy making adjustments to Torii while two older men caught up. He remembered the determination that had filled him when he first created the mechanical toy that had brought Kira comfort during their separation. It had taken him three long weeks to finish what he still believed was his greatest creation. As he closed up Torii's body a knock sounded before a maid opened the door.

"Chairmen Clyne, the mistress is awake and asking for you." She said with a curtsey. They all stood and Torii flew to his shoulder, cocking its head curiously.

"Thank you Silvia, we shall be up soon" Clyne said with a gracious nod

The maid curtsied once more before leaving. "Well it looks as if our sleeping beauties have awakened" Clyne joked as they made their way to Lacus' room

* * *

"I'm fine daddy, just a bit tired" Lacus insisted as her father checked her over. On the other side of the room, Kira captured Athrun in a strong embrace before falling back into a doze. Patrick also gave the brunette a quick check as Athrun eased Kira back to sleep.

"You had a hard fall sweetheart, I just want to make sure you're not injured" Clyne replied as he sat back.

"I'm fine," Lacus repeated as she gazed at her temporary roommate "it looks like Kira was affected more than I was."

"What happened to the two of you?" Athrun asked as he stroked Kira's baby soft hair. "First you sang Kira's song as if you'd known it all your life when in reality it's only about a week old and then the both of you collapsed without warning. And the atmosphere during the song; that was the most terrifying but moving thing I've ever experienced."

Lacus thought back to those moments, to the feelings of hope the song generated and she couldn't help but agree with Athrun. But they were deviating from the matter at hand.

"I was called," she replied simply, knowing it wouldn't make any sense to them but feeling as if that was the only way she could describe her experience.

"Called?" the fathers echoed in confusion

"By the song," she further explained "Kira's song called to me."

"Why?" Patrick asked "and how did you know the words?"

"It was meant for her," a tired voice interjected. Everyone's gazed landed on Kira as Athrun supported him "the vocal section was meant for her. She sings just like Auntie Lenore did."

Patrick gasped, his eyes widening and his mind running rampant at the revelation "Lenore was a harmonic? But she never told me, never gave me…"

"No," Lacus interrupted "Mrs Zala is not a harmonic. She would have known what happened when Kira sang the requiem if she was."

Patrick stood abruptly and stalked to Lacus' bed "how do you know about that," he hissed as his gaze shifted to the two confused teens.

"Patrick," Clyne warned and the elder Zala backed off

"My apologies miss Clyne except no one knew about that except four people. Three of whom are now deceased."

"Apology accepted chairman Zala. As to how I came about my knowledge, I saw the incident for myself." Lacus replied calmly.

Athrun looked on in confusion "Dad, what are you talking about. Mom never taught us the requiem until we started at the Lunar Prep and she always sang along with us."

Patrick ran a hand though his hair and sat back down next to the two. "That's because of what happened the first time she tried to teach that song to you. Can you remember anything about the first time you took music lessons with Lenore?"

"Yeah we were seven," Athrun replied even more confused "Kira had deserted me during hide and seek for piano lessons." The boy in question gave Athrun's thigh a feeble smack before nodding in agreement.

Patrick shook his head "no that might be the first time you remember but it certainly wasn't your first music lesson. Frankly, I would have been surprised if you'd remembered; you both were very ill for a while. You even missed the show and tell that you'd been excited for."

"_You'll be singing to the instrumental since your poor teacher won't be able to play for you on the piano. Just remember when you sing what it is that you want people to feel from your song. What is it that you want to convey to them using the words of the requiem? When you recognise that then everything will come together."_

Athrun raised a hand to his head as his mother's words repeated "we were four." He said quietly "when we first learnt the requiem. We were four years old."

Patrick nodded, giving his son a concerned glance "after Kira sang, the two of you took ill with a fever that wouldn't drop. Your mothers were distraught over what happened and only taught you the song again when you were older. Even then, Lenore wouldn't allow you to sing unaccompanied, fearing you'd take sick again."

"I fail to see how this is relevant," Clyne interjected, gaining everyone's attention

"I was called to Kira's dreamscape daddy," Lacus explained "I saw what happened when Kira and Athrun tried to learn the requiem and then afterwards I spoke to Mrs Zala. She was the one who'd called me, said that she needed to explain something about Kira's test for our own safety."

Athrun gave Lacus a look of disbelief while Patrick paced thoughtfully "Lacus, my mother was killed on Junius seven. There's no way you could have spoken to her."

The songstress shrugged, unperturbed "okay, believe what you want but I'm telling you what happened. She stressed that you be present at Kira's testing Athrun. So I shall be following through with that recommendation."

"What test?" Kira asked half asleep, his eyes closed. Seeing that Lacus was also beginning to fade, Patrick tucked Kira back in, motioning for Athrun to remain as he was. Clyne also made his daughter lie back down and smoothed her hair from her face

"We'll discuss this again when you wake again, but for now sleep, it's been a long day." Patrick said softly. "We're going to be in another council meeting until this evening. We'll finish off then."

* * *

"I think I might need to make a call to our doctor" Clyne said as the two men headed towards the meeting room, hoping their fellow councilmen were still around for an emergency meeting "Lacus seems to have hit her head quite hard despite her insistences that she's fine."

When Patrick didn't respond, Clyne stopped walking and gave his friend an incredulous look "surely you don't believe her Patrick"

Patrick sighed and scrubbed his face tiredly "I know it sounds bizarre Siegel but everything Lacus said was true. And there was no way for her to gain the knowledge otherwise because, as I said before, only four people knew about that day and three of them are now deceased. And I myself never told anyone about what happened. The only explanation is that she somehow saw Kira's memory of the incident. And if we believe that, then why should we disbelieve that she spoke to my late wife."

Clyne ran a hand through his hair in frustration "This is crazy Patrick; even coordinators cannot make contact with the dead."

Patrick put a friendly hand on his shoulder "I know but what other explanation do we have."

* * *

"The child is astounding. What else are we going to learn about him?" Eileen Canaver exclaimed when Patrick and Siegel reported what they suspected. Luckily, most of the council hadn't yet left the Clyne estate and the emergency meeting was easily called.

Patrick shot her a glare "apparently a lot since it appears as if Blue Cosmos has not left him in peace since my family and I immigrated."

The blonde blushed but didn't rise to Patrick's sarcastic remark. Tad Elsman put a hand up in defence "I'm sure Eileen didn't mean it like that Patrick, just that there's a lot of mystery surrounding Mister Yamato and we were just astounded that he could possibly be a harmonic. They're not common, I think Siegel's daughter Lacus was the last true harmonic we've found in our term as the Supreme council."

"That brings us back to the purpose of this meeting" Clyne interrupted "he'll need to be tested so that it can be noted on his citizenship. Also we should contact Asha about training as well as an instrumental; that is if the poor boy wants to receive extra training."

"He would benefit greatly from that training," Kasim supplied "the therapy that is offered is the best on offer to anyone. Of course this is understandable as harmonics project their emotions through song. I think that could be just the type of help Mister Yamato needs to begin the healing process."

Ezalia nodded in agreement "well since we're all here already, we can conduct the testing tomorrow providing…"

"No."

Ezalia looked startled "Patrick?"

The grey-haired man fixed her with a steely gaze "The testing. It can't be done tomorrow. Kira collapsed this afternoon and is not fit for something as stressful as testing. Not to mention he had his interrogation just this morning and hasn't even been informed about harmonics and what it entails if he is one. I'm putting my foot down on this one; that child will not be tested tomorrow."

"I agree with Patrick on this one. Kira is not fit for testing; he could barely stay awake when we saw him and Lacus earlier. I propose that we give him and ourselves three days. That way everybody is organised and filled in on the situation," Clyne paused "it also gives us time to contact Asha and construct a panel. Patrick, I assume you want to be excluded from consideration."

Patrick nodded; his body still tense. This time he wouldn't fail Kira.

* * *

It was well after supper when the three teens woke. Athrun frowned at the weight on his chest before he remembered Kira's unbreakable embrace. He placed a kiss on the brunette's forehead before wriggling out; nature called after all.

When he returned Lacus was sitting up, running her hands through her hair to try to untangle the soft waves while Kira blinked sleepily at her. He chuckled before helping the smaller boy sit up. Kira tensed but otherwise didn't fight him.

"Come on Koishii, you've slept most of the day away; time to get up" Athrun coaxed as he rubbed Kira's arms.

"Your Kira is adorable, Athrun" Lacus commented as she brushed out her hair "I can see why you try so hard to protect him."

Athrun smiled softly as Kira yawned and stumbled out of bed. "Bathroom's to your right Kiki."

When the door closed, Athrun turned towards his pink-haired friend "people like you and Kira do not belong in a war, especially one as senseless as this one. I'd do anything within my power to protect you both."

Lacus gave her friend a smile before turning back to the mirror to finish her hair.

When Kira returned to Lacus' room, the adults were once again present. Patrick was discussing something with Lacus while Clyne stood by the window, silently observing everybody. Athrun met him at the door with his crutches, the pain in his back steadily growing from having left without them.

"Realised you'd left these in your half-awake state. I can carry you the rest of the way in if you're tired?" Athrun offered

Kira yawned but accepted the crutches from his fiancé, slowly making his way back to the bed.

Clyne turned from the window to watch the small waif of a boy. Despite having slept the whole afternoon and well into the evening Kira still looked beyond tired, the dark circles under his eyes highlighted by the violet orbs that marked him as a coordinator. The chairman thought back to what little he had learnt that morning and his heart went out to the child; no human being deserved to go through what Kira had experienced for years.

Patrick was also watching Kira as he spoke to the pink-haired songstress. He was happy that Kira managed to get some uninterrupted rest this afternoon and hoped that he would be able to manage more sleep without the interruption of nightmares.

Once Kira had settled, the adults gave the teens their undivided attention, but it was obvious that the focus was mainly on Kira.

"Kiki," Patrick started "we want to talk to you about what happened earlier in the music room. It has come out that you could possibly be a harmonic because of the way your music affected Lacus. Do you know what a harmonic is?"

Kira shook his head no while trying to calm his racing heart. Never before had his music affected another person like it had Lacus. It scared him to think that he could accidentally hurt someone.

Lacus gave the brunette a comforting smile before explaining. It took the better part of the hour but eventually Kira was caught up and was once more calm.

"Now the council has allowed you to have visitors who would be able to make you feel more comfortable during the testing." Clyne said as the conversation began winding down "do you know who you want to invite?"

A quick glance at his fiancé and Kira knew exactly who he wanted there at his testing.

Clyne caught the look before chuckling "it was a given that Athrun was going to be there. Is there anyone else you would like there Kira?"

Kira though for a moment before answering "I'd like to invite Athrun's teammates. They've been so nice to me. Plus they're the only other people I know besides everyone here."

Athrun smiled at that, glad that Kira trusted his team enough to want them at his testing. This just showed him that everything would be alright in the end.

* * *

_Dear Nicol_

_Kira and I would like to invite you as a guest to Kira's harmonic testing to take place at the Clyne mansion in two days' time. Please send notification if you are able to make it. _

_Sincerely_

_Athrun and Kira_

Nicol looked at the invite in astonishment before a smile broke out. He was glad that Kira trusted him enough to invite him to his testing. He liked Athrun's petite fiancé and really hoped that they all could be very good friends in the future.

The ringing of the video phone interrupted his musings and he quickly answered only to see Dearka on the other line.

"Hey Nicol, you get an invite too?" the blonde said by way of a greeting. In reply, Nicol held up the invite card in his hand.

The mobile suit pilots laughed "Thought it was a wedding invite initially but then I actually read it." Dearka continued with a grin

"It'll happen when it happens, don't be in such a hurry" Nicol said diplomatically "I'm just surprised Kira trusts us enough to allow us to be there. I've heard these things are usually very intimate."

"I for one will be there to show my support" the Buster's pilot replied "will you be going?"

Nicol nodded before glancing back at the invitation card "do you think Yzak will go. I'm sure Kira and Athrun have invited us all."

Dearka shrugged "Beats me, I tried him but there was no answer. I think he will though; he seems to genuinely like Kira for all that he doesn't want to show it."

* * *

Yzak tore his gaze from the moonlit garden before looking over the invite in his hands once more. He had ignored Dearka's call earlier not wanting to speak to the blonde while his own feelings were so conflicted. Part of him wanted to decline; the date was uncomfortably close to Carmen's anniversary and in the days leading up to it, he usually avoided any and all contact with other people.

The other part was honoured to have been invited to something as intimate as a harmonic testing. Visitors were usually not permitted owing to the intensity of any feelings projected as the candidate sang so to be trusted enough for Kira to invite him to his own testing meant a lot to the white-haired pilot.

'Do I go or not?' he pondered as his gaze returned to the silver-lit world 'am I ready to re-embrace what I have locked away and hidden for so long?'

As he stood there, his thoughts turned to another brunette who had taught him what it meant to be a musician; her black hair shimmering in the afternoon sun as her fingers caressed the violin strings.

* * *

Kira glanced around at the various people present in the music room. Athrun's team and their Commander sat on one side of the room, everyone giving him encouraging smiles while his Uncle Patrick, Chairman Clyne and the other council members sat on the other side of the room. In front of him was the judging table. Lacus had been chosen as one of the judges along with two other people he had never met. Beside them where five council members while Athrun sat at the very end of the table within his line of sight. From the panel's table Athrun gave him a soft smile; 'relax and sing from your heart' the blunette mouthed.

"Okay Mister Yamato, Asha will play the piece to you once through before you begin; just so that you can get a feel for the tempo and rhythm. You may ask her to stop at any time. After that, you may begin." One of the council members informed him.

Kira nodded in understanding and the council member signalled for Asha, who was apparently the music trainer, to play the recording. Immediately a soft ballad filled the room, wrapping Kira in its embrace. The song reminded him of Athrun, the warmth and safety that he represented, and his eyes sought those of his fiancé. Something told him that this music was meant for the two of them; to begin to heal what was hurt by the years of separation. Without breaking eye-contact with the older boy who was everything to him, he signalled Asha to stop before allowing his bangs to cover his eyes.

* * *

Gould couldn't hide his shock as the young teen stopped the recording barely into the introduction. Around him his fellow council members murmured in slight discontent. What was happening here? The musicians too seemed slightly unsettled by how quickly the recording was stopped but the rules were as they were.

"Are you ready to begin Mister Yamato?" Yuri Amalfi asked. A barely visible nod and Asha started the music once more. The piano and violin introduction began and they saw Kira take a breath before lifting clouded amethyst eyes.

_Sweet love, sweet love  
Trapped in your love  
I've opened up, unsure I can trust  
My heart and I were buried in dust  
Free me, free us  
You're all I need when I'm holding you tight  
If you walk away I will suffer tonight_

_I found a man I can trust_  
_And boy, I believe in us_  
_I am terrified to love for the first time_  
_Can you see that I'm bound in chains?_  
_I've finally found my way_  
_I am bound to you_  
_I am bound to you_

Stunned silence encompassed the room; everyone watching the small teen as he sang. Kira's song was painful to listen to; the words and emotion piercing everyone with its brute honesty. The early morning light seemed to wrap around the brunette as he let himself became more and more unguarded, giving him an otherworldly glow.

_So much, so young, I've faced on my own  
Walls I built up became my home  
I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us  
Sweet love, so pure  
I catch my breath with just one beating heart  
And I embrace myself, please don't tear this apart_

Athrun couldn't breathe, the feelings Kira was sending him were humbling. The unconditional love and trust the brunette was offering him made tears spring into his eyes and he found himself shaking from repressed emotion. 'Kira, my one, my only; I don't deserve you but I vow to work endlessly to be worthy of your love'

_I found a man I can trust  
And boy, I believe in us  
I am terrified to love for the first time  
Can't you see that I'm bound in chains?  
I've finally found my way_

_I am bound to you_  
_I am bound to_

_Suddenly the moment's here  
I embrace my fears  
All that I have been carrying all these years  
Do I risk it all? Come this far just to fall?  
Fall_

Kira let the guard around his heart fall completely; allowing Athrun to see everything that he currently was, broken shards and all. As his song climaxed, he put his trust into the blunette. He allowed himself to be totally vulnerable knowing that if anyone could heal his broken soul, it would be Athrun.

_I can trust and boy, I believe in us  
I am terrified to love for the first time  
Can you see that I'm bound in chains?  
And finally found my way_

_I am bound to you_  
_I am, ooh I am_  
_I'm bound to you_

* * *

**A/N cont. :**** ok now to continue what I was saying before: from this chapter onwards there will be a bit of a break in the song inserts. Not that I've given up on it, just the plot doesn't allow for it in the coming chapters. Also it will be a while until an explanation about Carmen will be given- another two chapters I think. She's not a character (major or minor) that will feature in the story so you can breathe a sigh of relief; I think we might have had our fill of OCs for a while. **

**The names for the council member I found on Gundam Wiki so I'm guessing they're the correct ones. Also the pace of the story will start picking up; I'm sorry that it's taken so long to get where we are. **

**Oh yes before I forget in regards to (1) some of the lyrics are mispronounced since Kira and Athrun are only four and had just learnt the song with Japanese not even being their native tongue-yet. I didn't know how to write that out though so I left it as is. Just use imagination I guess ^.^;**

**Anyway that's enough blab from me; really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I made it longer than normal. Another thing that might help tide you over while I write exams is the competition I'll be running. More info is on my profile.**

**Until the next chapter**

**Ciao **

**P.S. look I nearly forgot- cyber cookies to anyone who can figure out what happened to Kira as the testing started.**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: You lucky devils, two chapters and a side story in one day! Yes, yes I am that awesome. Actually no, I just did some writing over the semester break and was too lazy to upload the chapters as I finished them so for one day only, a triple update! **

**Now there are things in this chapter that I'm sure are incorrect, Mu's torture technique for example, however due to the nature of these things, I couldn't exactly Google it to make sure I was getting it right; I'd be put on the government watch list for sure so I'm calling creative license. You have a problem with it, you research it and get put on your government watch list. I'm not about to take a risk like that for some fun writing.**

** The mass update will be the last for a while; semester has started again and I'm looking for an apartment. My free time is going to be non-existent so this should tide you over until September break where I might get a chance to write.**

**OK, enough ramble- on with the show! This chapter is a lot darker than the others so read with caution. Oh and this is also unBeta'd so there might be some mistakes. I'll fix those in due time.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED.**

* * *

Sai's screams intermingled with Kira's causing Miriallia to take refuge under her covers and pillow. Tears streamed down her face and she fought not to break down, knowing that was exactly what their sadistic captor wanted. On the other side of the room, she could hear Flay's quiet whimpers and pleas for the sounds to stop but experience told her that they still had another ten minutes of sound track before silence would return.

Over the past six weeks the situation they'd found themselves in had steadily degenerated into the horror show they were living at the moment. Initially their duties had gotten more difficult and their food rations got smaller and poorer in quality. Once it was evident that they'd truly lost the Versailius' trail, and with it any chance of recovering Kira and the Strike, the attitudes of the Archangel leaders hardened.

The next day, they were moved from their upper level quarters to some of the lower rooms in the ship. Flay and she had just finished unpacking when La Flaga had entered their room.

_Flashback_

"Are your new quarters to your liking ladies?" the blonde lieutenant asked as he stood in the doorway, effectively blocking any escape.

The two girls just nodded, not wanting to risk invoking the man's temper. They'd already seen that he had no qualms about striking a female.

"The best thing about them is that they're completely sound proof," Mu continued as he entered the room completely and shut the door "no one will be able to hear a thing from down here. And without your little coordinator friend here to protect you, we can finally get 'acquainted'"

While he had been talking, Mu had steered Miriallia closer to Flay and was backing the two girls into a corner of the room. When her back met the wall, Flay clutched at her companion fearfully; they were trapped.

Mu reached a hand towards the red-haired girl, who flinched away. His other ran up Miriallia's exposed thigh and stopped at the edge of her skirt. The brunette closed her eyes, tensing and wishing that she had never chosen the Archangel to do her final project on. She felt hot breath on her neck and Flay trembling next to her. Pounding on their door saved them and as La Flaga stepped back, Miriallia's legs couldn't hold her weight any longer and she slid to the floor, feeling Flay's arms come around her shoulders.

"Lieutenant, you are needed on the Bridge. Ensign Badgiruel says that now's not the time for fun and games; we still need to win the war" the runner relayed

"Bitch," La Flaga groused before stalking towards the door "well it's been fun ladies but we'll have to continue this later. We still need to get acquainted with each other."

_End flashback_

Flay's whimpers quieted as the recording finished. A quick glance at the clock showed half past one in the morning. She squeezed her eyes together to supress the tears. An early scare meant that either they'd be getting a visit or another taste of the soundtrack. The restless turning from the other occupant in the room caused Miriallia to speak up.

"Flay you okay?" she asked softly

A shifting of the covers and Flay emerged. Miriallia could see her tears even in the dim light. Getting out of her bed and grabbing a pillow, she crossed the room and slipped in beside the red-head. Wrapping her arms around the girl who'd unknowingly got them into this mess, she tried to comfort her. Flay broke down and sobbed into her pillow, mumbling apologies all the while. Miriallia said nothing but continued to hold the spoilt girl; her own tears gathering in her eyes. She hoped that they reached Orb soon; she wasn't sure how much more of this they could all take.

* * *

Tolle jerked awake suddenly, unsure what had woken him. He turned his head to see that the light in the bathroom was on. The sound of retching was the next thing that he perceived and he knew immediately whom it was.

Tolle gave Sai his space while he fished out the extra blanket that Flay had gotten from one of the other rooms in the Archangel and some aspirin that he'd happened to have in his pack while they were busy with the project. The previous day, Sai'd been shocked no less than eight times during his interrogation and Tolle knew that he'd have about the same today. Lieutenant La Flaga had been trying to pull any and all information about Kira but the two boys hadn't been making it easy. Kuzzey hadn't been called upon as often as they had so he'd taken to being their medic whenever they came back from a session. Also, they hadn't seen the girls in a couple of weeks and hoped that La Flaga hadn't laid a hand on them.

The bathroom light clicked off and Tolle handed the older boy the extra blanket and the aspirin, knowing that it would help with the residual pain.

"You okay Sai?" Kuzzey whispered into the darkness

"Yeah, I'm cool," came the tired sounding reply.

"You think the girls are fine?" Tolle asked

Sai turned until he was lying on his back. His thoughts turned to his fiancée and his project partner and what Flay had told them had happened the first day they were down here. He sighed "I hope so Tolle, I sincerely hope so."

* * *

Miriallia yawned as she made her way to the Bridge for her shift. After their early morning wake up she hadn't been able to go back to sleep for fear of a visit from the blonde lieutenant. Her thoughts turned to her missing friend and she felt her heart give a painful squeeze 'I hope Kira's okay even with the ZAFT soldiers. At least it will be better than what was happening to him here.'

She paused at the Bridge doors, steeling herself for the glares she knew she would be subjected to. At least she'd see one of the guys on the shift today even though they wouldn't be able to communicate.

"Hey pretty kitty," a cold voice said from behind her. "The lieutenant would like to meet with you in the downstairs briefing room after your shift. Then maybe later you and I can get together for a little…chat"

The brunette held still as hands roamed her body before the officer punched in the access code and entered the room. She cleared her eyes of the few tears that sprung up before squaring her shoulders and entering.

* * *

Tolle forced himself to remain impassive as he was strapped into his chair facing a mirror. Behind him, he saw Mu preparing the electrodes that would soon be attached to his chest and back. The grin that the blonde wore was unsettling and spoke of unconditional victory. This was especially confusing since Tolle knew that none of them had given any useful information out about their missing friend.

"Well it seems you and your friends are tougher than you look. Six weeks and you've still managed to keep your silence." Mu said conversationally as he attached the electrodes on Tolle's exposed chest. "That just won't do, it won't do at all; especially since we're due to dock on Artemis within the next twenty-four hours. So here's what we're going to do; you're going to tell me everything I want to know and we'll see about getting you and your band of merry jokers back to Orb or we do this the hard way."

Tolle kept silent, staring at his reflection. Mu sighed before giving the brunette an insincere look of sympathy "the hard way it is then."

The current was stronger than previous sessions and Tolle couldn't hold back his yell as his body jerked. The circuit breaker clicked and the teen panted as he tried to catch his breath. Mu watched on impassively before circling to face him. "Come now it's not that hard; does the coordinator have any allies within ZAFT that he can run to? Family, friends, military connections?"

Tolle remained silent and once again the electricity was switched on. He grit his teeth, drawing blood when he accidentally bit down on his bottom lip. The circuit breaker clicked and Tolle gasped for breath, already feeling his limbs shaking. "For the last time," he gasped out "we're all neutral. We are Orb citizens who had been recruited at our school to take part in a two year long exchange with a technology school in Heliopolis. We want nothing to do with the war."

"And yet, your coordinator friend was able to effortlessly re-write the OS of the Strike in the middle of an attack." Mu injected nastily "Funny that he ended up right in the warehouse where the Gundams were being kept as the attack took place."

Tolle bowed his head. When put like that it would sound suspicious to anyone but Tolle knew Kira, knew that the other boy was painfully shy and detested any sort of fighting. He'd seen Kira's reactions whenever squabbles broke out amongst their group and knew that that kind of reaction could not be faked, even by the best actor in the universe. But how could he reason with a mad man?

"Silent huh, oh well I have another way of making you talk." Mu walked over to the mirror "maybe she'll be able to loosen your lips." The blonde flipped the switch and Tolle's eyes widened in horror when the other side of the mirror showed Miriallia strapped down and wired just as he was. The brunette girl was blinking at the sudden light but she began struggling when her vision cleared and she saw him.

"Tolle," he heard her shout "Tolle, don't tell him anything, I'll be fine."

Mu shook his head with a tsk. "That's not happening sweetheart. And for your disobedience..."

Miriallia screamed as the current to her electrodes was switched on. She writhed in her chair until the circuit breaker cut off the power. Tolle struggled in his seat, desperate to reach her.

"Stop it!" he yelled "don't hurt her you bastard."

Mu smirked and walked until he was standing behind the captive boy's chair. He tipped it back until he made eye contact. "You know what I want, tell me everything you know about your coordinator friend and I'll let her go. I'll even be nice and put you all together again."

"Tolle don't…" Miriallia started before she screamed again as electricity coursed through her body.

"Please, please, I'll talk; just stop hurting Mir." Tolle begged

His chair fell back onto all fours and he heard the circuit breaker in the other room click on. Mu moved to crouch in front of the prone boy "my information," he drawled.

Tolle looked up from the cold blue eyes of the lieutenant into the begging ones of his girlfriend. 'Don't do it,' Miriallia mouthed to him 'we owe Kira that much.'

Tolle looked back at the smirking man before him before his thoughts turned to Kira; Kira who had sacrificed his own safety to ensure that they remained unharmed; Kira with his painfully shy, slightly sad smile; Kira who was willing to fight his fiancé to ensure their safe passage. He spat in La Flaga's face "rot in hell."

Mu stood, wiping the slightly bloody saliva from his face, all traces of humour gone. "Wrong answer" he said coldly before the current was switched on and Tolle screamed. Vaguely he heard Miriallia's screams intermingle with his before all went black.

* * *

In some ways the docking at Artemis was a blessing for the Heliopolis refugees. When they were led off the ship the five teens had been led to a holding cell not much bigger than one of their rooms on the Archangel. The only difference was where there were two or three people in the small space, there were now five people sharing. But at least the interrogation sessions had stopped and they were allowed to remain together.

Miriallia still hadn't recovered from the brief session hours before. When she'd awoken, she'd been in her room with Flay hovering worriedly around her. She had made the mistake of trying to turn onto her side and that's when the pain had hit. Luckily, the red-head had a trash bin nearby because there had been no way that she'd have made it to the bathroom. When she could do nothing more than dry heave, the brunette lay down and tried to calm her shaking limbs.

Flay had then laid hot cloths over her, which she had seen later were some of the other girl's tops. As the stiffness eased slightly, Miriallia had given into her tears. Flay didn't say anything but sat at the head of the bed with the other girl's head in her lap. Gentle fingers had worked through her hair and at that moment Miriallia was very grateful for her presence. She didn't remember much until they were ordered off the ship.

Her friends were watching her closely after Flay had caught them up on what had happened after the session with La Flaga. Tolle admitted that he'd also woken up in considerable pain but Kuzzey had managed to work most of the stiffness out. They'd tried doing the same for Miriallia but the lack of space and the residual tremors made it difficult, especially since they weren't sure if they were being monitored. In an asteroid filled with military personnel convinced they were harbouring ZAFT secrets, it was only common sense to avoid anything that they might interpret as being threatening.

"Do you think Kira will be okay with those people?" Flay asked quietly. Her eyes had been truly opened over the past month and a half and she could see that it wasn't just coordinators who could be cruel.

"Whatever happens, it can't be worse than what he had been enduring to keep us safe," Miriallia injected "To think he still went out in the Strike after he'd been…" she trailed off remembering the last time she'd seen her friend.

"If Kira's able, he'll send help for us; he wouldn't just leave us here. He's too kind hearted for that and he also tried so hard to keep us safe." Tolle reassured them.

"My worry is what happens to us now. Even if Kira manages to get us help, he'd have no way to trace us and who knows where we'll be moved to. They'd have the advantage and might even be able to trap any rescue party." Sai pointed out. "What we'd need to do is send word to him somehow but that's impossible without an ally on our side."

"And these people would sooner hand us to Lieutenant La Flaga than help" Kuzzey groused

The others nodded gravely before lapsing back into silence.

* * *

"Your reports Lieutenant La Flaga, Ensign Badgiruel." Garcia stated once the officers were seated "Have you been able to find out more about the coordinator?"

"Nothing personal," Natarle replied "All we have are his public records. The other teens that were captured with him refuse to speak, even with…persuasion."

"Personally I think they might be coordinators themselves." Mu interjected, leaning in his chair "most _normal_ teens would have spilled the beans by now but they've endured our persuasion methods for six weeks with nothing more coming out than that they're neutral and were supposedly working on some final project with their professor on the Archangel."

"And is there any chance of the coordinator sending help to retrieve them?" Garcia asked, resting his chin on his joined hands.

"It's possible Commander," Mu grudgingly admitted "Although his injuries were severe, they weren't lethal…yet. I have my doubts though, we used the compound on his chair and that should slowly destroy his nervous system. Pretty soon, he won't be of much use to them."

"Regrettable that we had to lose him but the other one is still an option." Garcia sighed "We'll keep the five detained and see if maybe we can change their minds about volunteering information. News of their survival hasn't been sent to ORB has it?"

"No Commander" the two intoned

The man smiled evilly "Oh well, so sad there were no survivors from Heliopolis. It truly is a tragedy."

* * *

Guilt had become a constant companion for Murrue since that first week when she'd spoken with the Heliopolis teens. Thoughts about 'what if' chased her into her dreams and she'd often woken up in a cold sweat; unseeing eyes in a young face fading into the darkness of the room.

After that first meeting she hadn't seen the three again which was understandable given the hostile attitudes that greeted them. She was working on some exterior damage done to the mobile armor when she heard two other mechanics talking below her.

"I'm telling you, there's no way those kids are normal. No teenager would be able to endure the lieutenant's electroshock techniques. They're coordinators I tell you."

"I hear you man. Good thing they're going to be held until they're able to extract everything from them. It'll be a huge advantage to us, time to level the playing field a bit."

Horror blossomed on Murrue's face. The EA were very lax in following the legislation regarding prisoners of war, frankly they didn't care, and to think that it was mere children they would be holding hostage…

Tears streaked down her face as she felt her heart break. "What have I done?" she whispered brokenly.

* * *

**A/N: what are you still doing here, there's another chapter!**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: More Mou Ichido, woo hoo. Not a long author's note, just a reminder that I still have the fan art competition going. If you have nothing better to do, please give it a bash. Oh and since I once again have access to my youtube account, the playlist is being updated alongside the story. Check it out under lupinblanche.**

**Enjoy the chapter, unBeta'd as it is. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED or the song used in this chapter, pretty as it is.**

* * *

Athrun was out of his seat and gathering Kira in his arms as soon as those mesmerizing amethyst eyes were hidden by chocolate brown hair as Kira bowed his head. Gently he raised reluctant eyes towards his own before placing a gentle kiss upon those tempting lips, pouring everything he felt into it. He didn't push, allowing Kira complete control. The brunette stood stiffly at first before hesitantly kissing back. Thin arms came around Athrun's neck and Kira pressed closer, soaking up the love flowing from the taller boy.

Breaking the kiss Kira looked Athrun in the eyes and gave him a shy smile before burying his head into his chest. He held on tighter while fighting the urge to break the hold. Despite everything that had happened he knew that Athrun still loved him; he'd felt it strongly for those few seconds that they were connected. For now that was enough to sooth his damaged soul.

* * *

Patrick watched Athrun and Kira with tears in his eyes. The two of them still had a ways to go before their relationship was repaired but he knew that when everything was said and done, they'd be stronger as a couple for it.

He stopped Rau from approaching them, "Let them have their moment; they deserve it. I think we need to help restore order don't you think?"

"Sir," Rau said with a smile before moving towards Asha. He helped the purple-haired woman into a seat before leaving to find a glass of water for her.

Patrick made his way towards Siegel, who was busy trying to calm Lacus down. The poor girl had gotten a stronger dose of Kira's feelings than the other judges as she had been seated next to Athrun towards the end of the table. The underlying sadness had overwhelmed her, bringing her to tears. He crouched down and tried to comfort his friend's daughter.

"Miss Lacus there's no need for your tears; Kira and Athrun are strong and their love is pure. It has been years in the making and I have been privileged to see it grow," Lacus sniffled but seemed to be getting calmer "It's tragic that they were separated and that Kira has been hurt the way he has but believe me, it warms my heart to know that they will make it through whatever comes their way together. Just take a look at them; you don't see a love like that often."

Teary blue eyes took in the two teens that were in a world of their own. Athrun was now seated on the floor with Kira pulled into his lap. The songstress couldn't see Kira's face but she was able to view Athrun whispering something to the smaller brunette. The scene was that of quiet intimacy and it was easy to see that the overwhelming love that Kira felt for her blue-haired friend was returned tenfold.

Lacus returned her father's embrace before sitting up. Siegel gave his friend a smile before leading the now calm girl out of the room.

Soon the chairman was approached by Ezalia, who stood beside him also watching the two teens at the centre of the room.

"The panel have ruled that Mr Yamato is indeed a harmonic and a powerful one at that. All the necessary paperwork will be filed by the end of the coming week." The white-haired woman informed him without looking away from the teens. Patrick nodded but remained silent.

"Go Patrick, we're done here for today. It'll do them some good to get out for a bit after the panel gives their verdict." Ezalia chuckled lightly, "we'll take care of clean up. You just concentrate on those two boys."

Patrick gave a small smile "thank you Ezalia, I think that'll be just what we need."

* * *

A tap on his shoulder made him look up from his whispered conversation with Kira. Seeing his father's smiling face, Athrun nudged Kira until they both gave the elder Zala their full attention.

"That was wonderful Kiki," Patrick complimented giving them both a hug "Your auntie would be proud."

Kira smiled happily, a light blush staining his cheeks "thank you uncle Patrick."

"Now a short recess has been called while everyone gathers themselves," seeing Kira's stricken look Patrick hurried to clarify "no one's hurt Kiki, they're just a bit off kilter since most of them have never heard you sing before. It truly was beautiful."

Athrun pressed a kiss into the messy bangs "you have a talent to invoke emotion when you sing love. Everyone was moved by your song."

"The panel will meet with us a little later to discuss the decision and where to from here onwards. Then I shall be taking you and Athrun out for the rest of the day since today is Shunbun no Hi" Patrick continued "for now I need to go collect a few things and then I'll be back. In the meantime why don't you spend time with your friends, thank them for their support."

The two nodded in understanding and Patrick gave them another hug before leaving.

Athrun stood before giving Kira a hand up "let's go over and see what everyone's been up to since we last met"

Placing his arms around the smaller boy's shoulders, Athrun guided them closer to his teammates.

"Hey guys, glad you managed to make it." Athrun greeted when they were close enough.

Dearka slung an arm around the blunette's shoulders and gave a laugh "as if we'd miss something as important as this. I must admit though, I thought I was being invited to a wedding before I actually read the damn invite."

"You sang very well Kira," Nicol addressed the quiet teen "I'd love for us to do a duet one day."

"Thank you," Kira replied with a shy smile "that means a lot especially with what I've heard about your music. Lacus also said she'd like to sing with me one day. I don't know, maybe I will."

"Where's Yzak though?" Athrun asked, dropping his arm from around Kira and taking his hand instead "I know I saw him with you guys earlier."

The other two looked around but couldn't spot the white-haired teen "he must have slipped out during the commotion, it was pretty intense and he's been acting off for a while now." Dearka mused

"We'll catch up with him later, his mom's still here after all," Nicol said. "you mentioned a Lacus, Kira. Would that be Lacus Clyne the songstress?"

Kira nodded "that's her. She and Athrun have been friends for a while I guess. Have you ever met her?"

"Nope," Dearka shook his head "we were all at the academy full time after we joined. Only Athrun seemed to go home sometimes during the holidays. We could have as well but it's much more fun to remain when the school is emptier; more opportunities to prank people you see."

"I wouldn't know. After the sempai's played that Halloween prank on us in first grade I never wanted to stay at school when it was empty. Remember that Athrun?" Kira asked

Athrun shivered at the memory "that was horrible. But at least we got back at them."

They laughed before Nicol spotted Rau making his way towards them

"Good morning Commander," the green-haired boy greeted once the man had joined them

"Good morning boys, I hope you are well and not causing mischief" Rau replied "Kira, Athrun you have been asked to join the panel in the dining room. Patrick will meet you there."

"Thank you for informing us sir," Athrun replied. Kira nodded as well, shifting to stand closer to Athrun.

Rau turned to face the petite brunette "Kira, you sang beautifully. Thank you for inviting me to share this with you. I hope there can come a day where we can be comfortable with one another if not friends. As the boys will tell you, while I am a hard task master I am not cruel and would never lift a hand to another human being. I would never hurt you; you have my promise on that."

Kira saw the sincerity reflected in the other's face and gave him a tight smile "thank you Commander Le Cruset, I hope one day we can be friends. It's just the memory is too fresh for me at the moment and…" Kira trailed off, not knowing how to explain his dilemma without insulting the man.

"I know child, I resemble La Flaga greatly." Rau said with a smile, knowing that Kira hadn't wanted to voice that for fear of insulting him "maybe one day I shall tell you why that is but for now the panel awaits you."

"Thank you again sir, we shall take our leave." Athrun saluted before leading Kira out of the room.

"They're such a cute couple" Rau commented airily once the two were out of earshot

"Commander!" Nicol exclaimed. Dearka laughed

"Come on Nicol, its true. Even you can admit to that."

"I guess," Nicol replied with a laugh "Just don't let Athrun hear you. He'll scalp us for sure."

The two blondes joined him in laughter.

* * *

"To put it simply, we have never seen a candidate with abilities strong as yours are Mr Yamato and we would like to extend an offer for you to be tutored by Song Mistress Asha." Gould explained "there's no doubt that you are a harmonic and under her tutelage you could become one of the best musicians of our time."

"What exactly will it mean if Kira accepts?" Patrick asked seeing as Kira was in slight shock.

"Besides learning how to harness his gift, Kira will be trained in performance and stage arts as well as further music training in any other instruments he may play. Also part of the training are regular visits with a psychologist who not only helps trainees deal with any past trauma but teaches them about human psychology and how to identify with others using music. This is probably one of the most important parts about the training since that is what distinguishes us from other musicians" Asha explained while looking her potential student over. The poor boy looked overwhelmed and only the comforting presences beside him seemed to keep him calm.

"Do I have to accept?" Kira asked quietly "I am supposed to be graduating this year which was why I was on Heliopolis, completing my final project."

"It's not necessary for you to accept no," Asha clarified "but I think you'd benefit greatly. Even if you accept, you needn't start training immediately. The only problem is because of the length of the sessions, you'd need to stay at our facility three nights out of the week. Sessions run too late to allow trainees to return home each evening."

Kira paled at that "can…can I think about it please?"

"Of course child and thank you for such a touching piece. Very rarely does a candidate manage to reduce me to tears." Asha said with a smile.

Patrick placed a hand on Kira's shoulder, please that Kira hadn't flinched as violently as he had been "I wish for you and Athrun to get changed at meet me in the hall in thirty minutes. Your clothing is in Miss Lacus' room."

The teens rose and with a brief "excuse us" left the room.

* * *

"We're here Kira," Patrick said, breaking the daze he'd been in. When they'd gone to change Athrun had cursed and muttered something about not believing he'd forgotten before Kira had hesitantly asked what was wrong. At his questioning look, Athrun told him that every year for Shunbun no Hi he and his father paid a visit to his mother's grave. Usually he wrote a note for her saying everything that he didn't want to voice and burnt it to allow his thoughts to float up to the heavens to her but with the chaos of the past week it had slipped his mind.

Kira knew Athrun felt bad for forgetting and had been coming up with an alternative for his fiancé. Stepping out of the car he took Athrun's hand before gazing up at the beautiful temple before him, missing the pleased smile Athrun gave him.

"You know Ma wouldn't have had it any other way." Athrun said giving Kira's hand a squeeze.

"Athrun, do you still remember our prep school hymn? The one auntie loved?" Kira asked as they climbed the stairs behind Patrick.

"Of course, I will never forget that hymn. I think it was probably the only time we both sang the same solo. Why do you ask?"

"It would be appropriate then for us to offer auntie a song that she loved on our first visit together wouldn't it?" Kira asked with a shy smile "If you'll sing with me?"

Athrun gave the petite boy a light kiss "I would be honoured."

The three of them made short work of cleaning Lenore's grave, seeing as it well maintained by the temple staff. Patrick gave Kira the flowers to lay while giving Athrun the incense. He positioned and lit the candles and they gave a short prayer to bless Lenore on the equinox.

Patrick then gave the boys their space as they spoke with their aunt/mother respectively. He took refuge under the huge Sakura tree but could still hear strains of their conversation.

"Hi mum" Athrun greeted softly kneeling beside Kira "It's been a while and I'm sorry that I don't have a letter for you this year. It has been crazy with the war starting up again but the most exciting thing has to be finding Kira again. I still love him and I just wish that you could be here with us. We've got something special for you so I'll give Kira a chance before we finish off and Dad gets a turn."

Kira ran his fingers over the engravings, emotions all over the place "I'm back Auntie, Athrun found me. I just wish that we didn't have to meet like this. I'm nearly finished with school and Athrun's been taking very good care of me. Since it's my fault Athrun forgot your letter I thought maybe this year you could have the solo you loved so much. I love you auntie, give my regards to Mama and Papa."

Athrun pressed a kiss to Kira's forehead as the smaller boy wiped his eyes "you okay Kiki?"

Kira gave him a watery smile "I'm okay, are you ready?"

Athrun nodded and started the song

**Felicitas**** cum ****amicis ****communicata ****est**

_**Tristitia **__**est **__**communis**__**dolor**__** cum omnibus **__**amicis**_

_Per __aspera__ vita __beata__est_

_Causa__ vivendi_

**Invenire ****credere ****magni ****momenti**

**Fores ****aperiendi**

_**Fores **__**aperiendi**_

_**Tempus **__**est**_

_Certe_

Patrick wiped away his tears as the boys finished up. Lenore had loved their school hymn and even though the voices were matured, the effect remained the same; perfectly harmonious. 'Oh Lenore, I wish you could be here my love, they have grown to be splendid young men.'

* * *

Athrun sat beneath the Sakura tree pulling Kira into his lap. Despite his best efforts, the brunette had yet to stop crying and Athrun got a feeling that it was more than visiting with his mom.

"In Autumn we should make trip to Orb to visit Auntie Caridad and Uncle Haruma. I'm sure they'd like to hear from you." Athrun suggested as he ran his hair through the baby soft hair of his fiancée. In response Kira started crying harder and pressed his face into Athrun's shoulder.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter koishii?" Athrun asked startled "we can wait if you feel you're not ready yet."

"It's not that," Kira cried "It's just I never even got the chance to say goodbye to them and put them to rest. Their bodies were never recovered."

"Tell me what happened," Athrun asked in a soothing tone

"It was the Tanabata festival and I'd been selected as one of the solo dancers in performances. Unfortunately, it was unusually cold and some of the roads had iced. Apparently the car skidded off the road and into the main river bridging the city and the countryside. Divers searched for two days but couldn't find anything. They thought the current had swept them out to sea. They recovered the car though." Kira pressed closer, his voice thick with tears "Daddy was usually very careful about ice on the roads but I'd been so excited about the festival and my performance that he must have been rushing so that he and mama could get there on time. It's my fault they died and I can't even tell them how sorry I am."

Athrun gathered Kira close while letting him cry himself out. His heart grieved for what had happened to his aunt and uncle as well as for Kira who couldn't even lay them to rest and achieve some form of closure. "It wasn't your fault Kiki and I'm sure Auntie and Uncle wouldn't want you to feel guilty over this; they loved you very much and must have been just as excited to see your performance as you had been. I'll talk to dad and see what we can organise for them; you deserve to be able to lay them to rest, even if their bodies were never recovered."

Kira said nothing and Athrun let him be, allowing the brunette to grieve.

That's how Patrick found them; the look Athrun gave him as he sat down next to them indicating that his son would tell him later. Instead Patrick unpacked the picnic basket he'd brought with them and soon Kira was coaxed out of his hiding place to eat.

* * *

Siegel found his friend deep in thought, hours after his return, in front of the fireplace with shot of brandy forgotten at his side. He knew that Patrick had taken the boys to Lenore's grave but he had seen no signs of distress from the two Zalas. Kira had been asleep and Athrun had put him in the guest room before seeking his daughter out.

"Everything fine Patrick, you seem to be very deep in thought" Siegel prompted as he entered the study. His fellow councilman started before giving a mock scowl.

"You just scared years off my life Clyne, I hope you realise that?" Patrick groused playfully

Siegel laughed "you've still got many more ahead of you so it's a small loss. But seriously, what's weighing so heavily on your mind?"

Patrick sighed before taking a sip of his forgotten brandy. "It's about the deaths of my dear friends Caridad and Haruma Yamato; Kira's parents. Something about it doesn't seem right. Knowing Haruma as I do, the possibility of him skidding on icy roads is slim. Both of us used to rally races at a fairly advanced level on all sorts of terrain, including snow and ice. And even if he did skid, he knows how to hold one to ensure the car comes to a stop without incident. The most compelling thing though is the fact the main river in Orb is to the left of the highway out of the city and outgoing traffic is on the right hand side of the highway. If they were to skid into the river they'd have to cross the other lane and yet Kira says that no other cars were reported in the accident. That would never have happened, especially on a night as busy as Tanabata."

"You think it was a hit?" Siegel asked when Patrick lapsed back into silence.

Patrick gazed into his glass as if it held the answers "I don't know what to think Siegel, I don't know."

* * *

A/N: so for all those curious as to who sang what part here's the key I used:

**Athrun**

_Kira_

**_Together__  
_****_  
_**As usual, translations will be on the mou ichido live journal (link in profile) now that I know how to use it ^.^;

Story's starting to pick up pace now but that's all from me. Until next time

Ciao

P.S. Oh check out the Mou Ichido side story **Ima Kono Shunkan Ga Subete**! I finally got it up.


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: So I have been fighting with this chapter for 8 months and now it is finally done! Sorry for the long wait but to compensate, you get a double update, woohoo:) Chapter 12 has been done forever but it couldn't go up before 11 so it has been sitting and waiting for chapter 11 to cooperate. This is as unbeta'd as it gets; I'll post the cleaned up version as soon as it comes back but for now, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own Gundam SEED; if I did, Athrun/Kira would be so canon it hurts.**

* * *

Everyone from the Zala party was relieved when they returned to the mansion the day following the testing. Kira was often seen wandering the house deep in thought and the two Zala men didn't push; accepting the harmonic training was a decision that Kira need to make on his own. In the meantime, Patrick made an appointment for the brunette's next physio session as well as an appointment with the neurologist that had been recommended to them. Athrun stuck close to Kira, not wanting him to be alone in his distracted state. He did some quiet enquiries regarding Kira's graduation and that brought to mind Kira's friends, whom were still captive on the Archangel.

"Dad, did anything come out of the enquiry regarding Kira's friends who were with him on the EA ship?" Athrun asked one afternoon when Kira had retreated into the music room

Patrick slapped a hand to his forehead "I'd forgotten to check up on that to be honest. The council needs to make a call to ORB and let them know what our findings were. Kira and his friends were taken captive against the laws regarding prisoners of war. A rescue operation might need to be put into place; if La Flaga was using Kira as his punching bag, then there's no reason to believe that he won't resort to using the others, especially if they could provide information on Kira."

Athrun frowned "that's not good news. How soon can we alert ORB to the missing teens?"

A sigh "I'll ask Ezalia to call Lord Uzumi Atha tonight. Now about this party that Dearka wanted to have…"

Now it was Athrun's turn to sigh "I'm going to call the guys and have them postpone or cancel. It's obvious that Kira isn't up for something like that plus we saw them not too long ago. I expect that Dearka will be having something for his 18th so that should soften the blow at least."

Patrick gave his son a smile "Kira'll be okay, don't fret Athrun. We just need to continue supporting and showing him that he is safe now. Everything else will come with time."

* * *

Kira's fingers danced over the keys as he let the music take hold. The song was haunting and allowed him to contemplate his conflicted feelings. On the one hand, he was glad to be out of La Flaga's reach but on the other he felt guilty for leaving his friends unprotected. Night time found him seeing them tortured at the hand of the sadistic blonde man and more than once he'd woken to tears streaming down his face.

"Hey Kiki, you okay?" Athrun's voice broke through his guilt-ridden thoughts as the blue-haired boy opened the door.

"Just thinking," Kira said softly as the song reached its crescendo.

Athrun sat beside the smaller teen at the piano and watched as dexterous fingers brought the melody to a close "that song seems familiar. Did you write it?"

Kira shook his head "heard it somewhere and looked for it on the net before… It's actually one of my Heliopolis friend's favourite. I played it for her birthday, Miriallia is her name."

Thinking of Miriallia brought back thoughts of his captive friends. Athrun noticed the sudden silence.

"Someone from the council is going to contact Lord Uzumi about them tonight" the older boy said softly "between the Council and ORB a rescue plan will be made, don't worry too much."

"But I left them to La Flaga," Kira whispered dropping his eyes to the floor "they're naturals, they don't heal as quickly as we do; that _man_ might do some serious damage before they're rescued. I'd never be able to forgive myself then."

Athrun covered one of Kira's hands with his own. "They'll implement quickly, with your testimony they know that it's a matter of urgency. For now, there's nothing we can do but wait and hear what'll happen."

Kira gave a barely discernible nod. Giving the brunette boy a brief kiss to the cheek, Athrun stood "Dinner's soon, want to do some physio exercises in the meantime?"

The petit boy stood as well before balancing himself on his crutches, "sure," he said with a small smile, glad for the brief distraction.

* * *

Kira found himself in the neurologists' office the next day. Patrick's call had been anticipated and the doctor had cleared them for the appointment, having been forewarned by Dr Lebellio.

"Morning Mister Yamato, I am Doctor Milo. Dr Lebellio said that you've been having uncontrollable tremors after being injured am I correct?"

Kira nodded minutely and tried to get closer to Patrick. Seeing this, the doctor smiled to try and ease her patient's discomfort.

"You can relax Mr Yamato, I won't do anything that will hurt you; I'd lose my license if I ever did. Now I just wanted to know if you've had another attack of this nature and then we'll send you through for a MRI scan to see if we can discern what the problem is."

Patrick gave the teen an encouraging smile, prompting him to answer the neurologist "I've had one other since I last saw Dr Lebellio and it was the strongest yet. It went on for about ten minutes."

"And you were conscious throughout the attack?" Dr Milo asked as she wrote something in the file in front of her.

"Yes" Kira answered.

The doctor nodded before writing something else and handing it to Patrick. "I'd like to do a blood test in addition to the scan, just to make sure that there's nothing in the blood stream that could be causing some damage.

When Kira returned from the scan, the check-up proceeded quickly. Blood was drawn with as little fuss as possible; Kira hiding in Patrick's chest when the orderly had approached with the needle. The older man had hugged the scared teen close and held him steady to try and make the experience as quick as possible.

The scan results showed no irregularities and to be certain Dr Milo tested the strength and sensitivity of Kira's lower back muscles. With a satisfied nod, she told the teen that he should be able to move around with one crutch instead of the two.

"The physiotherapy has done a lot to help strengthen the muscles again. At the rate you are improving, you should make a full recovery by the end of the month. I do want you to try and walk short distances unassisted, but to use the crutch once you'll be walking for more than a meter or two."

Kira nodded in understanding before giving the elder Zala a small smile; glad that he would be completely healed soon.

"The test results should be back in a few days. The front office will call as soon as they are available. I'd like to schedule a follow up appointment at that time unless something urgent comes up in the blood work." Dr Milo continued, writing in Kira's file as she spoke. "Other than that you're free to go. If there's another attack before the next appointment don't hesitate to call."

Patrick stood and shook the doctor's hand before assisting Kira up "Come Kiki, I'm sure Athrun's worn a hole in the living room carpet by now. Let's go put him out of his misery."

* * *

Lord Uzumi frowned as he re-read the note in his hand. The contents worried him, especially since it had been heavily encrypted and had come from a line that could not be traced.

_To the current leader of the ORB nation_

_There is an urgent situation aboard the Earth Alliance ship known as the Archangel that I strongly feel needs to be brought to your attention. Five ORB refugees are being held captive for their connection to an ORB national who has been revealed to be a coordinator. The six had been taken aboard the vessel during the first wave of attacks on Heliopolis. Knowing the Earth Alliance's tendency to ignore international standards regarding the treatment of prisoners of war; I fear for their safety, especially since the commanders of this vessel are desperate for information regarding the coordinator national. He has been missing for more than six weeks after being sent into battle in a mobile suit against his will. _

_The only contact I had with the teens was at the beginning of the spell for which the sixth member of their group went missing. I have not seen or heard from them since._

_I implore you to take my message seriously and do anything in your power to retrieve these teens. They have no business with this war._

_M_

_P.S. The only names I am aware of are Miriallia, Tolle, Sai and Kira. It is the last who is currently missing._

Looking at the pictures he had had printed of those still missing after the Heliopolis attack he sighed again. Not a single one of the teens mentioned had any place being part of a needless war, especially against their will. The violet eyes of the one teen haunted him especially so, innocence still shining from within their depths.

A knock on his office door broke him from his thoughts.

"Enter" he called, placing the missive on top of the pictures.

"Lord Uzumi, you have a call from Decembrius. Council Woman Joule would like to seek your audience." The secretary announced from where he stood in the doorway.

"Thank you, I'll take her call."

A curt nod and the door closed. Seconds later, the screen on his desk blurred before a grim faced Ezalia addressed him "Lord Uzumi, there's a problem. Do you have on record a citizen by the name of Kira Yamato?"

The ORB leader rubbed a hand down his face tiredly "Please tell me that you have found him and that the other teenagers are with him as well."

Ezalia's eyes widened in surprise "How…"

"I received an encrypted message regarding five teenagers that are being held captive by the Earth Alliance and that one of their number went missing, having last been seen being forced into battle. I was only given names of four of them and Kira was one of the names listed."

"Are you aware of the torture he endured while under the care of the Earth Alliance?" the white haired woman asked

Uzumi's face darkened causing Ezalia to frown "from your expression I'm guessing you didn't."

"Council Woman Joule, please could you explain all that you know. I'm in no mood for games at this moment."

Ezalia gave him a blank look "I hope you have plenty of time on your hands because this is a long, gruesome tale."

An hour later and both parties felt drained "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Could I employ you to coordinate a rescue? You will have ORB resources backing your efforts."

Ezalia gave a small smile, her first since the start of the conversation "you don't even have to ask."

* * *

"Kira, Athrun can I come in?" Patrick asked his face dark with worry. The teens looked up from the pamphlets they had been pursuing, giving the older man their full attention when they heard the seriousness in his voice.

"What's up Dad?" Athrun asked as he took Kira's hand in his, still trying to get the younger boy used to little touches again.

Patrick rubbed a hand down his face, not liking what he was about to do. "Athrun, your team has been called up to attempt a rescue mission. Briefing is tonight at the council centre."

Athrun paled but nodded, knowing that their team had only been on stand-by and that they could have been called up any time. They'd been lucky to have as much time off as they'd had. Beside him, Kira began trembling; knowing exactly whose rescue mission Athrun was going on. Noticing the almost painful grip Kira now had, the blunette turned to his terrified fiancé.

"It'll be fine," he said softly, stroking a now pale cheek, "we'll be fine."

"I've got to come with you," Kira whispered still shaking

The two Zala men frowned at that "Kira, you don't have to," Patrick said "you're still not completely healed and can very easily get hurt again."

A spark of anger ignited in the amethyst eyes, overriding the terror "I'm not an invalid Uncle Patrick," Kira said indignantly "I have to go with them. They won't be able to get in otherwise."

Athrun sighed, having not expected Kira to fight them over this "we've all been trained koishii. We know what we're getting ourselves into. You, however, have not and I'd feel much better if you weren't there."

"Those are my friends" Kira hissed, now well and truly angry at what he was hearing "do you expect me to sit here and do nothing?"

Startled at his tone, Athrun looked at the petit teen beside him in shock. The silence was enough confirmation for Kira though and wrenching his hand free from Athrun's grip, he grabbed his crutch and left; slamming the door behind him.

Bewildered, Athrun sought his father "what happened?"

"Caridad's temper still lives it seems" Patrick replied, easily as startled as his son "let's wait until he cools down and I'll go talk to him."

An hour later, Patrick found himself in front of Kira's bedroom. Taking a deep breath to steel himself in case Kira was still in a temper, an inherited trait that he'd avoided having directed at him by the young man's mother, he knocked firmly on the wood; opening the door once Kira granted him permission to enter.

"Okay there Kira?" the elder man asked as he sat next to the brunette.

"Sorry for that Uncle Patrick," Kira apologised "It was uncalled for."

Patrick gave the teen's shoulder a squeeze to show that there were no ill feelings "want to talk about it?"

Kira was silent, gathering his thoughts on how best to explain "Uncle Patrick, I worked on part of the system as my final project. There's an encryption that no one will be able to decode but myself. If Athrun and his team try, they'll be caught most likely. I don't want that to happen, not when I can prevent it. Plus those are my friends on that ship; I want to help them escape. I don't want them to be hurt because this goes badly."

"Athrun and the others were trained for a long time Kiki, they'll be able to handle the mission. We also don't want you to go anywhere near the EA while there is the possibility of them still looking for you. Having just got you back; we don't want to lose you so soon" Patrick explained gently.

Kira sighed, knowing that there was no way of getting his uncle to agree until he told him the full story "can I come with you tonight to the meeting, I think I might have to explain the encryption that was encoded before they go and I'd rather only tell the story once."

"It's really that important?" Patrick asked as he drew Kira into his side. The small teen flinched slightly before relaxing into the hold and nodded.

"Then you may come with us, if you feel that strongly about it."

* * *

The three were silent as Patrick drove them to the council centre that evening. Athrun wondered what happened between his father and Kira after the brunette's outburst for him to be accompanying them. Also, Kira's hands were becoming increasingly raw from him constantly wringing them; something he only did when he was anxious. Placing a calming hand on the slim hands, he gave a small smile; trying to put the brunette at ease.

"We've arrived boys" Patrick said as he pulled into a parking space. Kira jumped before catching himself.

Athrun leaned over and gave the nervous boy a kiss on the cheek "Relax Kiki, I'll be right beside you. I won't let anything happen to you."

Kira gave a small, tight smile before accepting Patrick's hand to help him out.

Clyne met them at the door, "Good evening Patrick, Athrun, Kira. You're just in time, we're about to begin. It's council room three."

The party made their way to their seats, nodding in greeting to the others seated around the table. Ezalia stood once they were settled, started the meeting.

"Before we begin the briefing I just wanted to clarify Mr Yamato's presence with us tonight, even though he is a civilian. He has informed Chairman Zala that there is some information we need to be aware of before we commence with this operation. Mr Yamato if you would please…"

Kira stood tall, despite the fear that gripped him at the attention that he was given. He could do this; for Miriallia, Tolle, Kuzzey, Sai and Flay.

"There's something you need to know before beginning this operation;" Kira spoke clearly into the silent room "something about my final project."

* * *

**A/N: Cliffhanger but don't worry, the next chapter will be up tomorrow. It is late this side so I'm going to head to bed so to edit efficiently tomorrow. Thank you for reading.**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Chapter 12 coming your way. Happy reading; unbeta'd though the chapter is. Please don't be afraid to let me know of any errors; I an convinced that I haven't caught all of them.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own GS; From the inside or you know my name.**

* * *

Previously

"_There's something you need to know before beginning this operation," Kira spoke clearly "About my final project"_

* * *

Silence reigned in the Council room as incredulous eyes looked at the brown-haired coordinator. Starting to become uncomfortable with all the attention, and with his bravery waning in the rising tension, Kira began backing away from the meeting table; prepared to flee if things tuned hostile. Kasim and Patrick, realising that Kira was feeling threatened, quickly took control.

"Mr Yamato, could you please explain your statement further?" the micro-engineer asked politely. At the head of the table, Patrick gave the frightened teen an encouraging nod.

Kira stopped his escape but didn't return to his seat "Professor Kato," he continued still weary of the tension in the room "had me develop an encryption to be used on the ship so that the soldiers couldn't alter the code used in the recreation areas. None of us wanted to be accused of doing a shoddy job by the Earth Alliance. It was decided that we would use Steganography which would then be piggybacked onto the security systems' code. I'd argued with Professor Kato saying that it would introduce a weakness in the defences that could get us into trouble but the professor said that as long as only the two of us knew the decryption then there would be no problem. As it is, the defence is impossible to break…"

"You helped the Earth Alliance make an impenetrable defence! You are a traitor to this nation!" Herman Gould shouted, interrupting Kira and startling him into a flashback.

"I'm sorry," the brunette cried as he turned to run from the room "I'm sorry, please don't hurt me, I'm sorry"

Athrun jumped from his seat and wrapped Kira into a hug. The smaller boy flinched violently before recognising his fiancé. He then dissolved into violent sobs, all the while apologising.

Ezalia stood, trying to maintain order, as Patrick stalked around the table, ready to lay into his fellow council man. "Order, will have order at this meeting" she cried as Siegel grabbed his friend's arm to prevent him from attacking "I think that a five minute recess is in order and then we'll hear what else Mr Yamato has to say."

"Seeing as some people are too hot headed to let him finish in the first place," Patrick growled angrily before making his way towards the two teenagers.

"I'm sorry Uncle Patrick, " Kira cried from Athrun's arms "I'm sorry, the professor only told me once we had finished what it was that we'd done and by then we couldn't undo it without alerting the ship's mechanics and he made it seem as if we were just doing something to de-stress after all the work and…"

"Shh Kiki, I understand," Patrick soothed the hysterical teen, not understanding at all "you need to calm down before you make yourself sick. It's okay, you can tell us everything that happened; no one's going to hurt you while I'm around to prevent it."

Kira shivered and Athrun took his jacket off, wrapping him in it before gathering Kira into his lap. Nicol handed Patrick a handkerchief, who took it gratefully. Carefully, the older man dried Kira's face and eyes. Slowly the brunette began calming down but he buried himself into the crook of Athrun's neck, not wanting to face the hostile glares he was sure were coming from the council and Athrun's teammates.

Ignoring Kira's now slightly painful clinging; Athrun re-seated them at the table, keeping himself calm for the smaller teen's sake.

"Are we ready to continue?" Siegel asked once everyone had taken their seats. Kira began trembling again at the sound of the council man's voice so Athrun slowly rubbed the bony back in an effort to calm him. Seeing how upset the teen still seemed, Kasim spoke

"I think maybe Mr Yamato might feel more comfortable finishing his explanation away from the rest of us. We can stream it on the screen instead." He suggested.

The council and mobile suit pilots nodded, they too could see Kira was still terrified.

"Kiki," Athrun called softly "who would you like to finish talking to? Dad can't come with us."

Kira lifted his head out of its hiding place long enough for him to take in all who were present. Gould winced as he saw the fear and unshed tears still sparkling in the amethyst orbs. He told his taller fiancé his choice before hiding again.

Athrun stood, Kira still in his arms, before walking towards the white-haired woman "Ms Joule would you please accompany us?"

* * *

Tea had been served in the alternative conference room when the party of three arrived. Kira allowed himself to be lowered into a chair beside Athrun's and took the cup the older boy offered him. Drawing Athrun's jacket closer around him, Kira picked up where he left off; eyes fixed to the table.

"The encryption we used is Professor Kato's favourite song. He was into rock music from the early 2000 years." Kira told Ezalia softly "one afternoon he took my friends and I to his apartment, said we needed a break from all the technology. He allowed us to use his recording studio to do with as we saw fit as long as he got to record us playing his favourite song."

Kira gave a small smile as he remembered the afternoon "he was right, it was a nice break from all the coding we'd been doing. Tolle and Sai even managed to convince me to sing the lead for the professor's song. It was a bit odd but we managed it; I'd never played such heavy guitar or sung such a violent sounding song in a very, very long time but it did relieve stress."

"And this is the song that is needed to bring down the defences?" Ezalia asked incredulously "Can the original version be used?"

Kira shook his head, taking a sip of his tea to calm his nerves "It has to be the one where I sang. The frequencies are a bit different and that was where the unlock mechanism was coded. Otherwise anyone would have been able to unlock the encryption and then we would have had trouble with the EA."

Athrun frowned in thought "Kiki, you said that you had to be there otherwise we wouldn't be able to get in. Where exactly did you put the encryption?"

Raising his head, the brunette gave them a slightly mischievous smile before ducking his head again "the karaoke machine."

Green eyes widened in surprise "then that afternoon…"

Kira nodded "we inadvertently recorded all the songs the ship uses in its karaoke system. Yeah, we were surprised too. When the professor had finished with the last song, he removed any vocals thus locking the system. To unlock it, I'd have to sing the professor's song; my voice frequency holds the decryption key."

* * *

The meeting passed quickly after that. Seeing as there was no point in sending a rescue party until they could find a way to decode the system, ideas were passed around and considered or rejected. Kira remained close to Athrun, watching and listening. After hearing the idea of having a recording made for a second time,he poked Athrun to get his attention.

"What is it Kiki?" Athrun asked confused, tuning out of the meeting proceedings.

"A recording won't work. The nature of the song means that some of the frequencies will not correlate when played back to the system." Kira replied, glancing down at his hands.

Athrun gave him a perplexed look; prompting a small smile, "it's a rock song from the 2000 years Athrun. There's screaming in it."

"What song is it? Or rather what band?"

"I can sing it for you if you'd like," Kira offered shyly "then you'll understand."

Athrun pressed his forehead to Kira's and gave him a peck on the tip of his nose "I'd love for you to sing for me again Kiki."

Kira glanced around the room noticing that no one was paying them any attention. "Can we go back to where we were before; I have Torii and he has the instrumental from when we removed the vocals."

Nodding slightly, the blunette helped the smaller boy up before the two of them walked out, making as if they were heading to the bathrooms. Neither noticed Rau's sharp gaze on them.

Once the door was closed behind them, the blonde commander strode over to the surveillance computer and switched the channel back to the room where Athrun had taken Kira earlier. The noise of the renewed feed startled everyone into silence.

"I believe that we'll be able to plan better once we have an idea of just what we are dealing with." Rau said by way of explanation.

"Commander, I don't understand," Gould voiced "there's no one in the room, how will…"

At that moment the door opened and they saw Athrun leading Kira in. The two teenagers made their way to the back of the room, closer to the camera, fortunately for the watchers. Athrun sat on the boardroom table edge while Kira remained standing in front of him.

"I'm going to do it like how I did when we recorded it so… Promise you won't laugh," Kira said as he locked eyes with Athrun. Athrun crossed his heart in an echo of the same promise he'd made many years previously. From the smile that lit Kira's face, he remembered the gesture.

"Okay Torii, its Prof Kato's song," the brunette said to the little mechanical bird in his hands. Torii cocked his head before giving a chirp and flying into Kira's hair. A heavy introduction started playing while Kira took a deep breath and prepared himself

_I don't know who to trust, no surprise_

_Everyone feels so far away from me_

_Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies  
_

_Trying not to break_

_But I'm so tired of this deceit_

_Every time I try to make myself_

_Get back up on my feet  
_

_All I ever think about is this_

_All the tiring time between_

_And how trying to put my trust in you_

_Just takes so much out of me_

The slower sections had allowed Kira to completely relax and allow himself to lose his inhibitions. He let his body move as he was completely absorbed in the heated music._  
_

_Take everything from the inside_

_And throw it all away_

_'Cause I swear for the last time_

_I won't trust myself with you  
_

_Tension is building inside, steadily_

_Everyone feels so far away from me_

_Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me  
_

_Trying not to break_

_But I'm so tired of this deceit_

_Every time I try to make myself_

_Get back up on my feet  
_

_All I ever think about is this_

_All the tiring time between_

_And how trying to put my trust in you_

_Just takes so much out of me_

Those left in the meeting room had to fight to keep their jaws from dropping as they watched Kira perform. The teen was terrifying beautiful when he sang uninhibited. Unlike the beautiful ballad he'd performed at the testing, this song was raw and powerful. Even Patrick had to stare; it had been such a long time that Kira had been completely open while singing; not since Lenore started training him in music._  
_

_Take everything from the inside_

_And throw it all away_

_'Cause I swear for the last time_

_I won't trust myself with you_

_I won't waste myself on you_

_You, you_

_Waste myself on you_

_You, you  
_

_I'll take everything from the inside_

_And throw it all away_

_'Cause I swear for the last time_

_I won't trust myself with you  
_

_Everything from the inside_

_And just throw it all away_

_'Cause I swear for the last time_

_I won't trust myself with you_

_You, you  
_

"It's been a while since you sang so freely Kiki," Athrun said with a smile as he clapped in appreciation. "I think it was just before Mum started music lessons. Remember, when we watched those spy movies."

Kira laughed at the memories and made his way to Athrun, sitting beside him on the table. "Do you still remember…?"

"_If you take a life do you know what you'll give?"_ Athrun started singing before Kira could finish his sentence "_Odds are you won't like what it is. When the storm arrives would you be seen with me by the merciless eyes of deceit?"_

Kira gave another delighted laugh before taking up the next section "_I've seen angels fall from blinding heights but you yourself are nothing so divine; just next in line_"

The two continued singing, unaware of the spying eyes, one set glad that the connection between the two was growing ever stronger.

_**Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you**_

_**The odds will betray you**_

_**And I will replace you**_

_**You can't deny the prize it may never fulfil you**_

_**It longs to kill you**_

_**Are you willing to die?**_

_**The coldest blood runs through my veins**_

_**You know my name.**_

Athrun placed a hand on Kira's cheek, leaning closer so that their foreheads were touching.

**If you come inside things will not be the same**

**When you return to the night**

**And if you think you've won**

**You never saw me change**

**The game that we've all been playing**

Kira closed his eyes, remembering how they had screamed out the lyrics when they were younger in a misguided notion that if you sang louder, the sound was better.

_I've seen these diamonds cut through harder men than you yourself_

_But if you must pretend_

_You may meet your end_

_**Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you**_

_**The odds will betray you**_

_**And I will replace you**_

_**You can't deny the prize it may never fulfil you**_

_**It longs to kill you**_

_**Are you willing to die?**_

_**The coldest blood runs through my veins**_

_**You know my name**_

**You know my name**

_You know my name_

**You know my name **

_You know my name_

**You know my name**

_**You know my name**_

"I'm glad I have you back koishii," Athrun whispered once they'd gotten their breath back "life hasn't been the same without you."

"I missed you so much while you were gone," Kira confessed opening his eyes to gaze at the face he'd longed for so long to see again, still exhilarated from singing for the simple pleasure of singing "things weren't right; even before Mama and Papa, I was always just…"

Athrungave Kira a confused look when he trailed off and froze, his eyes clouding over "Kiki," he called softly "Kira?"

The brunette cocked his head to the side "Lacus is singing, can't you hear?" Athrun shook his head before quickly helping Kira stand as the boy started getting up

"They can hear her as well. They can hear her singing to me."

"Who Kira?" Athrun asked trying not to panic. He figured this had to do with the harmonics thing.

"They should be hearing her, they need to hear her," Kira said as he walked out of the room, heading back to the conference room that held the council members.

* * *

Rau shut off the screen before looking at the others in the room "Since they are on their way back maybe we can get a head start on this new mystery. Can anyone in this room hear Miss Clyne singing?"

Everyone shook their heads before turning to face the opening door. Kira walked unhesitatingly towards Nicol and Yzak, who look startled when the smaller teen approached them.

"Do you hear?" Kira asked them softly once he stood between the two chairs. The two shook their heads. Kira laid a hand on each of theirs.

"You need to hear her sing," was all that the brunette said before he collapsed. The two mobile suit pilots gasped in shock before they too lost consciousness.

Everyone else stared at them in shock as Athrun rushed to check on Kira while Rau checked on his two pilots

"What…was that?" Ezalia asked once the three were pronounced to be alright but deeply asleep.

"Kira and I were singing before he went into this trance, saying that he could hear Lacus singing and that 'they' needed to hear her sing too." Athrun volunteered hesitantly, not really wanting to admit he'd bunked off the meeting for a while.

"Why Nicol and Yzak though?" Dearka asked "Okay Nicol I can understand, he's particularly sensitive to his music even though he is not a harmonic but Yzak? I didn't know he even played an instrument."

Ezalia made her way to her son's side before brushing away his bangs, her expression sad "He used to but then his teacher was killed." She said softly "He played for the final time at her funeral and I don't think he's even looked at his violin since then. He was very attached to her."

"Perhaps it's time he played again," Clyne said before excusing himself, wanting to check on his daughter since it was apparently her that caused this.

Not long after Clyne stepped out, Nicol and Yzak started stirring. The two sat up with a groan, dislodging Kira's hands from where they had still gripped their own.

"You okay Yzak?" Nicol asked once he had gotten his bearings back. The Duel pilot nodded but said nothing.

"I think we need to call it a night," Eileen Carver suggested once it appeared the boys weren't going to say anything about what happened while they were unconscious. "We'll meet again tomorrow to discuss this further."

Athrun bent to pick Kira up but found that Yzak was already preparing to lift the teen himself. The blonde looked up and ice blue eyes met puzzled green

"It's the least I can do after what he's done for me. He'll wake tomorrow." Yzak said with a shrug

"What happened?" Athrun asked looking from his fiancé to his teammate

Yzak looked down at the sleeping brunette, face unreadable "he managed what my mother couldn't do; he convinced me to play again."

* * *

And that's all folks...at least for now. Chapter 13 is in the works and should be up soon; if it doesn't decide to fight me. Oh and for anyone interested, I did some work on Ima and fixed a lot of errors that I should have caught in the first place. A second side story _Anna ni issho datta no ni _will be posted as well to celebrate Mou Ichido reaching 100 reviews! Thanks for all the support.

One last thing before I sign off. Steganography is real encryption technique; only it uses pictures within pictures and not audio as far as I know. Quite interesting reading if anyone wants to know more.

So from me, ciao ciao.


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N1: My dear readers. I apologise for only having a single chapter ready for you after such a long wait but last week there was a family emergency and I haven't had the drive to finish the second chapter since. Luckily this one was already finished so I decided that I'd rather put it up instead of it waiting for the next chapter to be finished. I have tried to go through it with a fine tooth comb to fish out the errors but I'm unsure as to whether I was thorough enough as this is going up un beta'd. Hopefully I'll get my inspiration back soon. In happier news, Sunshine02 has kindly volunteered to translate Mou Ichido into French as I lack the grammar and vocabulary to do so myself. Thank you to them!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot.**

**Warning: This is a completely different type of chapter...as least I think so :)**

* * *

_Bim ar thoir an comhartha  
Scaoileas m'anam saor  
Caithfidh mo chroi a bheith glan  
Roimh siochan theacht chum  
Ni leanfaidh mo Bhrn  
Is bim sasta le mo ghra  
Guim comhartha chabhreoidh liom  
M a chomhlionadh_

The first thing that Nicol and Yzak registered after the brunette coordinator took their hands was the feeling of being in free fall. The world around them had blurred as they were transported to their new destination. As they fell they then heard the singing which vaguely resembled chanting. It surrounded them in that place between worlds, the sound both comforting and haunting.

When the scene cleared the two pilots found themselves standing in a field, Kira between them. Further in front of them, they saw the pink haired songstress seated on the grass with her back towards them. Her head was turned to the heavens and her eyes were closed, listening to the music that surrounded them.

_Bim ar thoir an comhartha  
Scaoileas m'anam saor  
Caithfidh mo chroi a bheith glan  
Roimh siochan theacht chum  
Si an ghaoth do ghuth  
Si an bhaisteach do dheora  
Grian, do chroi ar las  
Do spiorad mo shlanu  
_

Lacus opened her eyes as the last strains of the instrumental faded away. Sensing that she was no longer alone, she turned and her eyes widened at seeing the three standing there.

"Oh dear," she cried "I didn't mean for _this_ to happen."

Nicol released Kira's hand and stepped forward "Good evening Ms Clyne; could you please perhaps explain to us where we are? Kira thought that we needed to hear you sing. Seems he was right; it was wonderful."

Lacus turned her attention to the smaller boy, who was looking around curiously; seemingly not bothered by the fact that they were no longer in the meeting room. "I'm afraid this is my fault," she admitted with a slight giggle "I'd forgotten that there was another person close by who'd be directly influenced when I did this." She motioned for them to take a seat.

"Hello Kira, Mr Joule," Lacus greeted once the other teens had joined her "Kira, I'm sorry for drawing you here; I'd forgotten, to be honest, when I started meditating."

"What happened Lacus, did I do something wrong?" the brown-haired boy asked worriedly "I was with Athrun and then there's a blank before I was here with Nicol and Yzak."

Lacus blushed before giving the slight boy a hug in apology. Kira flinched but didn't move away from her.

"Oh I am so embarrassed," she admitted once she'd released her companion. "You see this is a place where harmonics can come to sing freely without affecting the people around them. The problem is that other harmonics can be drawn in so we're told to only enter the meditation late at night when most people are asleep. It's not so bad to be drawn in from a dream but I'm told it's quite unsettling when one is awake. I've been the only harmonic in the area for a long time however and I've been bending the rules a bit," here Lacus blushed again "I have been practising much earlier than we are told to start. At the time, I didn't realise that Kira would be drawn if I did so and for that I must apologise. Truly I did not mean for this to happen; Athrun must be so worried."

"What song were you singing when we appeared Ms Clyne?" Yzak asked after it seemed like the explanation had finished "It was both warm and chilling."

"It's called Sigma. I wrote it as a song that's meant to calm the soul of its troubles. Usually I sing it before bed to ensure a peaceful night, for myself and for others who might be around, or before practise to clear my mind."

"Others?" Kira asked curiously

Lacus smiled "Oh yes, sometimes I'll meet the other harmonics here if our meditations have happened to coincide. Usually we're far away enough from each other to not be disturbed in our practises but sometimes they'll ask me to sing Sigma to close the meditation sessions and ensure a peaceful rest."

The two mobile suit pilots exchanged baffled glances but took her word for it. The four sat in silence, considering the situation, before Lacus jumped to her feet; pulling a startled Kira up with her. "Come on, we might as well have some fun while we're here."

"We need to be getting back actually," Yzak interjected with a raised brow "we were at a council meeting."

Lacus pouted at the white-haired boy "Please, it won't take very long. And I really want you all to have a chance to play while you're here."

Yzak sighed in exasperation. Under the onslaught of puppy dog eyes and with a feeling that he was going to regret this, he relented.

* * *

"Lacus what do you want us to do?" Kira asked as the girl led them down a short path. His hand was still firmly clasped in hers and it didn't seem like the songstress was going to let go any time soon. "Where are we going?"

"There's an area where we'll be able to have some fun without disturbing anyone who's here practising. As to what we're going to do," she stopped and faced the three boys "we're going to make some music, sillies. I know you're all particularly sensitive to music otherwise you'd never have been able to come here. I've never done this before because everyone else is quite a bit older than me so I'm going to take advantage of my mistake."

"But the council…" Yzak started again. Lacus stilled his protests and continued to drag the three boys to the shielded area."

The glade that they stopped at didn't look too different from where they'd arrived but both Lacus and Kira shivered when they stepped onto the grass. The Duel pilot figured that they'd felt the protection, seeing as they were the ones with the ability to project.

"So, since Mr Joule and Mr Amalfi are not harmonics they can't play solos." Lacus looked a bit put out before brightening again "but we can always do duets or group pieces. This is going to be so much fun! Music sounds slightly different here and I've always wanted to try my hand at doing this for something other than practise." Lacus said enthusiastically. Nicol and Kira smiled at her exuberance while Yzak crossed his arms.

"Do you play an instrument Ms Clyne?" Nicol asked politely. He was enjoying spending time with the pink-haired girl, even if her energy at the moment was slightly draining.

"Please, call me Lacus," she replied taking his hand between two of hers "and yes, daddy asked me to learn the saxophone. I don't play it often because I prefer to sing so I keep it in daddy's office; the one that's not too far from the conservatory."

Nicol grinned before giving a sweeping bow "would you do me the honour of performing a duet with me for our friends?"

Lacus laughed before positioning her hands as if holding a saxophone. They watched in wonder as the instrument materialised between them. "The honour is mine," she said cheekily. "Just position yourself as if you are about to play and the instrument will materialise."

While the two musicians were getting prepared, Kira turned to the white-haired pilot beside him; curious about his friend's stoic team mate. "Athrun never mentioned that you played an instrument," the brown-haired boy said shyly.

"Well Zala doesn't know everything about me now does he?" Yzak answered gruffly. Kira flinched at his tone and turned away with a quiet "sorry,"

Yzak shook his head and silently berated himself for scaring the other boy after telling him that he had no reason to be scared of him "hey don't be like that. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to take my annoyance out on you."

Kira nodded slightly but didn't turn back towards his companion. Yzak sighed and drew his knees up, resting his head on them. "The main reason no one knows is because I haven't played in a very long time. Years in fact."

The brunette coordinator turned his head, confusion showing on his face. Yzak held up a hand, stalling his questions. "I stopped when my teacher was murdered. After her funeral, I couldn't bring myself to play my violin…so I left it."

Yzak closed his eyes, not knowing why he'd admitted this to the smaller teen. Truthfully, he was hoping that Lacus didn't insist he play; this close to Carmen's anniversary, he didn't have the strength to even pick up the instrument his teacher had loved so. A touch to his arms drew his attention to his team mate's fiancé. Kira looked at him, face blank but eyes shining with sincerity. "She wouldn't have wanted you to stop because of her." he said simply before turning back to their other friends who'd announced that they were ready.

The white haired pilot also turned his attention back to the two musicians as they introduced the song, Kira's words repeatedly running through his head.

The first song that the two played reminded Yzak of a lullaby, a tale of safety and love eternal, unconditional. Lacus' slender fingers danced across the instrument she played while Nicol's piano accompaniment gently led her through the piece. The two were magnificent together; neither detracting from the other's skill and Yzak knew that his green-haired team mate would want to play with the songstress again.

The second song was more playful but just as beautiful as the last. It reminded Yzak of the song that had played for one of the last dances he had shared with Carmen, at another of his mother's parties where they'd performed together. Even at that young age, Yzak had known how to dance and had led his mentor through an enjoyable Viennese waltz.

Beside him, Kira swayed gently; a small smile gracing his face. Once again, the smaller boy's words came back and deep down, Yzak knew that the woman he had loved like a sister would not have wanted him to stop playing.

Kira clapped as the two bowed; the instruments having disappeared when they had changed position. Lacus bounded over and sat next to the brunette, leaving Nicol to close the circle they found themselves seated in.

"Please sing for us Kira," Lacus asked once they were settled. "You sang so beautifully the last time I heard you."

"Nothing like what he sang this evening with Athrun," Nicol said playfully as their brunette friend blushed furiously "he sang like a true heavy metal rock star; powerful, raw and uncontained"

"You saw that?" Kira asked in quiet horror. "But we'd left the room"

"The commander reconnected the stream when he noticed that the two of you had snuck out." Yzak clarified with a smirk.

Kira blushed again, even as Lacus squealed and turned a pair of pleading eyes his way "I won't sing that song but I'll sing another, it's a favourite of one of my friends from ORB" he relented

Following his pink-haired friend's instructions, Kira was soon cradling an acoustic guitar in his lap. The brunette strummed the strings a few times to test the tuning before starting

_In the morning when you wake up_

_Open your eyes to a new day_

_Look around at the gifts you've got_

_You've been so lucky along the way__  
__Time to finish what you've begun_

_Have the faith, you're the one_

_Throw your hat high - up to the sun_

_Now you face your greatest test_

_Use the lessons that you've learned_

_Your goal is to be the best_

_And claim the prize that you've earned__  
__Ever since you were a young man_

_You've kept your eye on the master plan_

_To reach for the top - and touch the sky__  
__It's your destiny_

_To spread your wings and fly_

_You can do it if you really try_

_You can do it if you really try_

_Spread your wings and learn to fly_

_You can do it if you really, really try_

_Keep movin' forward to stay alive_

_Trust your heart and you'll survive_

_Follow your dreams, never let them die__  
__It's your destiny_

_To spread your wings and fly_

_You can do it if you really try (You can do it…)_

_You can do it if you really try (Spread your wings…)_

_Spread your wings and learn to fly (Learn to fly…)_

_You can do it if you really, really try_

_You can do it if you really try (You've got the power)_

_You can do it if you really try (Just open your eyes…)_

_Reach for the top and touch the sky_

_You can do it _

_You can do it_

_Reach for the top and touch the sky_

_Trust you heart and you'll survive_

_Spread your wings and learn to fly_

_Follow your dreams_

_You can do it_

_You can do it if you really try_

_You can do it if you really try_

_Spread your wings and learn to fly_

_You can do it if you really, really try_

"Yzak, are you alright?" Nicol's worried voice broke through the haze he had fallen into. Lacus and Nicol were looking at him in concern while Kira looked stricken; the guitar having de-materialised once the teen's hands had let go. Feeling something wet on his face; Yzak raised a hand to his cheek, surprised to feel tears.

"I'm fine," the Duel pilot said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice "please do excuse me for a moment."

* * *

"I'm sorry," Kira's quiet voice came from behind him "I wouldn't have sung if I knew I was going to upset you."

Yzak turned to look at the petite boy before turning back to staring at the sky "It's not your fault." The white-haired pilot tried to reassure "It's me that has the problem."

Kira moved to sit next to where Yzak lay hesitantly. "Are you really okay?" he asked concerned "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, it's just very close; I haven't been myself for a while." Yzak admitted. At Kira's questioning look he elaborated "the anniversary of my teacher's death."

"What was she like?" Kira asked.

Yzak was silent for a while "From what Athrun's told us; she was just like you."

Kira gave him a startled look to which Yzak gave a small laugh "she was gentle and kind with a love for music that I sometimes could not comprehend. She took such good care of me and not just during our lessons. She'd visit often, just to spend time with me and she pushed me into not just playing the violin but 'producing music' as she'd often put it. Truly, I loved her like an older sister." Here Yzak's voice turned bitter "Then her asshole of a boyfriend killed her, in cold blood; and just because she was not yet ready for marriage. That monster took away one of the best people this universe has ever seen because he was impatient. I hate him; especially since he felt no remorse for what he had done. He boasted at his trial that it she deserved it for having the audacity to reject him"

"She wouldn't have wanted you to stop though," Kira repeated, once more placing a hand on Yzak's arm, trying to provide some measure of comfort.

Yzak sighed sadly "I know but like I said, I didn't have the strength to continue without her. Mainly, I didn't want to taint my memories of her and the songs we played with my bitterness. I knew that would be the primary emotion that would lace my music if I ever played again."

"You wouldn't do that," Kira argued "You loved her too much to allow that to happen."

"I didn't want to risk it."

They sat in silence, thoughts heavy. Faint strains of Nicol at the piano followed by Lacus' saxophone gave Kira an idea to try and help his new friend.

"Why don't you play a tribute to her for the anniversary? Something to let her know that you'll never forget her and that you love her." He suggested gently. "Athrun and I sang for Auntie Lenore on Shunbun no Hi"

"It's been so long though," Yzak protested

"Well, this is a place to practise so let's practise!" Kira said happily, glad that his idea hadn't been rejected "we might have to go back to Lacus and Nicol though; I don't think this area is shielded."

Yzak grinned at the younger boy's new enthusiasm and stood, offering a hand up. They made their way to their two friends who looked relieved upon seeing them.

"Thank goodness, I was a bit worried." Lacus said with a small smile. "You guys will probably need to head back soon. We have time for one more song I think."

"Mind if I give it a try?" Yzak asked, cautious.

Nicol looked surprised while Lacus squealed again "Let me show you how it works."

* * *

With the violin in his hands, Yzak was having second thoughts. He had asked Kira to accompany him on the piano after finding that he knew Carmen's song; apparently a favourite of one of his female friends. Lacus and Nicol seemed to be bursting in anticipation but he had warned them that he hadn't played in a very long time and not to expect much.

"Nonsense," Lacus said with a grin "It'll be perfect."

Kira turned to look at him, waiting for the indication to begin. Seeing his smile, the same smile he used to see on Carmen when she anticipated playing, erased the doubts and he nodded for the brunette to begin.

The bow felt rigid and foreign in his hand as he slowly bowed in time with the piano. Automatically, he corrected his positioning over the shaft and suddenly it felt like an extension of his being rather than a part of an instrument.

Letting himself relax into the song, he caressed the instrument; fingers drawing pathways on the strings as the song reached a crescendo.

The bow glided smoothly over the strings as they slowly made their way through the piece. Sometimes he'd tangle his fingers, having forgotten some areas of the fingering but he continued playing until the song reached its climax.

Here he gave poured everything he was feeling into the music, remembering how Carmen smiled when they reached this part of the song.

His hair fell into his face as the song drew to a close; obstructing his view. He didn't see his friends' awe-struck faces or the landscape fading away. He was downing in the feeling of the violin, in playing Carmen's song. He let his hands fall away, grateful that Kira had convinced him to pick up the instrument one more time.

It was this feeling that had him scooping up the sleeping teen and carrying him to the chairman's car; a puzzled Athrun following him.

He took the neglected case out once he was back in his room; opening it and running his fingers lightly down the instrument inside. Carefully lifting it from its resting place, Yzak moved to stand in front of his window, bow raised.

As the first notes of the Chopin's _Nocturne_ echoed around the room, one thought ran through the young pilot's mind before he lost himself in the music.

_Thank you Kira._

Behind him, he didn't see the door creep close.

* * *

**A/N 2: Before people start complaining I'd like to explain why everyone was more OOC in this chapter than usual. The song that Lacus sang is called Sigma by Secret Garden and roughly translates as thus:**

I search for the sign  
That will set my soul free  
My heart must be pure  
So that I can find peace  
My grief cannot last forever  
My love will be fulfilled  
I pray a sign will help me  
Be all that I can be

I search for the sign  
That will set my soul free  
My soul must be pure  
So that I can find peace  
The wind is your voice  
The rain is your tears  
You burning heart  
And spirit is my salvation

**I mentioned that Lacus uses this to ensure a peaceful rest. This is because I have intended this song to allow one to let go of one's inhibitions; the things that might keep one from being who they truly are or the guilt and worries one might have during the day. Of course it's not perfect; but one is more one's true self after having listened to the song and taken its meaning to heart thus allowing for some peace; hence good night's sleep. This also has the effect of Yzak being more open and less rough/prickly, Kira being less frightened/traumatised and Lacus being more bubbly and excitable. Nicol I unfortunately didn't give much screen time mainly because I just don't have a good grasp on his personality yet.**

**The songs played/mentioned in order are:**

**Sigma- Secret Garden; Miracles- Kenny G; Loving You- Kenny G; You can do it- John Loeffller, Giorni Dispari- Ludovico Einaudi and Nocturne in C sharp minor no. 20- Frederic Chopin.**

**Forgive me as well if my description of playing the saxophone and violin are off. I'm a pianist and have tried to get a feel for the manner of playing these instruments by watching performances on youtube. Also I have never seen the sheet music for these songs apart from the piano sheets for Miracles and Giorni Dispari so I couldn't draw from that either. And if Yzak is too easily convinced to play again then…umm…creative license?**

**Anyway I hope you enjoyed; normal programming to resume in the next chapter.**

**P.S. While this is some of Carmen's story it's not all of it. I might leave it here or expand on it in later chapters when developing Yzak further as a character. Yay or Nay?**


End file.
